Friday, February 18, 2011

A pity party and the man of steel... sort of.

I've got these two posts rumbling around in my brain - and one's about annoyance and having a little pity part and the other is about scary things like feeling vulnerable.  Which one do you think I chose today?

So... I'm totally annoyed.  I keep seeing people I haven't seen in a while and think someone will notice I've lost 40lbs AND I keep having these annoying conversations where people are talking about how they've recently lost weight and no one, okay almost no one - my husband, my best friend, my mother and my sister have all noticed.  Of course they know me best so they have a little handicap in that area and my husband and sister both know... so it's not actually no one.

I hate, hate, hate being the center of attention (unless I'm in complete control and using my antics to distract you from really seeing me - but that's a whole different thing - maybe part of the other post).  So really I don't like it when people comment or say things about my weight.  Part of the reason is then it is confirmed that they had previously noticed I was fat(er).  I'd just as soon we all pretend that's not true, okay?  But mostly it's because I just don't want to be the focus of the conversation - of the attention - of anything. 

But when I got near about 30 lbs down I did my best to become prepared for the inevitable comments that were to come at some point.  I know I won't like it, but it's human nature so I can suck it up and say thank you very much.. or yes, I've been watching what I eat and exercising more... yadda yadda yadda. 

But jesus h christ... nada... nothing... zip, zilch, and zero.  I feel like I'm sitting here ready, hanging on the edge of something, geared up for the appropriate reponse and it's never going to come. 

I'm sure it has something to do with losing as slowly as I am, but still.  I was at the copier yesterday with a coworker who has had this cronic problem with her knee and had to be on steriods for several years.  Several months ago they discovered this other medication that is working miraculously for her and she was able to stop using the steriods.  She was talking about what a relief it was that she didn't have to take them anymore and how she had lost 30 lbs since October because of it.  Can you believe it, 30 lbs!  It's amazing, I feel great.... Uh, yeah.  I can kind of imagine it since I've just lost FORTY you freaking moron.  And no, I've not said anything to her, but if I had been talking about my weight to her, I certainly would have commented on hers. 

Today, in the office, I'm wearing regular size pants and they fit great.  Several months ago I was wearing size 20W and they were tight.  Do I still have a long way to go, absolutely, but hello...

Then I was at a parent teacher conference (Draz totally gave me the push to go as I ususally let Brad handle them) yesterday and we went and talked to Teddy's 5th grade teacher from 2 years ago.  I'm probably 30lbs less than the last time she saw me, unless we've passed in the halls or something.  And she immediately starts talking about this great program she and many of the other staff are using at the school called gameon - there's even a website and you get points for eating well and exercising - She's lost 10lbs, she's walking 1 1/2 miles a day.  She feels great!    If I'm ever interested in something like that she highly recommends it. 

okay yeah, thanks.  I did 2 miles at 6 this morning, but I'll definitely keep it in mind.

I like both of these women very much.  Neither of them are snarky or bitchy in the least.  They both were just honestly talking about what's going on with them. 

I totally know I look different.  I'm going to have to post some before and now (I'm stealing that from Angela) pictures.  It's getting annoying people.  Okay, pity party officially over (for now).

On a totally different topic.  I'm getting ready for work this morning and into the bathroom walks my husband.  Wearing only underwear, this is not new.  Superman underwear - this... this is new.  OMG I laughed so hard.  I got a hold of myself and started to put on my makeup only to turn around to ask him a question and then lost it all over again.  They are deep superman blue with a bright red waistband.  I posted a picture back in December when he bought them.  I had tears streaming down my face.  He left the room and came back in wearing plain, ordinary underwear. 

Why did you change? I asked him.  Because you were laughing at me.  Okay now I felt badly.  But honey, funny's not bad, it's just funny.  The last time I saw someone wearing superman underwear, I'm pretty sure Jackson was about four.  Okay, he said feeling a little better.  Geesh!


LDswims said...

I didn't start getting comments at 30lbs either. It really was closer to 50 for me. Now, at 60, I keep hearing "You've changed your's shorter than the last time I saw you". I'm growing it no, it's not shorter!

It's frustrating to not get the affirmation - and to even hear tips on what to do - I'd smack 'em and say, here, let me tell YOU what to do, your jackness!

But we play nice... :)

Love the underoo story! Too funny!!!

Lee Ann said...

First---I need to know where to buy adult superman underwear. ROFLMAO. I know someone who might like a pair. He'll pretend not too, but he will secretly, I'm sure of it.

Second---Yes, I know what you mean about peeps not noticing. What the frick? My MIL---who ALWAYS notices people's weights----did not say ONE WORD to me at Christmas and she hadn't seen me since June. Surely she noticed? I mean, c'mon! Furthermore, she asked if I'd heard that Weight Watchers had changed their plan around and suggested I give it a try. I cussed her out in my head.

Susan said...

I could have written your posts on the lack of comments. Although I am only down 32 and started higher than you so not as noticeable - not one person has commented - other than people who know I have had the surgery. I think that at my weight - still being so heavy people are just embarrassed to say anything because I still have so much more to go. But I will get there - and then we'll see the comments!

tessierose said...

People who weren't in my family did not notice until I was 45 pounds down, then from 45 to 50, you would think I'd lost 50 more, people were just commenting constantly, it's the weirdest thing. I feel you on this one for sure, just be ready when the damm breaks, it goes fast! And my husband has Superman underwear, I bought them for him, and some with Napoleon Dynamite doing his sweet dance moves right accross the willy area, love, love, love it!

~Sandi @ This one time at 'band' camp... said...

Ohhhhh, I think we all know how you feel...I am roughly 35 down and some people, and I mean some have said and noticed...depends on if I have seen them lately or a very long time ago!

I have certainly noticed a difference in myself and I am certain you have seen the difference in yourself so keep going! Put some side by side pictures up and then you'll see, I did it!


Lyla said...

You are not alone. It took a long time for people to notice and *comment*-- 80 lbs, really.

It could also be that people are talking to you about their own weight loss knowing that you've lost weight too but not wanting to directly comment on it. Maybe they are inviting you to disclose your own loss by talking about their own.

Jess said...

I have the opposite issue. Everyone I work with knows I got banded so it's like they feel it's their duty to tell me all the time how skinny I look. It gets old too sometimes. I am like could you save the comments for when I have actually lost more weight???

I can understand your frustrations. My husband just now started really "noticing" by body changing. I have only lost like 31lbs though.

Ronnie said...

Only one person EVER has noticed my weight loss, well...except the few people who know about my surgery. It sucks. :( I feel like I'm doing all the good and no one even notices. Not that I'm doing it for other people, but I feel ya... a little recognition would be nice!

Bonnie said...

I'm totally going through the same thing. Although strangely enough some of my family members commented to my husband that they could tell I lost weight. When my husband asked why they didn't tell me directly they said "She said not to say anything." Umm, I told them not to say anything to anybody else about my surgery, not to not say anything about how they can tell I'm losing weight.

Tina said...

They are totally noticing..I know that because I heard after the fact that I was the topic of conversation among many of my friends and family but they were all to nervous about saying anything to me.

Whether it is a touch of jealously, worrying about my reaction, afraid of it being perceived as impolite or just jinxing things for me I am not positive (probably all of the above with different people).

Another thing I have noticed is that people (strangers) don't really look at you when you are overweight. They look and then look away really fast. Very much like one does when someone is in a wheel chair or has some other handicap. I thin it is out of a desire to be polite. Now that I am thin they look me in the eye all of the time and it is sometimes creepy.

They will eventually speak up.


Rachel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
amandakiska said...

I've actually heard several people mention this very same issue when they were about 30-40 lbs. down - no one noticed. At about 40 lbs. down I suddenly begin hearing comments. Soon after I couldn't go anywhere without having someone say something. It got annoying. I predict that very soon you're going to have the same experience!

Liz said...

For me, it's the people who I don't see regularly who I want to beat over the head with something. It's like "Really??? I didn't look a whole hell of a lot bigger the last time you saw me???" I don't expect it as much from those who see me all the time, but I seem to get more comments from them.

Nicole said...

people are so strange..I have lost 100lbs and their are people that haven't said's like REALLY?? Believe me a flip will switch and you won't know what to do with the comments.

FitBy40 said...

I just had this issue tonight at my kids swim lessons! Another mom who hadn't been there in a couple weeks walked in and one of the instructors came over to specifically tell her how great she looked and ask her how she's losing so much weight! Yes, she did look thinner, but HELLO...43 pounds over here! Not a word. Oh well, I guess we do it for ourselves, and our health, to hell with them, right?!

Sandy Lee said...

So you have superman in your bathroom this morning and you laugh. Why didn't you just remove them and have a Lois Lane moment. Geesh, you youngun's.

I posted the exact same thing about no one noticing. But we do so get you some pics up. I remember when I told my SIL that I had lost 40 pounds and she said she had too. She did look great and had only gained the weight for about 6 months but why can't anyone notice. My sister told me years ago it is because people know we will just regain the weight so why bring attention to it. They are soooo wrong. The band will prove them all wrong.

Beth Ann said...

People are weird. I didn't get many comments until about 50 pounds. But people who saw me 75 pounds down, then made a big deal when I was 80 down. Like that 5 pounds was the kicker. I just don't get it.

Kelly said...

Superman underwear? I proly wouldve laughed too! But you know what - you don't need validation from other people to know that you're losing weight. People will notice eventually, believe me!

Dinnerland said...

People often don't know what to say, so they don't say anything.
I haven't had an onslaught of comments, but recently, I've had a bunch of people notice my weight loss. One of them only mentioned it to my husband for fear of offending me... so you see: I'll bet people can see, but they don't want to insult you.
Hang in there!!

~Lisa~ said...

I think they ARE noticing - and not commenting. Folks are talking to you about their own weight loss programs, maybe hoping you'll spill yours.. Just a thought..

I totally need to find the Hubs some Superman undies!!

Drazil said...

Poptart. Can I just say that I don't care what you weigh? I want to poke your eyes out with a fork and steal your gorgeous curly red hair and your tiny little face? That being said - it is nice when people notice...BUT God - when they do I feel so dumb. I want to crawl under a rug and tell them to stop noticing. I can never win. I used to literally keep a journal of comments and dates of when people said on bad days I could go back and read it. Oh and Superman - dude - I can top that. Miller Lite and Grinch underwear for Rambo. Hot tomale huh?