Tuesday, February 28, 2012

I feel like a bandster again...

I had my first appointment with my new band doctor today.  And at first it seemed like it was heading into disaster mode.  I get there the requested 15 minutes early as it's my first appointment and go to sign in and am asked which doctor I'm seeing and I tell them.  They say, oh, they're not here yet.  They'll be here soon and will call you then.  Well, okay then.

I sit down patiently and watch several other patients for the same doctor do roughly the same thing and ultimately sit down.  About 15 minutes later - right at my appointment time... the hussy walks in.  She too went to the window and tried to sign in and she too was giving the same information as the rest of us. But that little hussy just stood there at the window hovering... waiting so she could get her name down first on the sign in sheet.  She did and then I was second and the rest followed.

But then the most delightful and assertive woman went up to the counter and told the people how I had been there first - waiting since long before she had come in and how we had both been here before the hussy who was now happily filling out her paperwork.  Then I was asked again for my name and the woman behind the counter said I wasn't on their list for the day - when did I make my appointment.  Uh... a few weeks ago.  Here, let me show you the paperwork that you guys sent me with this date and time listed on it.  She was very polite, but not sure what to do with me.

They got it figured out and sent me back.  The nurse who took my vitals apologized telling me it was entirely her fault.  That she filled out the paperwork and got everything ready, but didn't put it on the schedule. Obviously I liked her immediately even if she didn't have much of a personality - I love it when people acknowledge that they screwed up - it takes all my annoyance away.  Done.

Anyway - then the doctor came in and as advertised he was very funny.  He asked me relevant questions and listened to what I had to say.  Based on what I am able to eat and how quickly he thought I should have a full cc but totally understood my reluctance given my over fill history.  He said - how about if we give you half now and if you want it, come back in 2 weeks and we'll put in a bit more.

The only part I didn't love was that he pulled out all of the liquid because he wanted to know where I was - then he put it back in with .5cc more.  But as you all have said over and over again - having it all out and going all right back in can sometimes really change the fill level - or at least how filled you feel.... so it makes me a little nervous - but eh... he's got a baseline and I really liked him.  He actually talked and listened and I didn't think he was patronizing or anything.

So... yay me.  And now - I feel like I just got my band and I'm on liquids for 2 days and then can go to solids and if I want I can go back and get some more.  (which I highly doubt).

Friday, February 24, 2012

BYOC!!! Bring Your Own Crazy!! (edited - MIL)

Okay - it's Friday - which means it's time for BYOC. Bring Your Own Crazy!

This week Draz dipped into the family reserves (2 daughters and Rambo) and asked them what they'd like to ask you guys.

#1 comes from Rambo....
1. If you were going to scratch your ass in public, which cheek would you start with?
Seriously??? OMG Rambo. But… I suppose it would be the side that itches whichever one that was. If both sides itched, I’d probably start with the right as I’m right handed.
Too funny!!

#2 comes from Watermelon (11 yr. old)

2. If you were a fashion designer, what's the first item of clothing you'd design for yourself and why.
I think a dress. I love dresses and I love ones that hug my curves as I feel they should be hugged.

#3 is from Drazil herself.
3. Remember last week when I told you to describe yourself in 5 positive words? This week - turn to your family or anyone next to you and ask them to describe you in 5 words and LISTEN to their answers.

My husband Dan’s words were
-Plucky (my personal favorite)

My friend Farrah’s words were

My friend Steve’s words were

My friend Jamie's words were
-fun loving

My friend Christine's words were
-brilliant sense of humor

My 13 year old son's words were
-you work with what you have - meaning if I'm nice, you're nice - if I'm rude - you send me to my room

My 11 year old son's words were
-from time to time cruel

My MIL's words were
-witty (is that enough? no, I'm looking for 5 and that's only 2)
-there's more about you than that (shrug) I just can't...

Apparently I have these people either well fooled, or well trained. Either way, I’ll totally take it.

(I must say - I truly love that both of my children independently chose "awesome" as their first word for me)

#4 is a repeat question and she’s only doing 4 questions today since #3 is kinda long-ish.
4. Summarize your week in blog land and in real life.
Real life has been okay. I’ve been sick – just a cold, but it is totally getting on my nerves. For a while it was slowly migrating all over the damn place – lungs, head, ears… but it seems now to be mostly gone… except. Hi, my name is Read, and I’m a snot factory. I hope one day to be able to stop production. Dan’s mom arrived yesterday and Dan is heading to CA for a week so I’ve been busy getting in as much fun and socializing as possible before I’m alone with Ricky for a week. Please pray for me.

And… I have my doctor’s appointment with my new band doctor on Tuesday – I’ll give a report after I get back.

Blog life – slowly but surely I’m joining the land of the living with respect to blogs.. and I couldn’t be happier. I love that I’m making some connections again.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Tonight's Jase-ism

I'm at my computer at one end of the kitchen table and Jason is at the other end doing his homework.  He looks up and is staring at me for a few long minutes and then said....

You look so weird right now because you're wearing what you'd sleep in (I have on gray sweat pants and a pink long sleeve t-shirt) and really fancy earrings (just some drop earrings I wore to work today) and your awesome new glasses (I love my kid).  If I put my hand in front of my face and only look at your head you look like a librarian, but if I put it down you look like a mom (said with much derision).  He lifted his hand again and said... (in a funny high squeaky voice) "look it's Ms. Sypanski" (the school's librarian).

(shaking my head) he's so my kid...

Then... the husband asked Jase if there was anyone else he wanted to invite to his party and he said yes - Will Smith.  I just stared at my kid, because I had no idea if he was making a joke or not.  He started cracking up and said - really... that's the name of a kid in my class.  I said - ok so you're not talking about the rapper?  Dan said - he's hardly a rapper.  I said - he used to be one.  And Dan said all horrified.... that would be like describing Shatner only as an actor.

Oh the horror.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Best. Card. Ever.

So here I am, minding my own business and I got a card.  Like... an actual card... made of paper... and it was delivered by this person who drives around in a white truck and it was put in this thing that's in front of our house that has a cute little red flag on the side.  And.  Wow.  How fun is that.  I mean.. yay.  A card, I love things that actually come in the mail - it's such a rare a thing.  So... I'm already excited.

But then.

Guess what...

I got the very best card I've ever gotten in my whole life.  Drazil send me a Valentine's card.  I'll wait while you all take a deep breath and deal with your jealousy.


Are you done yet.

But still... it's not fantastic enough just to get a card from Drazil - it is seriously the best, most meaningful card I've ever gotten in my life.  It so spoke to me...  Hit me kind of deep.  I can't begin to tell you what it meant to me - I hope I've done a good enough of job of telling her just how much I loved it, and how much I love her.

Monday, February 20, 2012

a little this... a little that...

Hi guys, how was your weekend?

Mine was okay eating wise. I’ve discovered a new favorite meal – quite by accident – sautéed mushrooms and avocados. I was at a friend’s house and they were sort of making a build your own spinach salad for dinner. So on the table was baby spinach leaves, cooked chicken, sautéed mushrooms, avocado, and feta cheese. But the avocados and mushrooms looked so good I really just stuck with a bit of those two – and OMG – so good!! I had a bit of feta on a few bites and that was good too – but gorgonzola would have been even better. I have a bit of a gorgonzola fetish if you didn’t know that about me.

I drank lots of alcohol though in the past several days. I’ve been doing things that somehow trip the “this is an unusual event” button in my brain which says – I absolutely should have a drink with this… which is of course no problem… except for the fact that it just isn’t an unusual event so it shouldn’t be tripping that button in my brain. Don’t get me wrong, I like to drink. I’m a big fan. But in general, I really don’t drink all that often. Probably less than once a week, though certainly some weeks it’s way more than that. But recently I’ve been drinking something several times each week and while I don’t mind that in general – it’s really just adding calories for no good reason to my life. I’m all for getting a nice buzz here and there, but I just don’t have to have as much as I’ve had recently. Really – right or wrong – I usually do drink for the effect. I love a good buzz. But… I find in the last few months I’ve just been drinking because it seemed like the thing to do – because the “this is an unusual event” button got tripped. So… I’ve decided to get over that.

The same “this is an unusual event” button was getting tripped a lot recently related to eating as well. I found myself eating out a bit more often and instead of just ordering a salad or some other nice and healthy thing, I found myself thinking… oh this is a special occasion, go ahead and splurge a bit. But…. It’s not a special occasion – or something unusual, it’s just my life these days and I need to calibrate that button in my brain differently. I think just realizing that the button was not working correctly will be enough actually. I’ll just have to have a few meals out and make sure it’s working as it should now. My friend C is coming to have lunch with me tomorrow so I’ll get to test it out then.

And… guess what people… My MIL is coming on Wednesday. And as I’m sure I’ve mentioned, the husband is leaving on Sunday for most of the following week. He’s back in the wee hours of Friday early morning (Thursday night) so I get her all to myself for nearly a full week. I’m so excited!!! Yippee!

Monday, February 13, 2012

The many faces of Jason

Yes I know he's supposed to be Jason - but as we have seen - I suck at that.

But wait - look at me - 2 posts in one day.  I'm sitting here with my cute little 11 year old and he's speaking volumes with just his face.  I love love love it!!!  He's totally not amused with me that I'm playing a song that was already stuck in his head.  Of course the best part is that the song stuck in his head is Friend is a Four Letter Word by Cake.  (special thanks to dead Paul)

Sometimes it's just time....

Operation find a new doctor…

My PCP had recommended a doctor, and then a woman I met through my crazy doctor’s office switched to the same doctor so he’s who I’m trying first.  And then, in fact, a wonderful person, jogood, also commented that she lives in the next county over and uses this same doctor and also recommended him – yay!  (Dear Jogood – thanks so much!!! We should try to meet up sometime.  There are a few of us who live in the area.  I couldn’t reply to your comment, so if you’d send me an email, I’d love to hook up… mytrekdownward@gmail.com).  This doctor is the former partner of my current doctor which is… interesting, I guess.

Anyway – I contacted his office and was told to have my records sent there as the doctor likes to review the records before he’ll commit to taking on a new patient that has already been banded.  I had my records sent to me and faxed them off to his office on Friday and now I wait to see if they like me.  If this one doesn’t work out, maybe I’ll look into Linda or Bonnie’s doctors, or maybe I’ll consider the Fill Center USA in Annapolis.  We’ll see. 

I’m feeling like I’m in a new mental space.  Moving forward.  I feel like I’ve been stagnant for so long.  But sometimes it’s just time to move along.  It doesn’t matter all the other stuff that’s going on in your life – things are always going to be happening in your life.  I remember a time when my husband had surgery and couldn’t drive for six weeks and both boys were in sports and I managed to lose weight during that time.  That was just what my life was filled with – sometimes your life has drama and sometimes it’s crazy busy and sometimes it’s calm and boring – but none of those things should be excuses to not work towards meeting your goals and I know I, for one, allow them to be excuses far too often.

But… Sometimes it’s just time.

OH and guess what… I just got a call from the new doctor’s office and I have my first appointment with him on the 28th.  I oddly feel totally nervous as I feel like I haven’t really been a banded person for quite a while – and now I’m going to be one again… but… here we go.

Friday, February 10, 2012

BYOC!!! Bring Your Own Crazy!!

It’s Friday and that means it’s time for Draz’s BYOC! Bring Your Own Crazy! We answer 5 questions in an effort to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break. Copy to your own blog if you wish and ENJOY!

1. Name a Valentine gift you would NOT want to receive.

um… clothes of any kind; whether underwear or a parka.
2. What’s your vacation personality? Do you act/eat/talk/do things differently or completely opposite from when you are not on vacation?

Hmmm… I’d say I’m still just me – but maybe me on steroids.  I’m roughly always the same – sort of out there, ready to explore and experience new things.  If I’m with people with whom I feel safe, I will actually try the new things – if I’m not then I’ll just watch the new things – both are fun for me.  I’m much more likely to eat ice cream on vacation though.
3. Describe yourself in 5 POSITIVE words.


4. Do you have any phobias or irrational fears or dislikes?

Oh!! I’ve got two completely stupid and irrational fears.  I am TERRIFIED of bears.  And while sure, that’s not really a stupid thing to be afraid of.  I live in fear of them IN MY HOUSE.  I back to the woods.  Woods that are in suburban MARYLAND.  It’s not exactly the height of bear country.  There are, in fact, bears in MD but not in the woods behind my house – but I swear to God I have nightmares several times a year about what if a bear got into my house – what would I do? – How would I protect my children? – How could I sacrifice my dog?  We have a dog door for the hopefully sacrificial dog and I just know someday a big huge bear is going to squeeze through there and get inside one day.

And the other one is Rocks.  Yup, you heard me… rocks.  As in the kind you climb up.  I can repel down with no problem (this does not mean I’m an expert repeller) But I will start shaking if I’m faced with having to even walk up an extremely well worn touristy type path where there are rocks and mountains in the vicinity.  It’s just their nearness that wigs me the hell out. 

(hanging head in shame)
5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in blog land and in real life.

Real life – lots of drama that I think is now over – that’s all I have to say about that.

Blog life – actually I’m not sure if this should be in the real life part or not but… I love my group of blog women (all you JKs know who you are).  You are all amazing and strong and some of the best women I’ve ever met!

Friday, February 3, 2012

BYOC!!! Bring Your Own Crazy!!

It’s Friday and that means it’s time for Drazil's BYOC. Bring Your Own Crazy. We answer five questions in an effort to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break. Copy and paste if you so desire and ENJOY!

1. Have you ever bought undies/bra/lingerie for someone else? Or has anyone ever bought them for you? How was the “experience”?

…. Well… I buy underwear for my husband and children, but I’m not thinking this is what Draz was talking about.  So… no.  I have never and no one has ever done that for me.  I think I’d be mortified if someone were to even suggest such a thing…
2. Do you have an internal song you replay in your head that is just yours?

Not one that is just mine.  I do, however, have playing repeatedly in my head whatever the last song I heard was – or a song that reminds me of something – or a stupid children’s song… Unfortunately for those around me it usually falls right out of my mouth and everyone gets to hear the single line of the single song that is in my poor head repeated over and over at a fairly high decibel level.
3. I heard on the news the other day that something like 80% of people think a tan person is way sexier than “not tan”. How do you feel about that? Do you tan? Fake bake? Real sun? Or do you wear SPF 150?

I definitely like tan better than not tan – but I’ve never been “tanning” and I HATE to lay out in the sun.  I don’t wear sunscreen and I drive a convertible and so I usually have at least something going on in the summer but that’s about it.
4. Do you vote in the presidential election? Do you vote based on news, family opinions or research or your gut?

Of course I vote.  I live in a country where people fought and died to give me that privilege.  It is one of the few things I will truly judge others about.  I, in all honesty, think less of people who don’t vote.  I am very sorry to those of you who I consider friends who fall into that category, but it’s a completely honest statement. 

I vote based on my opinions and values.  No one asked, but I’ll tell you that I’m fiscally conservative and socially liberal.  I weigh the issues and where I hope the county, state, country should move in the future.  I give weight to those issues… as in which ones are more important to me and which ones may need to be battles to fight another day and that’s where my votes and my money go.
5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in real life and in blog land.

Real life… it was really good.  I found a good and comfortable place in my personal life and feel a new sense of calm that is completely delightful!  I did see a number on the scale this morning that chilled me to the bone – so hopefully that will be the wakeup call I need.  I am not looking forward to undecorating for Christmas, but that’s what I’m working on this weekend.  Perhaps I’ll be able to recapture my house again and begin to put it back together for the rest of the year.

Blog life – I feel like I’m sort of re-emerging back into the world of the living.  I am totally sorry for being absent for so long and maybe the real life comments above are somehow connected…. But whatever it was – I’m glad to be back and hope to be a more active member again!!

Love to you all!!!

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Ten Things Thursday!!!

I’ve loved Laura’s idea for some time now, but have been out of the blogging routine for too long recently for me to jump on her bandwagon.  But, today is the day!!  Do you guys remember that thing that went around on Facebook a thousand years ago – where you wrote 25 random things about yourself – I LOVED that!  It really made me think and I love thinking… cuz I’m a geek like that!

10 Random things for no particular reason….

  1. I can think and analyze and process things to death – but I swear it does me good in the long run.
  2. I got to drive with my top down (of the car, not of the woman – though that was seriously contemplated) for the last two days…. That would be the last day of January and the first day of February… and OMG can I just tell you how happy that made me??  I was in bliss.  There are few things better to me than driving with the top down.  I LOVE to drive – period.  But add the top down – the sky right there reaching down to touch me – and … yeah, life is really, really good!!!
  3. My 13 year old son is turning into a man in front of my eyes and it’s wigging me the hell out.  First there is his size.  He’s not that tall yet, maybe 5’4”, but that’s a solid 2 inches taller than me and really he might be taller than that and I’m just in denial – but it’s his shape.  He’s got a very traditional V-shape going on that men strive for.  He’s got broad shoulders that taper down to a narrow waist.  AND if that wasn’t bad enough, as you’ve heard me mention before, he’s hairy as shit!  Well he’s really not in any way shape or form abnormally hairy, but he’s WAY hairier than he was a couple of years ago.  He’s got man hair on his legs and under his arms and I don’t really want to think about the rest of the places he has man hair (closing my eyes, and plugging my ears and singing la la la la la la).  I have to buy his clothes in the men’s section now because of the shape of him.  AND he’s seriously solid.  He’s quite thin, but very, very solid.  I watch him on the basketball court and he’s in the taller half of the kids but there are certainly kids taller than he is – or bigger in other ways – but.. he’s an imposing figure because he’s so broad.  He weighs 130 lbs.  I don’t even know what to do with that number on my little boy.  Hell, that’s what I should weigh.  His feet are ginormous, he can’t wear his dad’s shoes anymore – he outgrew them.  But then there’s the way he conducts himself.  I mean he’s still a surly 13 year old who’s regularly a pain in the ass – but… he’s a good person.  He’s polite and courteous and helpful to others.  We regularly get unsolicited feedback on what a lovely young man he is – and this is all delightful of course – the best you can hope for as a parent – but… shit.  He’s just not a little boy anymore.  And I’m not too happy about it.  Well except for the fact that he’s bigger and stronger than me and I haven’t had to carry anything heavy in a while now…. So that’s good!
  4. I have this friend who is such a pleaser it’s really hard to know what really comes from her and what comes from what she thinks others want.  I want for her to become the amazing person I know she can be.  The more I think and analyze and process the things she does and says I wonder which decisions are truly hers at a gut-deep, personal level and which decisions she’s made in her life because she felt she had no other choice – no other options. 
  5. I am So. So. So. Fucked.  I have been SUCKING at anything that points me in the direction of meeting my health goals.  I need swift kick in the ass I think.  Jesus God, I don’t like this part of myself.  I think I need a little reminder that I can see – that I’m so fucked, to keep it in the front of my mind (as if I can’t remember all by myself)… I’ll have to give that some thought.
  6. My 11 year old son is entirely too funny.  He has a very dry wit and extremely good comic timing.  I think he could put himself through college by doing standup.  Every single day he makes me laugh out loud.  Well, often my older son does too, but in his case it’s more a matter of laughing at him vs laughing because he’s a natural comedian. 
  7. Sometimes I think I live off of cheese sticks.  They are quick protein, fairly filling, really easy to grab and not too bad a choice.
  8. I worked 7 days a week for a ridiculous number of hours for all of January, but that thankfully is now over.  I am so glad to be getting back to normal now.
  9. Because my schedule has finally freed up (see above) I can now undecorate from Christmas.  Yup, that’s what I said.  Other than the outside lights which my husband took down several weeks ago and the real tree that basically disintegrated in a green cloud all over our family room, the entire house is exactly like it was on Christmas day.  Yeah – well.. I swear it’s really high on the list now - really!
  10. I’m really glad I don’t live in Wyoming in the winter.