Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Sex positions as exercise.....

My friend's husband decided to go online to find a sexual position they had never tried in an effort for a little added fun for the night.  She and I were IMing at the time and she figured he was going to get himself all worked up then he'd pull her  to their room where they'd have sex in a position they were very familiar with.... She was perfectly happy with whatever position(s) they ended up in.

Lo and behold he found one......

It's called The Pair of Tongs.



My first reaction was, and I quote, "Why?  Seriously, why?"  But then... I thought about it.  Have sex and tone your arms at the same time.  You'd have to flip over to the other arm half way through, but clearly it can be done.  Since you're already in that position you could (and seriously I mean you, cuz there's no way in hell I could manage this) also do some one armed, sideways push ups.  Seriously, think of the marketing.  I bet Joey could come up with a hell of a campaign around this new exercise regiment.  Feel the burn then feel the spasms.  See, I'm no good at this.  I'll do the books for the millions we'll rake in, but someone else is going to have to come up with the right angle.  (all puns intended)

17 comments:

Bec said...

LMAO classic. I'm sure any bloke in question would cum at the idea and be more than happy to experiment the different sexercises.

Something About Kellie said...

OMG I totally had to read this post JUST because of the picture!!!!

That will have to be a goal of mine ;) get skinny enough to ACTUALLY do that position!!!

Donut Butt said...

I love you Read...I really do. I'm not a very good commenter but I read your blog religiously. I just had to tell you thank you for the laugh....and not so much for planting crazy ideas in my husband's head. I showed him this and he wants to call my trainer in the morning to see if she can start getting me in shape to do this. I am never going to hear the end of this. LOL

Amber said...

This is so funny that you brought this up because I was totally thinking about this yesterday. I usually track my exercise through SparkPeople and was wondering if I could count sex as exercise. I would say so...thanks for the laugh!

Tina said...

Doh! i laughed and then thought..well that doesn't look comfortable for either person involved..he is way up on his toes and she..man all i can think is arm cramp! I Like the idea of swings and things more :)

xxxooo

Dizzy Girl said...

Saw the pic and immediately had to click on the post. I'M WITH YOU READ...WHY??? Who cares about my arms, I feel like my neck would hurt after awhile. HILARIOUS though!!!!! Thanks for the laugh

Alison said...

Don't understand the fuss! This is regular Tuesday night stuff for us in England.
Just imagine the woman weighing 200 + some pounds and the man with a hairy back and you have me and this husband!

~Lisa~ said...

I truly laughed out loud reading this post!! I can't even imagine.. Words fail me!

Ohhhh I would have to lose more than my goal amount to even THINK of doing anything like this without landing my well endowed derriere in traction!!

Banded Mommy said...

Aaahahahahaha! Way too funny!!

Michelle said...

I totally agree with Kellie...a great goal is to actually be thin enough and fit enough to do a position like that! haha Great post!! Thanks for sharing!

Lee Ann said...

Sexercise!

There's an iPhone app with all kinds of crazy positions that are hilarious. Hey, for 99 cents, it's worth a laugh at least. The names are especially funny.

Lyla said...

That just looks like a very bad idea. You can break a penis, you know. :)

Drazil said...

First I want to say who the hell names these positions? Second I want to say it's not that unusual. We do that at least 3x a week. We're pros. You should see us do the pizza cutter.

Miss Vickie "The Queen Bee" said...

Ummm, sorry but my hands and wrists would fall asleep in that position. You know us old folks and carpel tunnel syndrome! Hysterical as usual, Read

Bonnie said...

Very funny and kind of scary.

Ronnie said...

I'm gonna have to try that one with one of my beaus - err, once I hit goal weight anyway! I seriously doubt I could hold my 242 lbs ass up in the air on arm for the 2 minutes it'd take for any man I date to finish. LOL

Jess said...

I've actually attempted this and my wrist gave out in like 20 seconds. Obviously if I can barely do a regular plank in pilates/yoga this wouldn't work! haha CRAZY!