Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Potent Quotables.... from the MIL

As I've mentioned before this is my busy season (why is this not completely preventing me from blogging???) so I truly have barely seen my MIL.  I didn't set eyes on her yesterday and only had about 1/2 hour with her, if that on Sunday.... but stil....  I've been keeping track of some of the more noteworthy things that come out of her mouth....


So... Brad and I were in the kitchen making dinner and the boys were in the other room watching TV.  Ricky wanders in and opens with..

Ricky: Do you think they'll clown.  (I'm thinking um, clown - as in red nose? I stare at her, waiting for more and she presses her point) In our lifetime, will they clown?

Me: Do you mean clone?

Ricky: yeah, where they make more than one of you.

I rushed for a paper and pencil to write that one down as Brad answered.


Maybe 10 minutes later, I'm pulling stuff out of the oven and here her talking in a startlingly vicious voice...

Ricky: These come in real nice. (I looked and she was staring at her long and sharp thumb nails) You could really dig into someone with these.  (then she examined the rest of her nails) but the rest... eh.


The next day, I'm in the kitchen again doing something and she walks up to me with purpose (it's the first time I'd seen her that day).
Ricky:You know a lot of times your problems with surgar are emotional problem... you know with stress.

Me: Okay, but I don't have problems with my sugar.

Ricky: Oh I know, but I think that might be some of Cookie's (her sister) problems.  She might have to get a protective order for when she calls.  (not sure who 'she' is in that sentence, but I'm assuming it's Cookie's jail bound daughter Carrie)

Me: aaah, okay
and then she left as quickly as she came.


And my personal favorite...
She's at the kitchen table playing fetch with Bandit who will retreive a thrown tennis ball until his legs literally fall off of his body.

Ricky: I wonder why someone didn't think to train dogs to play baseball

Brad:  They'd have trouble holding the bat


Don't you wish you were all at my house to hear the comedy that flows out of that woman's mouth?  I don't know about you, but I'm keeping my paper and pencil close at hand!

13 comments:

amandakiska said...

Love it!

Lee Ann said...

i'm thankful for the laugh....but even more thankful she's not at my house.

Justawallflower said...

I think by the time she leaves you'll be able to publish one of those one liner books that makes absolutely no sense at all!

Bonnie said...

Too funny.

Miss Vickie "The Queen Bee" said...

Oh my, you could write a book! Keep them coming, I look forward to it!

~Lisa~ said...

hahaha!! I am loving every blessed word - thank you!!

Robin said...

oh this was a fun visit!!

Found you while blog hopping!!

YOur blog is wonderful!!

Robin
http://www.1girlgettinfit.blogspot.com/

Jacquie said...

You are going straight to heaven!

Drazil said...

Keep writing them down - then you can write a book and become a millionaire courtesy of your crazy MIL.

Camille said...

Just keep writing them down! Love it!

Stephanie said...

ROFL!! Oh dear. I'm glad you're keeping a pen and paper handy. LOL!

The Ninja said...

You should know that these make my day, I love hearing about the nutty things she says.

Kiki said...

How is this not a reality show?! Too funny. I appreciate you taking one for the team and providing us with amusement!