Saturday, October 29, 2011

Tommy-isms

Dan's been gone for the whole week and has finally come home at about 8pm last night.

I yell down to the basement where Tommy is playing video games;

Daddy's home and he brought you some tacos.

Tom:  I'm not hungry for tacos, the other dinner filled me up (which is a first in recent times)

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A half hour or so later
The house is clean -it happens rarely, but last night it was clean.  The floors had been washed - all was right in the world.

Jason is watching TV.  Dan is eating his late dinner and I'm doing a little clean up.  Tommy finally comes upstairs after finally being able to rip his eyeballs away from the video game.  He greets his dad and then makes himself a bowl of ice cream which is, in and of itself, pretty remarkable as his "I can do it all by myself" skills suck.  So... yay for him.  He goes to the freezer to get the ice cream, goes and gets a bowl.  Eventually had to get a spoon, go to throw something away then to the sink, then to the table to eat.  After a couple of minutes I look up and realize he has tracked little bits of dried mud to and from all the places he had just been.  He's wearing basketball shoes with little ridges that are creating these little rectangular bits of dirt.  There are very specific paths of dirt - up from downstairs, to the freezer, to the cabinets and drawers, to the sink and trashcan and it ends at the table where he's now sitting.

Me:  Oh man, Tom you've been tracking mud all over the place. (I point out all the tracks he's just made.  I'm not mad about it at all, he didn't mean to do it and I'm about to make him clean it up.)  When you're done your ice cream I need you to go get the broom and clean it up.

Him: OH. MY. GOD. (big, sorry-for-myself sigh) You don't even know that it was me!!!  It could have been Jason!


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Now it's a new day and it's snowing here in MD.  Let me repeat that for you... It's snowing here in MD.  It's not snowing in WY where my friend Farrah is and frankly she's laughing at me.  But still... it's a new day.  And Tommy is being an annoying not so little teenager.  Especially to his brother.  Jason wants nothing more than to do what Tommy's doing and Tommy is doing the whole bait and switch thing over and over.  Tommy says he's going outside... so Jason gets ready to go too.  Then when Jason tells Tommy he's ready Tommy says - I'm not going outside it's pouring right now (the snow switched over to a nice rain/ice mix for a bit) and this is said with a perfect "you're an idiot" tone.  Like OMG what kind of freak would want to go out in this kind of weather.  That was the last one I was willing to hear so I call Tommy up to me where I'm typing this little blog about him.

Me: I have not liked your attitude all day today and it's still early yet.  You're making Jason crazy and you're doing it on....

Tommy: Mom, I have...

Me: ...purpose  (OMG I hate to be interrupted) KEEP YOUR MOUTH CLOSED WHILE I'M TALKING TO YOU. You keep telling....

Tommy: you're totally right

Me: ...him one thing and then doing another.  uh?  wait, what?  what did you say?

Tommy: you're right.  I'm not telling him the right stuff.  I'm changing my mind on purpose.  But I swear I haven't actually lied to him.

Me: (well knock me over) - Can you please stop that - it's just going to make him crazy and then mad and then frustrated and he'll be crying and there's no need to go there.

Tommy: yeah, I'll stop.  I'm sorry.

Me:  Okay, good.  And thanks.

Tommy turns to leave but stops at the door and looks back at me...

Tom: OMG - that was SO much easier!!!

Me:  I know, let's keep doing it like that.

Tom: (grinning) we'll see.

Maybe there's hope for him yet....

6 comments:

Ronnie said...

Uh-oh, you accidentally let a real name slip in the second Tommy-ism. :)

Love this, hope mine are that cute at his age.

Gilly said...

Know where else it's not snowing? CANADA!!! Suck on THAT! HA!

Tina said...

GEEZZ it is SNOWING!!! that just really sucks big time. I love it that he tried the agree with you tactic. What a great marriage skill you are helping him develop (haha)

xxxooo

Robyn's Nest said...

He sounds like a great kid.
We are getting the snow in PA too. Unbelievable.

Dawnya said...

Okay...can you please just set up a video camera in your house...and email me the footage. Those kids are hilarious.

Justawallflower said...

Um, this is too good! Can you have hime call my child and let her know "how much easier it is"? Too funny!