Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Dirty men and smooth lady towns????

I spent some time on the treadmill this morning and was in a fantastic mood.  I came upstairs to find Brad still dripping from his shower.  We shared some easy conversation as I prepared for my own shower.  He was gone getting Teddy ready for the bus before I got in.

I get in there and first find I need to move stuff around as people have pushed all the tubes and bottles, no matter to whom they belong, into one big messy pile – seriously folks.  See both boys use our shower instead of their own – it’s just not on my current list of battles to fight – so there’s a lot of shit in there.  But okay, no biggie, I get things organized – which really means all my shit on the right and organized and everyone else’s shit on the left.  I smile as I see my hair removal cream (which I learned about from Jen) which until recently had been kept in the back on the left, but I’ve turned over a new leaf – as I like my husband again – I’m thinking I’ll continue to remove the hair that he doesn’t like getting stuck in his mouth.  Okay. Phew.  Done.

Now I’m minding my own business, singing the hell out of Steel Magnolia which is an entirely different story while getting myself all nice and clean.  I always start with my hair, do you?  So hair done I reach for the soap.  Um.  Where’s the soap?  Brad was just in here it’s got to be around here somewhere.  No doubt the piece was getting small, but there should still be a plenty big enough piece for me to use.  I promise I’ll put a new one in when I’m done – God knows no one but me would remember to do that, right?  And sure, there are bath gels and smelly things in there that I could use, but I’m looking for my freakin’ Dove.  Where the hell is it?

There’s no fucking soap in the shower.  My mood is now suffering, okay really it wasn’t – I was just confused and amazed at how someone could use the rest of the soap and not replace it.  There’s a linen closet with plenty of soap in it roughly two feet from the shower – and that’s only because the door opens into the shower, so you have to go all the way to the other side of the door, otherwise you could seriously reach right into the closet from the shower if you were so inclined.  And I guess that would get everything inside all wet and that’s why the door opens the way it does – but I digress.

So I hop out of the shower, dripping all over the damn place and get a new bar of soap and start the song “Not Tonight” over and finish the shower – all done.

I totally forgot about the soap thing until I got to work and what follows is my actual IM conversation with my husband….

Me: hi
Him: hey
Me: Did you shower this morning?
Him: yes
Me: Before me?
Him: yes
Me: Did you happen to notice there was no soap?
Him: no.  I use a lot of shampoo
Me: you don't use soap?
Him: not every day
Me: you use shampoo to clean yourself with?  OMG (I'm shaking my head)
Him: I also forget to wash my hair some days, while standing in the shower
Me: OMG, who the hell are you?
Him: I am odd
Me: yes
Him: that last one does not happen a lot
Me: well that's something

I’m totally rethinking the hair removal thing.


Amanda said...


What is this hair removal product of which you are speaking?

tessierose said...

Ha ha!!!

Jen from Oregon said...


Jen said...

Magic Shave Cream...I almost partook last evening (but decided I still need my fur coat for winter).

Smooth Lady Town - I love the new phrase.

Ha, my 11 (soon to be 12 y/o) has your husband beat. The other day I asked her if she was out of body wash. She said out of WHAT? Body Wash, I say. The stuff you use instead of soap to wash your body. She looked at me like I was an alien. She hasn't been using any. OMG!! I thought I taught her better than that. I'm horrified! I'm not kidding you - she takes 3 hour baths. She reads, plays DS, iPod. She washes her hair, shaves her legs, but forgets to WASH HER body? Oh My Goodness. A mothers job is never done.

Miss Vickie "The Queen Bee" said...

I love reading our blog! You have the cutest stories!

Anonymous said...

LOL!! Your posts crack me up, Read. We finally got our boys out of our bathroom and into their own, which was a huge undertaking, but it sure stays cleaner in our bathroom now. LOL!

This one time at 'band' camp... said...

OMG, I almost had a mental picture...could you warn a girl next time!?! Bawahahaha

Love it!


Justawallflower said...

I actually have tears coming out of my eyes! that is priceless! although I do have to admit, I have washed my hair twice in one shower before because I couldn't remember if I had or not! shhhh, don't tell anyone!

LDswims said...

That's hilarious! That's awesome!!!

But ok, being serious for a dermatologist actually told my husband to use his shampoo for a face wash and even shoulders/chest soap as it would help reduce the oils in his skin better than a true soap would. So maybe your husband is just being smart and listening to the doctor - even though he hasn't talked to a doctor...or listened. :) (Course, it's only true for Head and Shoulders, anyway...)

amandakiska said...

Love it!

Banded Mommy said...

HAHAhahahahaha!! Ohh men. Can't live with them and can't shoot them!! Too funny.p

~Lisa~ said...

Ohhh heavens - that was way too funny!!! Having shared the bathroom with three men, I KNOW your pain!!

Lee Ann said...

Bwahahahahaha! Thanks for making me laugh.

Sandy Lee said...

I think they need to bring back soap on a rope. They never learn. I put every bar of soap in the shower because that conversation-it would be the same between DH and I. But it is kinda funny. You need some organizers for the shower! Next project.

Shannon said...

lol, my hubby is the same way. gotta love em. quirks and all :D

Drazil said...

Oh God - not the magic shave cream.....I'm a shaver - that cream takes too damn long.

Bonnie said...

This is one of the reasons hubby and I each have our OWN soap bars. :)

Beth Ann said...

Oh girl, that's funny. One thing about being single...I always have plenty of soap!

Lynda said...

HaHa! I recently found out that my husband doesn't always wash his feet with soap. He thinks the soap that washes of his body cleans his feet when he stands in it.