Monday, January 17, 2011

So I need an unfill....

Just a little fyi for those who might experience similar things...  I am in no way having the issues that Amy W or Gen were having, but still...


I thought it might be okay.  I thought there might just be a very steep learning curve.  I thought the serious tightness might be a result of my good friend TOM who was visisting.  Not so much.  Or at least I'm not willing to climb that kind of learning curve - I'm just not that agile.

I was nervous about this fill as I was thinking maybe .2 or so at the most and no fill would have been fine, but he initially gave me 1.5cc for some assinine reason and then when I couldn't swallow water in his office he took out .5cc.  I'm a serious fatalist and thought perhaps a fill of 1cc was what I should get and it wasn't that he's just a freaking moron who gives huge fills if you want tiny ones and small fills if you want bigger ones.

I very dutifuly did liquids for 2 days and mushies for 2 days and that went okay.  I certainly couldn't eat much; definitely less than 1/2 C, but with time and a LOT of chewing I could get everything down.  And then I moved on to a little more substantial food.  I had some chicken salad and that went okay if extremely slowly.  I am seriously and profoundly not hungry at this fill level.  Like - I'm pretty sure I am never going to be hungry again in my life - ever.  I'm not full at all, it's just completely not on my radar.  It's very odd and very cool. 

But the day after I was able to eat several bites of chicken salad I threw up on cottage cheese.  And then that night I had a serious issue - like throwing up a little at a time for about 40 minutes after maybe 2 bites of scalloped potatoes.  I knew I'd be really tight the next day and I was so I only did liquids again.  This started a cycle.  One I can't explain.  Some days I was able to eat a little bit, chewed extremely well and very, very slowly - but I could get it down.  And on those days as this is my busy season I was thinking - eh... I can survive this little amount of food.  I'm not hungry.  I am wildly busy - so I don't really have time to eat bad stuff (as I'm chained to my desk at the moment).  So as long as I get in enough protein, liquid, and calories.  I'll just wait and see how it goes.  Hey, maybe I'll even lose a little weight as I've been hanging around the same number for about 6 weeks.

I was bummed as I had just started to get in a groove of working out in the morning before work - but I had to suspend that as I couldn't drink enough water to work out in the morning.  But again - eh, we'll see what happens.  But the pattern is way too pronounced and I just can't get a handle on it.  Some days I can eat well enough - if mostly soft stuff, but seemingly the next day or next minute - I can't get anything down.  And on those days where it's bad - a few times it's gotten really bad for no reason I can explain. 

Yesterday was bad.  I've already been gross enough so I'll spare you the details, but it wasn't pretty.  And so I again packed only liquids today.  I hadn't eaten much all weekend already, so I was very careful to have enough liquid, calories, and protein with me.  I almost threw up on water on my way to work, but managed to keep it down.  And by noon, I had to give up on my chai latte.  I was just never going to get it down.  It's now just about 8pm and I've gotten down probably close to 32oz of water; half of which had protein and vitamins in it.  I've got an unfill scheduled for 9am the day after tomorrow.  In theory I'll be a little looser tomorrow and will be able to drink freely again.  But this is just too much - even on an every other day schedule.

Of course I'm totally worried about my freakazoid of a doctor - will he take everything out?  I did ask him specifically what he'd do if I found this fill was too tight and he said he'd take half of what he just put in back out - but we'll see what he really does.  He's not made much sense yet.

Anyway - that's me and my band at the moment.

10 comments:

Drazil said...

Oh you poor thing....I feel so bad for you...take care.

Sandy Lee said...

You poor thing. I've had two unfills and the second time he only took out a wee bit. The first time I was almost begging to have the band taken out. Thank god he wasn't a surgeon.

If he just takes out the half of what he put in, you should be good. Hope you feel better tomorrow. Are you sure it is your MIL's fault?

Miss Vickie "The Queen Bee" said...

Oh Read, I can completely understand. I have had some fill issues too. I hope he only takes half out!

Stephanie said...

((((HUGS)))) I'm sorry you're having so much trouble, Read. I don't know anything about the band, so I can't advise, but I'm sending a ton of positive thoughts your way.

Bonnie said...

This is the thing that I think really sucks about the band. You are too full and I'm not full enough. Why can't we all be just right! And consistently. Not good on this day, too tight on that day, not tight on another day...can you say Sybil?

Barbara said...

Yikes.. I was following your logic all along.. and it sounds like you were doing the right thing easing back in your foods..
You are right for listening to your instinct.... perhaps if you suggest to your doc what you think you need, he will listen.. wishing you an easier time..

~Lisa~ said...

I might not fully understand what you're feeling - but I'm sending good feelings your way...

I hope it works for you!
(((hugggsss)))

Jacquie said...

As long as he does't drain you, you should be fine! I feel like I am on a trapeze without a net without any fill in me!

Joey said...

Ouch! Poor girl! Be assertive - insist on removing half the fill.

amandakiska said...

Ask him to remove it all so he'll for sure leave the .2 you wanted to begin with.

So sorry you're miserable. Being too full is NO FUN!