Wednesday, June 29, 2011

A few final Ricky-isms....

One of the best things about Ricky is that she constantly repeats things.  She’ll tell you the same thing over and over and over and over and over again.  It’s possible that she might forget she told you, but it’s more that she just wants to be able to have something to say to you – so she’ll start these things with… “I prolly already mentioned this but….”

While she’s down here, every Friday Brad takes her to get her hair set, so one Saturday (6 days before the next hair appointment) she says to me.

I prolly already mentioned this but I don't know if he'll have time of course, but if he does.  I'm gonna see if Brad'll take me to Target so I can get that thing while we're out on Friday. (no one knows what thing).  He might not have time, but if he does, I think I just want to pick up that thing. And I want to pick up a little something for that baby that was just born at church.  Not something big.  Just a little something.  Maybe a couple of bibs.  Not something big mind you.  (I've heard this notion that she wants to get that "thing" and something small for the new baby maybe 300 times by this point.)

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A few weeks ago we were at one of Teddy’s soccer games on a hot day and my shorts-phobic son is the only one on the field with long pants.  Not to mention he’s got big bushy hair and his last name which is eleven letters long is on the back of his jersey – he’s extremely easy to spot on the field.  Oh and he plays defense so you know where to find him on the field.

Ricky:  Where’s Teddy?

Us: (pointing) he’s right there near the goal, that’s where he’ll be the entire half.  Look, he’s the only one with long pants, so he’s easy to spot.

Ricky: burp  Oh, skooz me.

Ricky: burp  Oh, skooz me.  Where’s Teddy again (looking at the opposite side of the field from where he is.)

Then the other team took a shot on our goal and Ted blocked the shot.

Ricky: Did Teddy just make that goal?

Us: No, he plays defense.  He blocked the goal.

Ricky: burp… Oh, skooz me.

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I prolly already mentioned this andI don't know if he'll have time of course, but if he does.  I'm gonna see if Brad'll take me to Target so I can get that thing while we're out on Friday.  He might not have time, but if he does, I think I just want to pick up that thing.  And I want to pick up a little something for that baby that was just born at church.  Not something big.  Just a little something.  Maybe a couple of bibs.  Not something big mind you.

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Ricky:  Did you say Jen’s girls are in kindergarten?

Me: I said her youngest will go into kindergarten next year and the twins are in third grade this year.

Ricky:  Oh so her youngest was one.

Me:  Um.. At one point, yes her youngest was one.  But now she’s five.

Ricky: burp, fart.  Oh skooz me.

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I prolly already mentioned this and I don't know if he'll have time of course, but if he does.  I'm gonna see if Brad'll take me to Target so I can get that thing while we're out on Friday.  He might not have time, but if he does, I think I just want to pick up that thing.  And I want to pick up a little something for that baby that was just born at church.  Not something big.  Just a little something.  Maybe a couple of bibs.  Not something big mind you.

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She wanted to talk about troubled congressman (now ex-congressman) Weiner.  (of course she wanted to talk about Weiner).  She wanted to know why if Bill Clinton didn’t step down, why does he have to?  (These are the things she spends her days pondering)

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A random non-sequitur
Ricky:  …. Well if you have a good job like that…. you know like Senator or even President. 

Me:  Um yes, both Senator and President are good jobs.


On the republican debate
Nick Romney did pretty good.  Tim Polenty did okay.  That woman, Back-man (that rhymes with pac-man) and all of them want to get out of Iraq and now they are having problems with Israel.  Oh not Israel, I mean Syria.

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I prolly already mentioned this and I don't know if he'll have time of course, but if he does.  I'm gonna see if Brad'll take me to Target so I can get that thing while we're out on Friday.  He might not have time, but if he does, I think I just want to pick up that thing.  And I want to pick up a little something for that baby that was just born at church.  Not something big.  Just a little something.  Maybe a couple of bibs.  Not something big mind you.

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On dating…
I’m gonna let Tom (her Son-in-law) put my name on the computer.  Not for.. “you know” (whispered).  You know what I mean right?  But just for a friend.


On my guacamole...
That gwarcome.. or.. mole-ie  or gwarolie… whatever.. it could be havit (spelling intentional) forming.

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She takes a bunch of medications and she has one that she has to peel the foil off the back and then put the pill in this inhaler thingy but every single night she tries to rip open the package which is damn near impossible and by the time she’s bent it all to hell it’s then one millions times as hard to just peel the stuff off the back.  And if you’re the forgetful kind once you (or I) get the damn pill out of the little package you just pop it in your mouth until I shout “You don’t put that in your mouth you put it in the thingy”  and she spits it out and says “oh, that’s right… burb. fart.  Oh skooz me.”

10 comments:

Theresa aka Tessie Rose said...

Rolling on the floor laughing!

Dawnya said...

I think I just peed myself laughing at this. I can't stand it. That lady needs help. But if she gets help then I won't be able to laugh at this mess.

Please post more....please.

You should just walk around with a tape recorder and then post the audio. LOL

vickyd said...

Am I the only one who saw Ricky's name in the post title and got all excited? Surely, I'm not.

This was my much needed comic relief for the day!

Laura Belle said...

Dying! Rolling! OMG, the tears streaming down my face!

I can't stop laughing.

Crying some more.

Yep, still giggling.

You just made my day.

~Lisa~ said...

Ohhh this is too funny!! hahahaha - wayyy too funny!! I like Dawnya's idea - get this on tape, on film!!

-Grace- said...

Sitting in my cube, crying from laughter! LOL

Cat said...

Yeah, you just made me laugh out loud (loud!) and for a while in my cube at work. They are probably sending my pink slip via inter office mail. /nod /nod

Annie said...

I love to see Ricky's name in a post! Thanks for making my lunch break!!
xioxoxoxox

Ronnie said...

Teehee. She's so classy. :)

Rahshell said...

I'm cracking up!! Hubby is looking at me like I'm a mad woman!!