Wednesday, June 8, 2011

A continuation... How to stay in the magical place...

So… let’s continue this conversation, shall we…

You all gave me some wonderful comments to yesterday’s post.  There were a few suggestions – Thanks! – but there were a fair amount of people who were also looking for suggestions to stop the train before it slides off the tracks.  I thought the topic deserved some more attention.

First let me say that thank you for all the supportive comments to me, but the truth is, I’m in a good place right now.  And it’s really only when I’m in a good mental place that I can have these conversations.  If my train has fallen off the tracks I couldn’t or wouldn’t in a million years bring up stuff like this… It’s just another little bit of my insanity.

Along with several commenters, in my “good place” nothing is off limits.  I eat a healthy well balanced diet that meets my goals; protein and calories and vitamins and whatever they might be – the majority of the time.  But if I want some McDonald’s French fries because the bag I just bought my kids smells so good, well I absolutely have a few and I don’t think twice about it.  I don’t later feel guilty, I don’t later feel like I have to atone for my sins.  I am just in a good headspace and know that making something off limits will just make me want it more.  So I have a few of whatever the hell I want and move on.  Ice cream, sure.. Not every day, not a lot.  But if I want some, I have it. 

In this place I exercise regularly and in fact the “rules” I live by are really more about making sure I don’t overdo it.  I will not under any circumstances let myself exercise for 7 days in a row.  (I’m currently not in danger of that at the moment, but have been in the past).  The only thing I insist upon of myself is enough rest.  But I find, in this magical place, that I’m looking for ways and times I can get my exercise in.  It’s just such a part of who I am. 

“Man, I’m going out with Lisa tonight, so I better do it in the morning.”  “I’m going to be up so late tonight that I better sleep a little later and do it after work, after I get the dinner on the table for the kids.”  Those are thoughts that run around my head.  I’m sure many of you are familiar with them.

So all in all – for me this magical place is an overall healthy place to live.  I am thinking healthy – no big rules, no obsessions, no “You. Can. Not. Have. That.s”, no good food and bad food, no you are good and you are bad.  I eat well, I sleep well, I exercise well.  I don’t worry about every little thing.  I’ve lived here for years at a time.  But….

Eventually the train slides off the tracks.  And I can always feel it coming.  It’s when it’s been going well for too long, when I’ve been too successful that the little devil on my shoulder kicks my ass.

So let’s have a little group exercise… Anyone in for it?

It happens to most of us – the falling off the wagon so to speak  - we’re all smart, powerful, beautiful people – let’s try and come up with some strategies that we can try and see if they work to both stop it before it starts and to get us back to where we want to be when we’re floundering.

Some suggestions we’ve already had are:

  • Have hours of sex (personally this is my favorite but sadly not an option for me at the moment)
  • Ask the 'healthy you' what to do in a given circumstance
  • Give yourself a stern talking to
  • Just decide you’re not going to give in to the bad decision(s) you’ve just made and get back up on that horse and move on
  • Blog or journal about it – asking for help
I remember a long time ago using a technique that worked for the most part… Whenever I’d start to have a negative thought.  “I’m a failure”, “I think I should make a cake so I can eat the cake batter”, “I need four pounds of chocolate” – that kind of thing, you yell (or at least internally yell) NO!  And immediately start thinking of something else.  Like the laundry you have to do, or an issue at work, or the friend you’re going out with tomorrow night.  Until your mind has truly and completely moved onto the other topic.  I haven’t done that in a long, long while – but I swear it did help me move past any negative thoughts once upon a time.

I’d love it if you’d add any old thing you can think of to the list.  Let’s come up with a list of possibilities to try.  Maybe they won’t work.  But I bet, some of them will work for some of us!!

Thanks so much!!


Linda said...

I don't know if I can add to the list, but to me putting out the call and acknowledging that you're slipping down the slippery slope is good. In the past when I was in my bell jar eating doritos and m&m's I would never acknowledge it. Really for me just getting the band was me acknowledging the horrible behaviors.
Let me know if you want to get together soon. Maybe we can force Bonnie to invite to her pool. :)

Bonnie said...

Ha! No forcing necessary. You guys are always welcome. Sorry I've been such a crappy blogger friend lately. Luckily I've been staying pretty much the same. Unluckily, I've been staying pretty much the same.