12 year old boys and a pimple on my ass

I have one of each and they are both pissing me the fuck off.

The boy 
So yesterday his band teacher left a voice mail on Brad's cell phone.  Teddy is not learning his parts and is being disruptive in class and has been put out of class twice.  He wants to make sure Ted understands that if he doesn't shape up and practice more he's going to be moved down to the lower band.

Brad's away so he's IMing me this information and my reaction is "I'm going to kill him".  How dare he act up enough to get put out of class and yes he hasn't been practicing enough - but he's assured us he knows his parts well enough.  We are trying to get him to take some responsibility about things vs standing over him for everything - so we haven't been riding him as hard about practicing - Okay that stops now.  But to disrupt class - I'm going to kill him.  We go back and forth and decide he'll be grounded for a week which includes nothing with a screen and no friends.  It's the computer that will kill him - he's been IMing and emailing all his 12 year old friends like a fiend lately.  A week away from that will kill him.  Good!

But then.... Brad continues... The teacher went on to say he was leaving the message on the cell phone because while he had already left the message at home, he heard some of the boys talking and believed that Teddy might delete the message left at home.  No fucking way.  Teddy wouldn't do that.  I swear to God I will seriously kill him if he did that.  I have this suspicion that he did just that.  He's my easy kid - I'm scared to death what Jackson will be doing in a couple of years.  Teddy has always been incapable of lying or deceit of any kind.  He's the kid who will hide the bag of chips behind his back and say - I have no idea where the chips are - that's about his skill level in this area.  It's just not something he's ever been good at, I mean even a little, tiny, bit.  Apparently he's getting a little better at it.  Bastard.

I get home while he's at soccer practice and check it out - sure enough he did it.  He deleted the freakin' message.  He's going to be grounded for a month - which is until the day we leave for Disney.  I can't begin to tell you how pissed off I was.  I'm not a yeller I get quiet when I'm pissed which can be plenty scary enough.  I gave him one chance to come clean and he did - I have no idea what I would have done if he lied to my face about it - really, no clue.  I hit him hard with the whole I'm furious lecture, then hit him with the I'm disappointed part.  The part about how he's totally broken my trust.  That I didn't think he was the kind of kid who would do such a thing - but that he's proven me wrong on that.  That he'll have to work his butt off to earn that trust back.  He said "yes mom."

But then he was an ass for a while - he kept walking away from me when I was talking to him - for any reason - like here's your dinner.  That's when I totally lost it.  I became a yeller.  I told him in one long, loud breath that I was pissed as hell at him and that now was not the time to be an idiot and do things he knows totally piss me off even more.  You're a smart kid - use your brains at least until I've calmed down a little.  He was fine for the rest of the night.

I took the modem to work with me today as he comes home to an empty house when Brad's away and I didn't want there to be any way for him to get online.  I just know he was pissed as shit when he tried to go online this afternoon - Good!

Tonight the little shit took a shower in my bathroom which I reluctantly let him use even though he often messes it up and do you know what he did?  He didn't lift the seat when he went to the bathroom and so he peed on my seat and just left it there.  He's done this before.  We've had this conversation before.  But I'm still so pissed about yesterday - this was just stupid.  I made him come upstairs and clean it up and I told him he was done in my bathroom - never again. 

Ted(in a totally self righteous tone): Mom, how are you going to help me learn this?  It's hard you know! 

Me (in a very calm if somewhat patronizing tone): oh honey, this is just one of those things you need to figure out on your own and until you do, don't set foot in this room again.  Here, take your axe body wash and go. 

And the pimple on my ass. 
It's a pimple and it's on my ass.  It hurts, enough said.

Okay - my venting is over.... phew.