Friday, September 7, 2012

My family... sigh

1) This is a letter I sent to my friend Farrah the other morning...

Hopefully you're sound asleep but I am writing this in order to keep myself from killing Tommy in a bloody goulish mess.

He comes into my room where Dan and I are still sleeping.  I'm actually awake which I tell Tommy and he comes over to me to tell me 2 things. One is that he dropped his computer. The laptop we just bought him that I debated allowing him to have instead of a desktop computer because I was afraid he'd fucking drop it. "It's no big deal though mom. The screen isn't even cracked. But I'm telling you because Jason's gonna make a big deal out of it."  (really, Jason will think it's a big deal??? how fucking shocking)

Me. Where did it fall from? (thinking maybe it was sitting on the ottoman and fell to the carpeted floor.)

I was walking down the hall and it fell out of my arms.

Of course it did.

And 2nd he needs to tell me the Internet is down. Yes, I know it is. It went down right after I sent an email in the middle of the night.

Tom:  it's down
Me. Yes. I know
Tom. It's not working at all
Me. Yes I know.
Tom. But I can't play Xbox.
Me. Yes I know.
Tom. You need to fix it
Me. I can't. Your dad will look at it when he gets up.  Bring your computer back to your room and go take a shower.
Tom. (whining) I don't want to take a shower.
Me. You didn't take one yesterday. Go take one.
Tom. I really don't want to take one right now. (said in his best grown up voice, like could we please postpone this a little bit?)
Me. Okay. But go wash your face right now. You can shower in a bit.
Tom. I don't want to wash my face
Me. Okay. Do it anyway.
Tom. Whyyyyyyy?
Me. Because you have acne all over your face. Now go wash it.

He leaves.

I lay in bed for roughly 10 seconds when I realize I heard his computer drop in this seriously loud crash that I sat there and waited for screams of pain afterward. I get up to get his computer and I go straight to the bathroom where he should be washing his face and he's nowhere to be seen.

I pretty much want to kill him.

I find him in the basement. (shock of all shocks)

Me. TOMMY GET YOUR ASS UPSTAIRS RIGHT NOW AND BRING YOUR COMPUTER!!!!
Tom. Yeah??
Me. YOU DIDN'T WASH YOUR FACE
Tom. Yes I did.
Me. BULLSHIT  (There is a direct relationship between how pissed I am and how much I cuss which my children are well aware of)
Tom. I swear I did
Me. BULLSHIT. I STAYED IN BED AFTER YOU LEFT FOR ABOUT 10 SECONDS AND YOU ARE ALL THE WAY IN THE BASEMENT. YOU DIDN'T WASH YOUR FUCKING FACE.
Tom. I splashed water on it. (said with the tone that says aha, I've just proved you wrong)
Me. THAT'S NOT WASHING YOUR FACE
Tom. That's how I always wash my face.
Me. THAT'S NOT WASHING YOUR FACE. WASHING INVOLVES (insert crazy woman flailing her arms around in search of the right word) WASHING. LIKE WASHING. TO MAKE CLEAN. NOT TO MAKE WET. YOU GOT YOUR FACE WET.  Didn't we take you to a doctor who gave you products with which to wash your face. Who demonstrated exactly how you were to do it. What you did was RINSE YOUR FUCKING FACE NOT WASH IT. Now the computer is mine. I heard it fall. We just spent all this money on a computer for you and I didn't want to get a laptop for you because I was afraid you would FUCKING DROP IT. So now it's mine. Now go upstairs and take A FUCKING SHOWER. And not in my bathroom!!!
Tom. ( insert Tommy realizing he's pushed his mom too far and she already gone round the bend.) Okay mom. Here you go.

I think the only reason he's still alive is that he was standing on the stairs holding the laptop. If I hadn't wanted to salvage the laptop I think I would have happily pushed him down backwards.

2) Jason is watching E.T. for the first time and Dan and I are in the kitchen next to where he's watching and this little exchange happened between Jason and Dan.

Jason: What's so important about E.T.'s finger?

Dan: It's his energy interface.

Jason: ok, thanks.

me: (slowly banging my head against the table)

Thursday, August 30, 2012

10 Things Thursday

I swear one of these days I'll really get back to blogging - I do so love it!!!

1) I am not getting enough sleep. I think it’s because I’m leading a double life and it’s beginning to catch up with me. But being a secret agent for a double super secret government agency is really fun.



2) My 11 year old has survived his first three days of school. There has been plenty of vomiting and tears, but I each day was better than the last. This morning went like this… he had a nightmare at 4am and didn't go back to sleep. He threw up once before getting in the shower, had me pull over so he could catch his breath on the way in, but got out of the car saying he was in a good place… Sigh.


3) My 14 year old was AMAZINGLY pissed this morning because his alarm didn’t go off and he had me waking him up instead. Pointing out that he failed to set the alarm didn’t calm him down one little bit.


4) The B@ltim*re C*mic*n, that Dan helps run, is in a touch more than a week. It occurred to me yesterday that we are doing much better this year than in past years as I only want to bash his head in about 50% of the time this year which is significantly down from previous years. I think just backing away and letting him do his own thing really helped.

5) A month from now I’ll be in Chicago and I am so excited about it. I can’t wait to be with all my friends – to actually sit and play with them!! I’m sort of a little giddy about it.


6) In three weeks my bff (she’ll hate that) Farrah is coming to visit for a long weekend and I am so excited. She’s leaving her kids at home and I’m taking off work and I have no idea what we’ll do. For all you out there in cyberspace – I met her online and we’ve been friends for more than five years and it was only a year ago that I met her for the first time. I headed out to her house in WY (which is a long way from MD) and was instantly “at home”. I think she is why Chicago wasn’t so much of a big deal to me last year – well that and I already loved all of you too!


7) I love the word squirmy.


8) I recently learned that one of my friends from high school lives approximately 10 minutes from me and plays his bass regularly on Tuesdays at a local open mic night. So this week me and a friend went and joined him and his wife and watched him play for a little bit. It was so fun to just jump right back in as if the last 400 years hadn’t passed. His wife treated me as if she too had known me since high school; it was kind of sweet, funny, and odd at the same time. I very much liked her – though it was a table full of introverts who don’t talk a lot… but we all did just fine together.


9) I wanted to buy some Mylanta and hair color today online – cuz I think those two things go together for some reason – and the first three places I went to had no Mylanta in stock… what’s that about?


10) I am afraid of refried beans. I don’t know why, but it’s true.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

FALL the new F-word...

Little factual background:  Jason has suffered with anxiety issues for the last three plus years.  Some days it’s better than others.  He saw a therapist a year or two ago and we found that extremely helpful and he had a very good time in the last 18 months or so.  But as the end of school neared – which meant the end of elementary school and middle school looming in the fall – it’s all started back up again, which we predicted – only this time it’s on steroids. 

We got him back in therapy with the same person he connected with so well last time though he’s fighting it tooth and nail.  And we have an appointment next week with a psychiatrist to look into putting him on some sort of medication at least while this very acute part of his anxiety is raging.


Anyway…


So it’s Friday morning and I’m driving Jason to camp.  This has been touch and go all summer depending on where he is on the anxiety scale.  He’s clawed himself up from the depths of the hole he was in a couple of weeks ago, thankfully and each day he seems a little better.  On this particular day he was back to his normal funny, snarky self.  All was right in the world and he packed his lunch and got his pool bag ready and off we went. 

I was digging for something in my purse at a light and all but threw my purse on his lap when the light turned green and this caused him to inadvertently hit something in his Eden game on his iTouch.  Somehow he hit TNT and blew up the ladders in the pool he’d just painstakingly created.  This started a hilarious conversation about just how much of a national disaster this was. 

Jason: What if President Obama had been in the pool when you made me burn all my bridges down?

Me: uh… I think his upper arm strength would come through for him and he’d still be able to get out.

Jason: no way, because there were assassins there and they would just keep kicking him to keep him in the pool.  Really this could be a national disaster.

Me: uh.. I feel pretty confident that the secret service would put and end to the kicking assassins.

Jason: no, because they would kill the secret service guys

Me: nope.  The secret service would kill the bad guys.

Jason’s plan got bigger and bigger and involved the assassins going back in time and bringing Albert Einstein to current day and having him invent a miniature tank that could be added like a poison to a member of the Secret Service’s food so they would ingest the tank and then it would expand to normal size, killing the agent and providing great protection against the rest of the Secret Service.  I, of course, maintained that if the Secret Service saw Albert Einstein walking around they would kill him as it would be too out of the ordinary and they would know a plot was at hand.

The point is there was much laughing and frivolity going on throughout the drive to camp up to the point where, about 300 yards before the turn into camp, we passed a long row of trees that are turning fall colors already and I said – omg, Jase, look at those poor confused trees, they think it’s already fall.  They already have four different colors going on. 

STOP. THE. HOLY. FUCKING. PRESSES.

I  used the word Fall.  This is a big no no, though I had no idea at the time.  Really I should have been able to anticipate that one – I think of it as a rookie mistake and at this point in time I HATE making rookie mistakes.  But alas…

Jason: Mom, when we get in there please pull into the parking lot and don’t drop me off, I’ve got to talk to you.

Me: (fuck fuck fuck fuck this is never a good sign) ok sweetheart.

Jason: (crying) I can’t do it.  I can’t go.  I’m worried about the bus ride.  Talking about those trees made me think about school and I’m all worried about school and I can’t get it out of my head.

Me: (fuck fuck fuck fuck sticking a fork firmly in my eye) – okay baby, we can do this.  We just need to … blah blah blah….

I got him calmed down enough to go to camp and get on the bus to go swimming.  Phew!

But then….

It’s his second appointment with the therapist and he does not want to go.  He was PISSED at the first meeting.  It made it worse, he doesn’t want to talk to anyone else about his feelings (who would?), we are mean for making him go… But this time he got smarter. 

Jason: Mom, I am afraid of Dr. L. 

Me: afraid?  (he already saw him very successfully and we have several friends whose children have seen the same man over the years very successfully).  Don’t worry, I’ll be right outside.  I know it’s hard, but I know you can do it.

Jason: no, he really creeps me out.  I’m afraid he’s going to hurt me.

Me: (oh Jase, you are a clever one).  He’s not going to hurt you.  He helped you last time.  He helped our friends.  Daddy and I would never take you anywhere unsafe and I’ll be right outside the whole time.

This went on for the entire drive there with him crying constantly.  At some point he realized I was taking him anyway and asked me if I thought he should tell Dr. L that he thought he was creepy.  I told him he certainly could tell him that, he could tell him anything he wanted to, but he didn’t have to share it if he didn’t want to.

The appointment required that I be in the room with him as he could not get himself together without that which was fine of course and Dr. L is very good at what he does and got the crying and incoherent Jason calmed down and willing by the end.  In hindsight it was probably good that the good doctor got to see him like that as it’s not an unusual state for him this summer.

We get in the car afterwards and in about 3 seconds Jason was back to being his normal happy self.  I, on the other hand, was traumatized by the entire experience and wanted a lot of vodka.

I learned that Fall is a very, very bad word and will never be uttered again in.



But then cut to Monday….

Jason’s a little iffy in the morning.  I get his lunch ready to go and he’s ok, but subdued on the drive over.  Until we pass the same fucking trees.

Note to self – go the long way to camp, you idiot!!!  Another rookie mistake.

Jason: MOM!  PULL OVER NOW!

Oh fuck.  I get us pulled over and he’s out and on his hands and knees in a flash where he soon throws up.  Great – I’m so excited.  We were so close to camp again. 

Jason: Wow!  I feel GREAT!!!  Man I so needed to do that.  It was like a ball in the pit of my stomach all morning.  Let’s go.  It’s Olympic week and I don’t want to be late. 

Again, I’m thinking I need more vodka.

Today we went the long way and didn’t see a single non-green leaf.  There were no issues and Jason couldn’t wait to get there again.

No idea what tomorrow will bring.

Monday, June 25, 2012

Normal (sort of) family things...

A little Jase-ism

The beginnings of a text thread between me and my 11 year old.

Me: Hello my little minion, how are you? (I was about to have him do some laundry for me).

Jason: Fine, my big master. (I swear that still makes me laugh!! God I love this kid)

 
Just another evening….

Dan’s away and he texts me at 7pm on Sunday night that he’s boarding soon and asks me to find khaki shorts for Jason so they can all go golfing at 8am the next morning. Uh… sure, except I’m not home and this seems just a touch late to make sure he has clothes for the place you’re taking him on Monday morning. (not to mention I’m nearly sure the boy doesn’t have any golf appropriate clothes – he lives in gym shorts). So I get home at about 8:30 and go searching for golf clothes and sure enough no appropriate bottoms – pants or shorts – to be found. Great.

I let my fingers do the walking… er typing… and discover Ta*rget is opened until 10pm – Bless them. At 9:07 Jack and I race out the door, thankful we don’t live in Rawlins where Target wouldn’t be an option… though I guess neither would golf…, get to Target and try on the Large size shorts and they are too tight for Jason so we grab up the extra large, which are going to be too long on him, but whatever. (he’s in the I’m about to grow stage so his middle is a little bigger than normal). And are out of Target inside of 10 minutes.

This morning when he put the shorts on for the first time – I swear they are really Capri pants on the boy. Sigh. I rolled them up a few times and off they went.

 Educational TV

So… Jason and I get back from the store and Tom is watching the movie Dodge ball. I’m pretty sure Jason shouldn’t watch this after about 30 seconds. I don’t care so much about that kind of thing for Tom who’s heading into high school in the fall – but I have him turn it off and he switches it to Avatar and they watch that until it’s time for Jason to go to bed. Dan’s home by this time and puts him to bed. As soon as he’s gone Tom turns Dodge ball back on… whatever, it’s near the end.

We watch the end of the movie and there is a little chemistry between two of the characters and after they win the big prize (sorry if I just ruined the movie for you) the man and woman, Peter and Kate, are sort of flirting with each other in a way that seems pretty clear they are about to finally kiss and head off happily ever after when a new woman, Gwen, emerges from the crowd. Kate is thrilled beyond belief to see Kate and they embrace and passionately kiss… seriously passionately. (this was really fun to watch with my nearly 14 year old son sitting across the way).

Then one of the other men says to Peter “see, I told you she was a lesbian!” And Kate turns around and says “I’m not a lesbian, I’m bisexual!! And proceeds to go over and kiss Peter just as passionately.

Yup – this was a great little educational program to watch with Tom. Who just looked at me and burst out laughing and went up to bed. What he did behind his closed door – I do not want to contemplate.


A couple of pictures - first, all three boys...


Then Jason in action



Friday, June 22, 2012

Friday's Letters Link Up

Let me first just say - that I LOVE LOVE LOVE this!!!  Genius!


Dear Chic-Fil-A oreo shake – Just because it was 103 degrees as I sat and watched my kids at rugby practice, just because rivers of sweat were streaming down my body, just because I was starving is no reason at all to be beckoning me like a siren beckons a sailor who’s been at sea too long.








Dear back – I am truly tired of you causing me problems. I appreciate stress and extra weight are both contributing factors and I have some control over both of them, but seriously – do you really think you are helping me reduce my stress level by causing me to not be able to bend or twist or lift a damn thing and do you think you are helping me lose weight by not allowing me to even walk on a treadmill? If we could just work together I think everything would be a hell of a lot smoother.





Dear zit on the tip of my nose – Seriously!?! I’ve got a nearly 14 year old just down the hall, please go visit him. That is all.





Dear closet – if you could just magically clean and organize yourself, I would really appreciate it. I would even be willing to add pretty decorations to you if you’d like.





Dear nearly 14 year old – if you could be so kind as to check your teenage attitude at the door from time to time, it would be really helpful. Especially to your father who seems to forget what a good kid you are sometimes. I remain very blessed by who you are as a person and thrilled that you are bigger and stronger than I am as you never cease to grow tired of reminding me. It just means that I never have to lift another remotely heavy thing as long as you are within earshot for the rest of my life. So, really, I’m good with that.



Dear 11 ½ year old – While I am thrilled to pieces by the strides you continue to make in getting more comfortable being out of your parent’s presence, it would make me even happier if you’d get even more comfortable there. I’d really like it if the transition to middle school wasn’t going to be the tear filled nightmare I’m envisioning it to be. That said – I am also thrilled with the person you are turning out to be. And the fact that you want to keep up with your brother and carry heavy things for me too – also totally works for me.

How about a little picture of the children from last week on vacation - aren't they cute!!!



Monday, June 18, 2012

My childen.... sigh.

Hi all!!

I've been on vacation and before that I was getting ready for vacation - I'm back now and can get back to real life.

First of all..... Jason.  He didn't want to go to the camp where Tom is a junior counselor again this year so he elected to stay home as we refused to drive him to his preferred camp - thus having to drive to two different places in opposite directions twice a day for two weeks.  Dan is not traveling this week so he's here with Jason.  Today is the first day he was at home instead of school or camp, and this is the conversation he and I had when I got home from work.

Jason: Mom!  I've blown through my old record.
Me: that's great babe.  What record?
J: of watching TV
M: uh... huh?
J (excitedly): yeah, my record was 8 hours.
M: uh... WHAT?
J: yeah!  today I watched 10 hours in a row. (he was very proud)
M: this is not something to be proud of, child!
J: oh, sorry.
M: Can you guess what I'm going to say now?
J: uh, nope.
M: TURN THE FRIKKIN' TV OFF RIGHT NOW!!!!
J: When can I watch TV again?
M: three days.


Then there's Tom.  We were on a sunset dolphin cruise on vacation and the captain let all the kids "drive" the boat from the 2 year olds up to Jason and a couple of girls about his age (11/12).  He ignored Tom which was just fine with Tom as he's too cool for school these days.  After a while the captain called Tommy up to drive.  He'd waited until he wanted to tell us about some stuff thinking Tom would be able to handle it well enough for a while - which he certainly could.  But as Tommy sauntered (really the only word for it) up to the wheel, the captain said to me "Let me guess... 16?"  And I burst out laughing... uh, no.  He wishes he was 16, he's only 13.  He's awfully broad for 13.  Yes, yes he is.

When we got home - after countless alligator sightings, playing with all manner of wild things - alligators, birds, snakes, turtles, etc, watching dolphins play in the wake of the boat, amazing pools, rays flying around him in the gulf, and countless other things... when asked what his favorite thing about vacation was - without a second's hesitation "when Captain Dwight called me 16."

sigh.


A friend of mine and I decided to get a little more serious about weight loss starting today.  I had a pretty good day, it could have been better but it wasn't too bad at all.  I threw my back out a couple of weeks ago and it's still healing so I can't really exercise more than a leisurely walk at the moment, but that will come soon.

Friday, June 1, 2012

BYOC

It’s time for Drazil’s Bring Your Own Crazy!! We answer 5 questions to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break.






1. Are you a daily purse switcher, an often purse buyer or a one purse kind of woman? What factors influence your purse buying?



I don’t change every day at all. I do have a little addiction with cute, very small purses. Day to day I usually have a big purse in which I can pack water bottles and snacks or jackets for practices or games. After a while I’ll get board with whatever I’ve been carrying for a while and I’ll switch to something else. I own a few that I’ve never used that I bought because they were cute and I was in a purse kind of mood – but then I haven’t have had the right set of circumstances come up for me to actually use them.



I always change my purse when I’m going out somewhere special – this is where my cute little purses come into play. I am always always always on the hunt for new cute little purses. Sometimes I’ll buy and outfit because I haven’t yet had the chance to use one of my cute little purses.



I am cheap, though, when it comes to purses. I think I once spent $75 on a purse and I LOVE that purse – but it still really bothers me that I spent that much because normally I would never spend more than $25 or $30 for a purse of any size. I can’t imagine ever in a million years spending hundreds of dollars on a bag I put shit in – but that’s just me. Though if I do it will be on something very small and very cute, never on something bigger I’d use every day.



2. What’s your favorite board game?



I like things like the ungame where you are asking and answering questions about stuff.



3. Are you a sore loser who throws fits or a gracious winner? Are you competitive?



In a few things I’m competitive, but in most things I’m not at all. I am competitive in miniature golf, for instance. I don’t bet on things unless I know I’ll win. So, if I ever say to you, I’ll bet you a buck this or that is true, you can be sure I’m completely confident of the answer.



I think I have a big competitive nature buried deep inside me and if it ever got out it could be a scary thing, so I think I’ll keep it buried for now.



4. Tell us something you are afraid of that is a physical item…like spiders, deep water, heights, snakes, thunderstorms, first dates, childbirth, etc.



Bears and alligators. We’re headed to Florida in a couple of weeks and are planning a day trip to the everglades. My wonderful 11 year old has been regaling me with news stories he’s making up about the fights that keep breaking out where we’re going in Florida between bears and alligators. How usually people aren’t killed. He’s such a loving boy.



5. Repeat question: Summarize your week.



it’s been a fine but busy week. Jason had a concert on Wednesday night – that’s two and a half hours I’ll never get back. Tom had his first playoff baseball game and no one played well at all, but his team won so that was good. Tonight I’m going to a friend’s son’s game so she and I can get drunk in the stands. We’ve got soccer, football, and more playoff baseball this weekend as well as a gala for our county’s domestic violence center that my sister happens to be the chair of the board for. She’s been a big ball of stress for the last few weeks, so I’ll be offering her whatever help she may want on Saturday towards that end. Next week is the last week of school and I’m not sure if that’s good or bad – but it is what it is.



Thursday, May 31, 2012

Getting rid of the clutter...


A friend sent me a link to a blog that had an article entitled Two Lists You Should Look at Every Morning and it was SUCH a fantastic post!

The two lists that everyone should look at each morning according to the author are as follows;

List 1: Your Focus List (the road ahead)
What are you trying to achieve? What makes you happy? What's important to you? Design your time around those things. Because time is your one limited resource and no matter how hard you try you can't work 25/8.

(I so love the idea of not being able to work 25/8 – I love clever people)

List 2: Your Ignore List (the distractions)
To succeed in using your time wisely, you have to ask the equally important but often avoided complementary questions: what are you willing not to achieve? What doesn't make you happy? What's not important to you? What gets in the way?

I know for me – several things popped into my head for the first one, the Focus List. It’s just not that hard to think of things that I want, or that are important to me, or that make me happy. But the second one… now there’s the rub. What are the distractions? How do you define that? I guess if you narrow down the first list clearly enough the second list becomes more apparent… what do you think?

I'm all about getting rid of the clutter - I am not a hoarder (well.. craft supplies notwithstanding) and love to throw things away - but I can't say I've ever really thought about it in terms of the things I'm striving for... the things I should be focusing on... the truly important things... I'm usually thinking about the contents of a closet or a drawer.

I’m planning on seriously trying to come up with these lists and keeping them active and fluid and relevant for me.  I challenge all of you to do the same. 

What are you trying to achieve?  What makes you happy?  What's important to you?


Here’s the link for the full post which does a much better job of talking about this;
Have a great day!!
http://blogs.hbr.org/bregman/2009/05/two-lists-you-should-look-at-e.html?awid=9096134605609987456-3271

Friday, May 25, 2012

BYOC

Drazil's BYOC is 5 little questions we answer to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break!  Come join us & enjoy!!

1.  Tell me about your first childhood home that you remember.

um... well... I have a very poor memory for all things childhood.  I lived in my grandma's house for the first 6 months of my life and I know it like the back of my hand - on the water in Annapolis where I spent much of my childhood.  It's where I learned to sail and to fish.  My great grandparents built the house and it is a lovely, wonderful place with ivy to hide marbles in for restless grandchildren, and haunted boiler rooms in the basement, and sunfish (the kind one person can throw in the water and sail on) in the shed, and these awful round burr things that fell from this huge tree that I stepped on more than I can possibly remember.  Of course I really only remember this from being much older - but... whatever

2.  What is hands down your favorite color on this Earth?

Orange.  I love it.

3.  What kind of hair do you prefer on your significant other?  Or what kind of hair is a turn on to you?

um... I can't say I have ever in my life thought about this.  I think people should have hair that goes with who they are.  Short and business like can be great, long and untamed can be great.  I hate hate hate long stringy hair - on men or women but even more on men.  My favorite hair on a male at the moment is the hair on my son Tommy.  He has my curls, but much, much thicker hair.  Right now it's too long, but I love him with longish hair and that's not usually the case, especially on kids, but on him I LOVE IT!!  He showers at night and then goes to sleep with wet hair - he wakes up with this crazy, wild, mess that suits him to a tee!

 4.  Now that it's summer...do you mow your lawn or does someone else?  How long does it take you?  Do you hate or love doing it?

either Dan mows the lawn or we hire a neighbor kid to do it, though I suspect we'll get Tom to do it this year. (though he may very well be too much of a space cadet to be trusted with something that could cut him... ).  I love to mow a lawn but it is this zen thing for Dan and he's always desperately wanted to do it, so I don't make too much of a fuss about it - except sometimes.  He puts his earbuds in and listens to some podcast or another and totally forgets the rest of the world.  It takes him a couple of hours to do it.

5.  Repeat question:  Summarize your week.

 It was just a week.  Jason participated in the annual 5th grade thing we do here in our county called simulated congressional hearings - or SCH for short.  Each group of 4 5th graders studies a topic, Jason's group's was freedom of speech and freedom of the press and they prepare a prepared 4 minute statement about their topic.  They then come and "testify" before "congress" and a 3 person panel of local politicians and other important people (Jason's panel was the State congressional representative for our district, the chief Circuit Court judge for our county, and a man from the Board of Education) have them put their statement and notes away and ask them questions about their topic (one question was - do you think the internet should be limited?) and then they give the kids good, solid, feedback.  The kids work hard for this end of elementary school event and have to come dressed in business attire as if they are truly testifying before congress.  It's just one of the many reasons I love our school system where we live.

 Then last night Tommy's baseball team was in a single playoff game to determine the winner of the regular season and they won 3-2 in a nail biter. It was killer to watch but so much fun to watch how excited all the boys were!! Have a SAFE holiday weekend!!!

Friday, May 18, 2012

BYOC - Bring your own crazy!!!

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Anyone know what day it is? I don’t have to tell you – do I? Fine. Fine. It’s FRIDAY!!! That means it’s time for Drazil's BYOC – Bring Your Own Crazy! We answer five little questions to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break. Copy to your own blog and enjoy!!


1. What religion were you raised as a child, if any, and are you still a member of that faith today? Why or why not?

Mostly I was raised Episcopal.  I do still consider myself Episcopalian, but I don’t so much go to church.  I’m pretty religious – but it’s very personal to me.  I’ve taught my kids the big things that I think are important about God, but I’ve absolutely done them a disservice because they don’t know a fair amount of the basic bible knowledge that is just about common knowledge in the world… like who Adam and Eve, and Cain and Able are… that kind of thing… I’m trying to change that basic knowledge stuff now.
I’ve said before that I really think all the organized religions are all just different flavors of the same thing.  There are good and bad in all of them.  For me the important stuff is your own relationship with God and faith.  The rest is just window dressing.

2. Do you have an all time favorite candy or do you change favorites often?

AT the moment I’m kind of unhealthily addicted to Nestles crunch crisp bars.  OMG.  That’s is really all I can say…. Just OMG.

3. Are you a green thumb? Do you landscape your yard or plant any flowers or a garden? Do you pay someone to do it for you? Do you not plant a single thing?

Well…  we paid someone to put in the gardens I envisioned.  I love beautiful gardens but really – I need to be independently wealthy so I can have the cabana boy double as the gardener – oh um. Wait – that’s stupid right?  I want a cabana boy and a gardener and a pool boy… aah, yes.. ok.. I digress.
I HATE to garden.  I desperately wish I was someone for whom gardening was a soothing and relaxing thing but… it’s just a sweaty pain in the ass.  And the look of my once pretty garden is proof of that.

4. Let’s just say you were a tattoo junkie and you were planning your next tat and it had to be words only. What words would you choose? A quote? Phrase? One word? Would you do it in English or a different language?

Well… I don’t know exactly – but it would have to be something very personal and very meaningful just to me.  And then… it would depend on what it was as to whether or not I wanted to keep it personal – and put it in a different language – or yell it boldly to the world.  I guess that doesn’t really help, now does it, Draz?

5. Repeat question: Summarize your week.

This week has not been my favorite.  I had a PITA mother’s day and continue to wrestle with big emotional things in my life.   I’m worried about Jason and his future transitions.  I’m worried about Tom and his transition into highfuckingschool.
I did have a much needed bright spot this week on Wednesday when I was reminded of happier things.  I have the day off today and I’m heading to the Science Center with Jason and another mother and son I really like, so that will be fun.  My birthday is on Sunday and I’m not at all looking forward to it, though I am looking forward to going out with my friend Jamie – I know that will be fun!!

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Ten Things Thursday!!!

From the infamous Laura Belle - it's 10 things Thursday time.  I don't think I've ever done one as I've been a shitty blogger since she first had this brilliant idea.  One of these days that will change.

1) I am almost getting the hang of the new blogger.  I don't hate it quite as much as I did at first, but that's only because most of the time I can, in fact, get it to do whatever the fuck I want it to do - so that's made me happier.  It's not easy or anything like that yet, but at least I can manage to get things posted when I want to.

2) I did not enjoy mother's day this year.  That is all.

3) My 11 year old is already stressed about his upcoming transition to middle school.  I am not looking forward to the next several months.

4) I recently noticed that my 13 year old son now has a happy trail, then I threw up a little in my mouth.

5) I am already looking forward to Chicago.  I have a countdown thingy on my phone and right now it says that there are only 133 days until I land!!!

6) I want to know what the future holds.  And I want to know right now.  Who can make that happen for me??

7) My husband has been a total rock star in the getting healthy department.  He got some scary test results and the doctor gave him 3 months to get his shit together and he started walking on the treadmill every single morning and following weight watchers and in 4 months or so he's lost more than 30 lbs and all his test results are now normal.  I think since he started, he's skipped less than 5 days on the treadmill.  It's all about doing it.  I'm very proud of him.

8)  I have learned that being stressed makes me not eat.  It used to be that being stressed made me eat, but that seems to have switched.  I can't tell you how grateful I am for this little fact.

9) I have the best friends in all the world.  Some are close by...  Some live seriously in the middle of no where.  Then there are the kittens.... You know who you are - stand up and take a bow.

10) Farrah is wonderful.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

New Orleans' blogger

Okay - so I'm very forgetful!  It's true.  I'm old, what can I say?  I'm heading down to NOLA for JazzFest on Thursday.  I'll be there through Sunday.  I talked to a lovely blogger who is considering coming to BOOBs for the first time this year and for the life of me I can't find her email anymore and I can not remember which blog is hers. 

So... if this is you - please contact me.  I'd still love to hook up with you while I'm down there.

Sorry I'm such a spaz!!!

Friday, April 20, 2012

BYOC!!! Bring Your Own Crazy!!

It’s Friday – so it’s time for Drazil’s


BYOC – Bring Your Own Crazy!

We answer 5 questions to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break! Copy to your own blog and enjoy!





1. Do you have any siblings? What is your relationship with them? Good, bad, ugly?



I have one sister who is two years younger than I. We get along very well and only live about 15 minutes from each other. She has the two most beautiful girls in all the world – in fact here’s a picture! Some relative gave the girls these dresses and my sister told them – you can’t wear those, you have to be under six years old to want to wear such a cutesy dress. (they are 8 and 10). But being related to both of us, they had to put them on and mug for the cameras – and if that’s not one of the cutest pictures ever, I don’t know what is.





2. Let’s talk pizza. Do you prefer homemade or restaurant? What toppings are your fave?



um… homemade? What is this that you speak of??? I’m confused.



I like tomatoes and onions on my pizza, I also like sausage and white pizza with pesto sauce.



3. When is the last time you cried – in sadness and in joy?



Jeez. I’m really not a crier. But there are certainly things in my life that I cry over occasionally.



4. Do you own a gun – one that is specifically yours? Do you know how to use it?



I do not have a gun, nor have I ever shot one, though learning to shoot is definitely something on my wish list. I think I have an unhealthy fear of guns and I’d like to get over the fear of them and be left with the healthy respect they are due.



5. Repeat question. Summarize your week!



My week has been busy as always… Tommy went 4 for 5 in his baseball game last night and on the one strike out he did have he stole first. He was over the moon with how well he did and well that’s a lovely thing to see.



Tonight we’re going to party… and this is what it’s called:



3rd semi bi tri occasionally annual Post Easter Peep Roast 4/20 any time after 6pm.



We’re going to be roasting and otherwise trying to destroy old, stale peeps. Do I have fun friends or what?!?!



Tomorrow Tommy has an 8am baseball game, Jason has a 2pm flag football game, and Tom has a 5pm soccer game. It’s supposed to rain so I’m not sure what we will or won’t actually get in. Unfortunately for the parents, the soccer fields are turf so the likelihood of that being canceled is almost zip!



On Sunday we’re going down to DC to see a play a friend of ours is in – I think it is somehow about Spiderman, but that’s all I know.



I hope everyone has a great week!!

Monday, April 16, 2012

What is different for you?


Hi all. 
I am a lousy bandster and it shows in the 15 lbs I’ve gained in the last few months.  I’ve never had an easy time with my band, but I don’t blame my band – it certainly doesn’t make me want to run out and have more surgery as seems to be the trend when someone has a hard time lately.  I blame me.  Let me say, I know a few people who had legitimate problems with their bands and honest to god needed medical intervention and I am sorry they had to go through another surgery, but am happy there were options out there for them.  I don’t think that explains this larger….. interest out there in revision surgery – but that’s a whole other story.
I still believe my band is a wonderful tool designed to help me lose weight, but I just haven’t figured out how to use it yet.  After my last fill/overfill/unfill event where I ended up .25cc more filled – I can now eat absolutely anything; bagels and eggs in the morning through French fries in the evening.  (I’ve not been gorging on these things at all, but I have tested them all out because it seemed even the couple of dietary limitations I had were gone and they are.)
I am a believer that ideally with the band there wouldn’t be foods you ‘couldn’t’ eat, but I also believe there is something I still haven’t figured out.  When I have been overfilled, I can feel a definite difference about my thoughts about food. I am just not as hungry, and I just don’t think about food in the same way, or as often.  I haven’t yet found that when I am able to eat solid food.
I asked some of my friends what it means when they say – you have to “work your band” or “use your band”.  And the answer I got was it means you have to listen to your body.  That when you have a band your body will tell you when it’s time to stop eating and you have to learn to hear how your body communicates and when your body is talking to you – and then you have to learn to listen and stop eating at that point – even if you want to keep eating.
So… now I’m asking my broader group of friends… I know it’s different for every person, but I am clearly missing something.  I want to understand better what is different now than before I got my band other than the scars on my stomach. 
How do you use your band?  How to you work your band?  Are your thoughts on this different than then the first answers I’ve gotten?  How does your body communicate to you?  What does your body tell you?
Thanks in advance for your feedback and I hope you all have a great week!!

Friday, April 13, 2012

BYOC!!! Bring Your Own Crazy!!

It’s Friday! That means it’s time for Drazil's BYOC. Bring Your Own Crazy! We answer 5 questions in an effort to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break! Copy to your own blog and enjoy!

1. Whether you’re a parent or not….what do you think the appropriate age is to talk to a child about “the birds and the bees”?


Well… Actually I like the idea of younger… 10ish.  Though that only happened with one of my kids.  I am a firm believer in answering any question that is asked and letting the child direct their learning on this subject – however… again – that only worked with one of mine.

Picture this…. I’m flat on my back laying on ice having thrown my back out slipping on the ice when my then 10 year old oldest son comes into my bedroom and locks the door and says;

Mom, I keep hearing on the radio that parents should be talking to their kids about sex; let’s talk.

Me: (while not passing out) okay, sure.
(I was IMing with my friend Farrah at the time and I’m sure I said something like – holy fucking mother of god, I am not ready for this at the moment.

I started with… ok, well do you know what the word sex means? – nope, he tells me.  So I described in clinical terms what it meant and then… my lovely and extraordinarily inquisitive child (this and his looks are the only things he got from me) proceeded to ask me more and more specific and pointed questions for the next 45 minutes.  He kept asking more and more follow up questions to understand every damn thing; up to and including how the menstrual cycle works with respect to timing a pregnancy.

The whole time I was dying inside but maintained an air of … ‘this is a perfectly normal conversation to be having’ on the outside.  Finally I had enough though when he asked me;

“so, how does it feel when the penis goes in and out and in and out of the vagina?”  I was totally cooked by that point and said; “I don’t have one honey, so you’ll have to ask daddy that question.  I know it feels good, but beyond that, I just don’t know.”  (can we say… pass the buck)

Then… poor husband who is putting child B to bed is blind sided by the eager 10 year old.  Dad, I have a question for you that Jason is too young to hear.  Dan hears the question and comes into our room and closes and locks the door… hey wait, this feels familiar.  WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN TELLING THAT CHILD!?!?

Tom had follow up questions for me the next day that included… “exactly what position are the man and the woman in when the penis is in the vagina?”  This was as I was driving the boy to school and luckily I did not drive off the side of the road.  Flashing through my brain were all the possible answers to that question when I finally gave myself a mental bitch-slap and described the missionary position thinking - he’s on his own for the rest of them!!

2. What’s the color scheme in your bedroom?

As is true in my entire house – green (sage-y in this case), red (burgundy in this case) and yellow (more a … deep, brown-y yellow in this case).
3. What kind of shampoo and conditioner do you use on your hair?


I use Deva products for curly hair and I love them!!.
4. And since it’s nearly summer time…do you paint your own toes, go some place for pedicures or not paint your toes at all? What’s your fave toe color?

My toes are always painted and I love a good pedicure, but often do it myself because I never get around to making an appointment.  I painted mine just the other day a very crayola type purple.  I am a little crazier on my toes than my fingers – but still not all that crazy – I don’t do blues or greens, so it’s usually hot pink, or red, or orange or purple.
5. Repeat question: Summarize your week!

It’s been a good week for the most part.  I’ve watched some friends go through some hard times and that’s been hard to do from afar.  We were very hectic this week with Dan gone for three days and having some sort of sports practice each night.  The weekend only continues… baseball game tonight at 5, then another one tomorrow at 8am, flag football at 2:30 and we’re skipping Tom’s 5pm soccer game and he’s going to the Wizard’s basketball game.  There’s talk now that we’ll all be going, but am not yet sure about that one.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

THREE things for a Saturday...

So... thing number ONE.

I went and picked up my 13 year old from two hours of soccer practice today.

T: will you put the top down? (he likes to have it down in front of his friends)
Me: No
T: Oh man, why not?
Me: It's 59 degrees (which is almost doable but damn cold if you have to be on a highway which we did).
T: whine, whine, whine
Me: Stop it now.
T: yes ma'am. (he's a very smart boy)

But then...  Oh. My. God.  That boy smelled AWFUL!  I mean, truly, truly awful.  It was stunning!  I couldn't take a full breath without wanting to die.

Me: Good God, you smell awful.
T: (with the sweetest, most proud smile he has) yeah, I know.
Me: OMG
Very erratically I pulled the car to the side of the road and put the top down.

Never in my life, have I been so happy to own a convertible. 



Thing number TWO

Band the wonder dog strikes again.

The idiot dog is outside barking his head off which, as we all know is not an unusual thing, and he's totally ignoring my calls from the window (which works about half of the time).

I head downstairs to get him inside.  He ignores me when I call from the slider in the kitchen (that works 90% of the time).  Did I mention I hate my dog?  I go out to the railing of the deck to see what he's barking at and I'm treated to my mean little dog doing battle with a little garter snake.  He kept grabbing the poor snake and whipping it ferociously back and forth.  Unfortunately, by the time I'd gotten out there he'd totally beaten the thing into submission as there was blood and guts being whipped around as well.  It was really delightful.  I'm so happy to own this dog, have I mentioned that lately.  Every few seconds he'd pounce on the thing that was now just about in two pieces and start whipping it back and forth again before releasing it and jumping back out of the way.  Again and again he did this until there were seemingly two snakes.  ICK!!!

I will say this is only the second time I can remember that Band managed to do something disgusting while the husband was home - so I can thank him for that as I was able to get Dan to come down and get rid of the dead and bloody snake pieces while I took the idiot dog in for a bath so we could wash the snake blood and guts off of him.

So... how has your morning been?

Here are some pictures for your viewing pleasure...


The best picture we could get of the blood on the stupid dog's back


Thing number THREE

Husband is cleaning out his closet.  This is LONG overdue.  Last weekend he took out all non-clothes items.  It took hours.  He has a nice sized closet, but it's not all that huge.  He bagged up 12 pairs of tennis shoes to give away, kept two as back ups (not the normal ones he wears, just back ups) and threw two pairs away.  And that was just tennis shoes.  Also in there were dolls action figures, presents we hadn't given the boys, books, comic books, and just all manner of other things.  There ended up being three large trash bags full of give aways from the first weekend.

Today he's working on his shirts clothes.  He has filled four large trash bags full of shirts he no longer wears - let me repeat that.  FOUR LARGE BAGS of shirts to give away.  (I'm still shaking my head).  It's sort of watching one of those little cars where a million clowns all pile out.  Every time I think he has to be done he pulls out more - it's just crazy.

After he got rid of the four bags of shirts (that makes seven LARGE bags to be given away - seven!) there were still so many shirts left it was ridiculous.  I swear he has enough to not have to do laundry for at least three months.

Some more pictures... of the shirts he is keeping!  This does not include the ones he gave away.  My husband is a pack rat.



Friday, March 30, 2012

BYOC!!! Bring Your Own Crazy!!

1. If you believe in a God - who or what form does it take? Person or thing? He or she? None of the above?




I absolutely believe in God and have a very deep and unshakable faith. God to me, though, is everything. God is nature, God is man, God is woman, God is most definitely children. If I see a beautiful sunset or an amazing storm, or the wind whipping the fall leaves around in a really cool way, I thank God. As I sit here thinking about it, I think I most often use masculine pronouns when referring to God, but I think that’s because that’s what most people use and why bother having a stupid conversation about whether it’s a man or a woman or whatever. I absolutely believe that I don’t know God’s plan, but I utterly trust in it. When awful, terrible things happen in the world, I believe to the bottom of my feet that there is a reason – a higher purpose to the tragedy. I can’t live without that complete belief. I also (and I hope this doesn’t offend anyone) totally believe we’re all of the same faith and that the varying religions are all just flavors. I am a born again Christian, I do believe God sent his son down to save me… as in me personally – BUT most other born again Christian’s wouldn’t take me on a bet because I don’t believe that that belief is in any way shape or form the only path to God. The idea that God would send just one guy down in the Middle East, some two thousand years ago and the whole world has to buy into that one thing or else you get fried – that just doesn’t pass my sniff test. I think God is more flexible and creative than that and has given lots of different people lots of different things they needed and that they could understand to help find him. (see male pronoun – LOL). I trust completely in God’s intelligence to get his message out however works best for any given human or group of humans. (go ahead and throw the stones now at your leisure.)



2. If it were considered socially acceptable - would you stop shaving or waxing?

Um… probably. If it were socially acceptable, I’d assume that means that in general woman wouldn’t be shaving so I can’t imagine I’d start doing something no one else was doing – just for the hell of it – it’s kind of a pita!



3. How often do you weigh yourself? Why?

If I’m in a good head space, I do it every day… naked after I pee and it’s not all that big a deal. If I’m not in a good head space, I avoid it like the plague and that’s a dangerous place for me to be in. (I will not confirm or deny that that is where I am right now.)





4. When was the last time you admitted you were wrong? (Thank you to Joey for this question)



I’d have to say – the last time I was wrong. I don’t have any problem at all admitting I was wrong – oh wait… it was yesterday to a coworker. She thought one thing and I thought another – she was right and when I discovered that she was right, I sent her an email telling her so.



5. Repeat question. How was your week?



My week was pretty good. Very busy, though. My husband was in and out of town, there were field trips and concerts, and going out with friends that all needed to be fit into the schedule. I’m looking forward to doing a fair amount of not nearly as much for a while!

Friday, March 16, 2012

BYOC!!! Bring Your Own Crazy!!

1.  How do you feel about college?  If you have kids or siblings - will you encourage or require them to go?  How long did you go and what for? 

I am very big on college.  I don't think it's a flat requirement to a happy or successful life, but I do think it helps.  One of the things I think my parents did really well is set the expectation that my sister and I were going to college.  It never once occurred to either of us not to go.  They didn't do anything like teach us it was important to study hard or get good grades - but we both went to college and I'm a CPA and she's a lawyer.  I've done my level best instill that same expectation in my own kids. 

2.  Pink or purple?  Coke or Pepsi?  Pen or pencil?  Cursive or printing?  Ketchup or mustard?

Pink
um... Neither - though if I had to choose, I'd pick a diet pepsi.
Both... at work I often print in all caps but if I'm writing something at home - particularly writing for fun, I write in cursive.
definitely ketchup - I truly don't like mustard and generally think it's a mistake.

3.  If you could live in any generation - which one would it be?

I would come of age in the 60s.  I always wanted to live in a commune.

4.  What do you sleep in?

usually in the winter I sleep in sweats and a long sleeve tee as I'm always cold.  In the summer I sleep in a tee shirt and mushy shorts, and sometimes I sleep naked.

5.  Repeat question - summarize your week!

I am on major overload and am really happy that March Madness is here - as I'm planning on sitting in front of the TV and maybe main-lining some vodka... (is that wrong?)

Sunday, March 11, 2012

For my Chicago BOOBs friends...




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Saturday, March 10, 2012

BYOC!!! Bring Your Own Crazy!! on a Saturday

1.  When you're sick - what comforts you?

I like to be warm.  If I could be bundled up under a blanket and be doted on - that would be delightful.  And if the children would not be at all annoying or needy (at least towards me) that would be even better.

2.  How attached to your cell phone are you?


I do love my iphone.  I'm more attached now than I ever have been before.  I text a lot more now than I did a year ago, and I like having access to my email accounts.  And I love that I have a library of books in my pocket and a camera and a timer and an alarm and....   While I am much, much more attached to the little thing, I'm not NEARLY as attached as some people I know.  I just really like having the option.


3.  What brand, color and kind of sneaker do you own to work out in?  Why?  Do you get a custom fit or just pick one off the shelf?
 
I don't really have a particular preference, but the last few pairs I've bought have been Nikes and they've had a pink swoosh.

4.  Do you ever wish you'd picked a different name for your blog and why?


Na... I like my title.  Though I do like the little puns some people have in their titles.

5.  Repeat question.  Summarize your week in real life and in blog land.

Real life has been pretty good.  I can eat again and that's been delightful.  Someday I'm hoping to get all the way over this frikkin' cold.  Basketball is FINALLY over, though baseball practice has already started and soccer and flag football is right around the corner.

Blog land - I'm still loving being more invovled - you all rock!!

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

okay yay...

I got a quarter of a cc out and tonight I was able to drink an ice cold drink - not an option for the last week and while I'm still sticking to mushy foods for a day or so - there's no doubt I can eat much, much more freely.  What a relief.  I even had some chicken - almost without thinking about it.  I'm feeling very hopeful all will be well now!!!

Thank you all so much for your concern, I can't tell you how much I appreciate it!!!

Monday, March 5, 2012

The truth of the matter...

I’m too tight.. again. I’m actually not 100% sure yet, but I’m 95% sure. I have a tendency to swell pretty intensely after all manner of things and I have no doubt that this time the Dr. taking out all the liquid and putting it all in definitely had me more swollen then normal. Hell, I could feel very specifically where the actual band was for the first three days. I can feel it every once in a while but it was pretty sore in that area for a few days.


The day of the fill itself I was able to eat mashed potatoes, which of course I wasn’t supposed to do as I was supposed to only have liquids for two days, but I took it then as a really good sign that I had no problem getting the potatoes down when the last time I was overfilled there would have been no way in hell I could have gotten that down. It was sort of my own personal test because of my fear of being overfilled.


But then… Wednesday happened. At first it was totally user error. I was slowly sipping my chai latte and it was fine. But then I completely forgot I’d just gotten a fill and I took a huge gulp. I sat there at my desk with a big mouth full of liquid debating whether or not I should get up and spit it out – fearing it wouldn’t be good. But decided.. how bad could it be. Let me tell you that was the completely and utterly the wrong decision. I ended up throwing up five or six times and not being able to get down much of anything else that day. It was no doubt a net loss of intake on Wednesday.


Thursday and Friday were both better, but still not great. I was able to get in some really mushy mashed potatoes but at some point each day I was throwing up again. I was able to eat thinned down mashed potatoes, but not drink any milk based product at all, it was the milk that was causing me to throw up. So no chai lattes for me - sigh. Of course each time I throw up I’m not helping the swelling go down, I’m just making it worse. So on Saturday and Sunday I was really, really conservative and managed to not throw up at all and to get a little bit of mushy food in each day as well as a decent amount of water and my vitamins. And on Sunday I was able to drink a little bit of chai latte and a little bit of hot chocolate, as well as some crab in my crab soup – all good signs.


So I think today will really be the test. I’m not planning on going out and having a burger or anything. But I need to be able to drink my chai latte today and eat a decent amount of calories. If I can’t I’ll make the call tomorrow to have some taken out.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Some Ricky-isms....


Ricky: Do you know where the egg thing is?
Me: I don’t know what the egg thing is.
Ricky: You know, the egg thing.
Me: I don’t know, I swear.
It turns out it was the spatula.  I suggested looking in the drawer where we keep the spatulas.  The same drawer where the spatulas have been kept for all 10 years we've lived here.  
(Note: she made herself eggs each morning this week while husband was away and I was at work - I wonder what she used to flip them?)
A minute or so later her eggs were making noise - she had it on high and the noise made her look.  She looked towards the stove where her eggs were sizzling on high - and also where I had some ravioli boiling on the back burner.

Ricky: your things are cooking
Me: that noise is your eggs.  Is that the temperature you want it on?
(so she went and looked closer and fiddled with the temp thing until she had it on ignite and then walked away with it clicking)
Me: Uh Ricky - that noise is your clue that it's igniting and you shouldn't leave it with that sound going.
Ricky: oh... hmmm... ok

(she said she used to have a stove like that and she had problems with it and it eventually stopped working)

This is a little conversation I just had with my friend Farrah
Me: Ricky just asked me if i remembered going to jcpenny's last year.  That was when she pooped.  In the fitting room.  So yes, yes I remember.
Farrah: no repeat performances today please
Me: she wanted to get another pair of the peddle pushers she got (I got her) there.  The ones she had to put on so I could throw away her clothes.  Yeah, I remember.  Apparently they don't fit her anymore.  Gee sorry.
(We found an almost identical pair while we were out shopping yesterday and we had no incidents whatsoever.)

Friday, March 2, 2012

BYOC!!! Bring Your Own Crazy!!

It’s time for Drazil’s BYOC – where we answer 5 little questions to get to know each other better and also to give our blogging brains a little rest. Enjoy!

1. Since I talked about psychics this week - I'm curious....if you could see one for free and you could only ask one question - what would it be?

Hmmmm, I guess I’d ask if I’m heading in the right direction. I hate wasting time and I’d just as soon know.

2. What's your favorite ice cream flavor and topping?

Hershey’s has this flavor that is cookies and cream with a peanut butter ribbon in it. That’s pretty damn good. But if I could choose anything it would be better batter ice cream mixed with heath pieces from Maggie Moos or Cold Stone.

3. What's your preferred method of working out? DVDs, an external gym, gym inside your home, classes?
Well… I most often do the treadmill so maybe that’s the preferred method or maybe that’s just because it’s in my house so it’s convenient. When I’ve been on a roll – which I am most definitely not right now – I really like going to a gym and going through a weight routine a few times a week.

4. If you work outside the home or if you ever did or will in the future - do you think it's better/easier to work with men or woman? Who do you work mostly with now?


I think it’s easier to work with men, though in general I haven’t had too many issues with either gender. But, if I look back on my career the only issues I’ve ever had were ones with women – so… that’s why women lose out on this one. In my current job we work really hard to hire as much for personality and fit as we do for skill set and I’d say we generally do a damn good job of that so there really aren’t that many issues here.

5. Repeat question. Summarize your week in real life and in blog land.

 
Real life – well… my really busy week from hell is over where I got the kids and the MIL for the week while husband was in CA living it up. Okay – he might have been taking a couple of classes but still… I had the MIL to entertain and all the homework and practices and whatnot to deal with. Husband got back just before 2am this morning and yippee! He’s taking MIL out to lunch which is good as I feel kind of badly that she was cooped up in the house all week long. I think I’m going to take her shopping and to an early dinner on Saturday after the basketball games are over. I’m trying to con a friend to go with me, but I have no idea what her schedule is this weekend.

Blogland – is so fun because BOOBS 3 has been announced. I think I may buy my plane tickets this weekend, I’m so excited!!

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

I feel like a bandster again...

I had my first appointment with my new band doctor today.  And at first it seemed like it was heading into disaster mode.  I get there the requested 15 minutes early as it's my first appointment and go to sign in and am asked which doctor I'm seeing and I tell them.  They say, oh, they're not here yet.  They'll be here soon and will call you then.  Well, okay then.

I sit down patiently and watch several other patients for the same doctor do roughly the same thing and ultimately sit down.  About 15 minutes later - right at my appointment time... the hussy walks in.  She too went to the window and tried to sign in and she too was giving the same information as the rest of us. But that little hussy just stood there at the window hovering... waiting so she could get her name down first on the sign in sheet.  She did and then I was second and the rest followed.

But then the most delightful and assertive woman went up to the counter and told the people how I had been there first - waiting since long before she had come in and how we had both been here before the hussy who was now happily filling out her paperwork.  Then I was asked again for my name and the woman behind the counter said I wasn't on their list for the day - when did I make my appointment.  Uh... a few weeks ago.  Here, let me show you the paperwork that you guys sent me with this date and time listed on it.  She was very polite, but not sure what to do with me.

They got it figured out and sent me back.  The nurse who took my vitals apologized telling me it was entirely her fault.  That she filled out the paperwork and got everything ready, but didn't put it on the schedule. Obviously I liked her immediately even if she didn't have much of a personality - I love it when people acknowledge that they screwed up - it takes all my annoyance away.  Done.

Anyway - then the doctor came in and as advertised he was very funny.  He asked me relevant questions and listened to what I had to say.  Based on what I am able to eat and how quickly he thought I should have a full cc but totally understood my reluctance given my over fill history.  He said - how about if we give you half now and if you want it, come back in 2 weeks and we'll put in a bit more.

The only part I didn't love was that he pulled out all of the liquid because he wanted to know where I was - then he put it back in with .5cc more.  But as you all have said over and over again - having it all out and going all right back in can sometimes really change the fill level - or at least how filled you feel.... so it makes me a little nervous - but eh... he's got a baseline and I really liked him.  He actually talked and listened and I didn't think he was patronizing or anything.

So... yay me.  And now - I feel like I just got my band and I'm on liquids for 2 days and then can go to solids and if I want I can go back and get some more.  (which I highly doubt).

Friday, February 24, 2012

BYOC!!! Bring Your Own Crazy!! (edited - MIL)

Okay - it's Friday - which means it's time for BYOC. Bring Your Own Crazy!

This week Draz dipped into the family reserves (2 daughters and Rambo) and asked them what they'd like to ask you guys.

#1 comes from Rambo....
1. If you were going to scratch your ass in public, which cheek would you start with?
Seriously??? OMG Rambo. But… I suppose it would be the side that itches whichever one that was. If both sides itched, I’d probably start with the right as I’m right handed.
Too funny!!

#2 comes from Watermelon (11 yr. old)


2. If you were a fashion designer, what's the first item of clothing you'd design for yourself and why.
I think a dress. I love dresses and I love ones that hug my curves as I feel they should be hugged.


#3 is from Drazil herself.
3. Remember last week when I told you to describe yourself in 5 positive words? This week - turn to your family or anyone next to you and ask them to describe you in 5 words and LISTEN to their answers.

My husband Dan’s words were
-Mom
-Plucky (my personal favorite)
-Stylish
-Sexy
-Writer

My friend Farrah’s words were
-loyal
-curious
-vivacious
-generous
-witty


My friend Steve’s words were
-passionate
-sexy
-smart
-responsible
-amazing

My friend Jamie's words were
-fun loving
-funny
-frank
-wordsmith
-melodious

My friend Christine's words were
-whip-smart
-brilliant sense of humor
-resolute
-decisive
-genuine

My 13 year old son's words were
-awesome
-thoughtful
-flexible
-nice
-you work with what you have - meaning if I'm nice, you're nice - if I'm rude - you send me to my room

My 11 year old son's words were
-awesome
-funny
-nice
-from time to time cruel
-witty

My MIL's words were
-outgoin'
-witty (is that enough? no, I'm looking for 5 and that's only 2)
-there's more about you than that (shrug) I just can't...
-cheerful
-spontaneous

Apparently I have these people either well fooled, or well trained. Either way, I’ll totally take it.

(I must say - I truly love that both of my children independently chose "awesome" as their first word for me)


#4 is a repeat question and she’s only doing 4 questions today since #3 is kinda long-ish.
4. Summarize your week in blog land and in real life.
Real life has been okay. I’ve been sick – just a cold, but it is totally getting on my nerves. For a while it was slowly migrating all over the damn place – lungs, head, ears… but it seems now to be mostly gone… except. Hi, my name is Read, and I’m a snot factory. I hope one day to be able to stop production. Dan’s mom arrived yesterday and Dan is heading to CA for a week so I’ve been busy getting in as much fun and socializing as possible before I’m alone with Ricky for a week. Please pray for me.

And… I have my doctor’s appointment with my new band doctor on Tuesday – I’ll give a report after I get back.

Blog life – slowly but surely I’m joining the land of the living with respect to blogs.. and I couldn’t be happier. I love that I’m making some connections again.