There were 106 and now there are 105. Someone doesn't like me anymore. It's very, very sad. I thought we had a good thing going. There was laughter and frivolity. I thought I meant more than that. I thought I was important. I thought we had a future.
You know, it's hard. It's hard when you love someone and they don't love you back. It's hard when you try to be the best you can be and find out... sometimes it's just not good enough. Sometimes what you are, who you are, what you have to offer - just aren't what the other person wanted or needed.
I know after some time has passed I'll be better able to put this in perspective, but right now.... it's just really hard. I want what we had before. When it was going well. When we were stronger. There was laughter. There were smiles. There was a real connection.... or maybe that was just me. I thought we had a real connection. Maybe that's what this all boils down to - I need to get a better handle on what 'connection' means. I guess it means more to me than it did to them.
I know I'll survive this hit. It's just going to take some time. Sniff sniff.