Friday, June 10, 2011

BYOC!!! Bring Your Own Crazy!!

It’s Friday so that means it’s BYOC day – Bring Your Own Crazy….to five questions we all answer in an effort to get to know each other better and to give our blog brains a break! Copy and paste to your own blog and ENJOY!


1. How and why did you first start blogging? And how long have you been blogging?

I started my family blog a few years ago.  I did it, I think, just because I didn't want to forget some things.  When I tell my mom a funny, or sweet, or cute story about the kids - from their birth she's always said "You should write that down!"  And I had a few notes here and there, but then I thought a blog would be a good way to "write them down".  Also Brad's family is all from NY and we live in MD so I thought it would be a way for them to keep up with what's going on with the kids.  Then for a while I had a kinky blog too... LOL.  Then after I got the band and I was wanting to "talk" to others who also had it, but not sure how to go about doing that a big, huge, honkin', light bulb went off - "hey dork, I bet there are people who blog about their band!" And I found you guys and the rest is history.  I don't write much in either of the other two very much anymore, though if there is something particularly noteworth (think turtle masacre) I will copy it over to my family blog too.

 2. Tell me about your perfect mate – if you could invent him/her?

(I hate you Draz - ok I love you, but still... I swear you peer into my life sometimes and find out what's going on - on that particular Friday - before you come up with your questions.)


In all honesty.  I am turned on by confidence.  A man who knows who he is and what he's about and isn't going to appologize for any of it.  I love laughter and connection.  I want to be put first - to know without a second's thought that I'm the most important person in their world.  I want to be treated like a queen, but someone who can stand up to me and tell me to get the hell over myself when that's what I need or what I deserve.  I want strength and passion and fairness, but lots of testosterone. 

3. Do you wear fake eyelashes? Do you want to? Do you use glue or self-stick ones? Do you like how they look?

I've never worn them and never thought about wearing them.  It seems like a pain in the ass to me, but the only makeup I ever wear is a little eye liner and some mascara.  Occassionally I'll go really crazy and wear some tinted Bert's Bee's lip balm.

4. Let’s say money was no object and neither was time off to recover – are you an advocate of plastic surgery after weight loss?

I absolutely believe in PS for whatever reason someone wants it.  I have always, long before I got the band, said I was going to get a breast lift, but I've wanted to wait until I got my weight closer to where it should be.  I was always afraid I'd have it done and then gain and/or lose weight and they'd get saggy again.  They've never been the perkiest things in the world, and they're big.  And every time I gain weight my boobs get bigger and when I lose weight they don't get smaller.  So now they're even bigger and I breastfed two children so they are even less perky than they used to be.  As soon as I'm somewhere near a weight I think I'll be comfortable with for the rest of my life I'll be making the appointment.  After that, we'll just have to see how my body reacts to the weigth loss.  If I'm too saggy somewhere, or there's too much skin, I won't hesitate to get additional PS.

5. Repeat question. Summarize your week in blog land and in real life.

Blog life has been good.  I'm not completely caught up, but I'm getting there.  I changed the names on my blog roll of everyone Stephanie has listed as confirmed for Chicago.  If they're confirmed their name starts with a B for BOOBs.  Just that little things has made me even more excited about it!!

Real life sucks big wonky dicks (whatever the hell that means.)  And really it doesn't.  I'm crazy busy - almost too busy to wallow.  This week on Monday we had a play for Jackson during school followed by a chorus concert for Teddy, Tuesday was the band concert for Teddy, Wednesday I went out with a good friend of mine and that was SOOO needed.  Thursday was baseball practice for Jack and Teddy's first ultimate frisbee practice.  Tonight we have another play for Jackson and then I'm going to try to find someone to go out and play with because I do not want to be near my husband right now. 

He's been living with his head burried in the sand about what's going on with us for months and months now; pretending as if everything is normal - not commenting or reacting in anyway to the fact that our sex life no longer exists, that I now give him my cheek if he wants to kiss me.  (We used to be a very firey passionate couple - the kids have been grossed out by our kitchen make out sessions far more times than I could count).  I won't go into the background of this - but today I discover he's planning for me not to be involved in the comic book convention that I've helped plan and execute for years.  I discover this when we were talking about scheduling our vacation this summer and he says - well if we do it that week you and Jack could go up on Saturday and Teddy and I couldn't follow until Monday.  (Saturday night is the night of the main banquet and awards ceremony that I've planned for the last several years).  I stared at him for a few minutes not understanding what he was saying until finlly the light dawned and I said - Am I not doing the show this year?  And he said - well I assumed you wouldn't want to based on various things.  I was completely stunned for a thousand different reasons.  But I calmly picked up my bags to leave for the office and said to him (very calmly) - "You are going to let this marriage fail because you are living over there in your head assuming all kinds of things and not bothering to find out the truth of any of them.  You are just going to ignore it all until I walk out the door.  And that will be the day you realize you should have done something - anything - talked to me in some way.  That will be the day you will want to go to counseling because you're suprised I'm leaving."  And then just as calmly I walked out the door and got in my car.  He said something to me as I was leaving but I didn't hear it.  Then he followed me out and wanted to talk to me, but I just drove away leaving him in the driveway.  Then I put on that awful Darius Rucker song and cried.

11 comments:

Linda said...

You know you can always call me if you need to get out/away/whatever...
I have a little deck to sit on and we always have lots of wine and gin.

Ronnie said...

Men can be so stupid. (Well, women, too. But you know what I mean.) Maybe you saying that will actually get him to thinking, you never know.

Also, a kinky blog? LOL Awesome. We may need the link.

Amanda said...

mmmmm gin!

I am with Linda! Wine and Gin!

I am sorry you are going though stuff with the hubs! I know it has been on going. I am looking forward to meeting you in Chicago! We will all need a good break by then!

Laura Belle said...

Ohhh, hon. I so wish you weren't going through the bad times with your hubby. BUT! I am so proud of you to tell him EXACTLY what needed to be said. Unfortunately, he may not 'get it' because men are clueless, but at least you put it out there! It seems like you are working so hard at this and he is working so little. Just know that you are trying to do the best you can and you can never make the other person change. They have to change themselves. (And they always figure that out way too late.)
XOXO!!!

Theresa aka Tessie Rose said...

My heart hurt reading that last part! I'm sorry. Come for a visit down South, I plan a big party just for you!!

Dawnya said...

He is the first person on my list!!! I do not like to hear that you are hurting. The pain associated with watching your relationship fall apart is not something I would wish on my worst enemy.

You told him straight up what is going on. You spoke your peace. If he does not fight for his family, then he will be to blame.

There is only so much you can do.

I'm going to e-mail you.

♫ Drazil ♪ said...

Well shit. I need to say I'm sorry for BYOC....it always brings out the best in you - but makes you feel the worst. I want to shake your husband until he wakes up. You hang in there honey - when Chicago comes we'll sit down and have a long chat about this okay? We'll figure it out...all of us BOOBs. Trust me.

Liz said...

Oh honey...I am so sorry to read this. I am trying to set up another brunch in NYC for when Miss Jacquie is in town...maybe you should come and we will have margs and talk shit about him!

FitBy40 said...

Thinking of you and sending positive vibes for a good weekend and a better week next week!

Jen said...

We should talk on the phone sometime since I suck so bad at e-mail. I hate that you're going through this.

Justawallflower said...

aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh

thats all I have to say. So sorry for what your feeling right now. (((hugs)))