Tuesday, October 4, 2011

BOOBs 2011 - my take. And a couple of Ricky-isms

So… Let’s talk about BOOBs 2011, shall we?

Okay… first of all, to all of you who went and either lost or didn’t gain – poo on you.  Well, I suppose I could say I lost or didn’t gain as there’s no fucking way I’m going anywhere near a scale for at least a week.  My goal this week is to gradually ease myself back into eating like a normal human.  One who doesn’t want to bathe in pumpkin cheesecake quite so intently.  We’ll see how that goes.

But that out of the way.  Wow.  That pretty much sums up the weekend.  I really thought I was going to have all these wonderful and profound thoughts about it – but I’m not sure how to put all that into words.  I was talking with Dawnya last night and she said it was like being with the family you hand-picked and that’s exactly right.  There was just so much universal love and support in our group.  You know, I hear women are just not supposed to be like that.  They (okay we) are supposed to be mean and back-stabby and that’s just not what I encountered.  And yes, of course there were a couple of Debbie Downers in the group who know all and get pleasure out of finding fault – but even that – while hurtful and just plain annoying – was pretty small potatoes compared to the whole.

Where else in your life can you just show up in a city knowing personally a handful of people at most (for all the other first timers) and be immediately welcomed into the fold?  That kind of stuff just plain doesn’t happen in the real world…. Right?  And of course you’ve heard it all before but everyone is just exactly like you knew they’d be based on their blog.  I believe it was Joey that said (and maybe she said it in NY) that it’s kind of like meeting a bunch of celebrities.  We’ve all seen their pictures, heard lots of stories about them, know intimate details about their lives (oh, wait, is that just me?) and then… OMG look!!! Right there!! Coming in the door!!!  It’s Fluffy.  Okay it didn’t work like that for her as she’s totally anonymous but you get what I mean.  I was star struck the whole dang weekend. 

Okay that’s not true.  Because it seems people are just as excited to see you as you are to see them.  It works in both directions in all cases – how frikkin’ cool is that?? 

So… some of my favorite memories in no sane order…
  • Being accepted into the group of women I spent the most time with as if I’d always been there.  I swear I feel as though I’ve known all of them for my whole lives and this was just a super fun reunion weekend. 
  • Having Linda as a roommate who never ceases to make me spit out my coffee laugh at least once a day.  Some of the things that come out of that sweet and loving mouth are just To. Die. For.
  • The hand gestures used to describe the ‘inverted cobra’ – which this innocent mind never did grasp.
  • Being with Drazil as she experienced her first sex shop and struggled to understand what the fuss was all about.
  • OMG – that pumpkin cheesecake – I’m still working on how I could manage to eat just that for the rest of my life.
  • The pictures of me that I discovered on my phone that I have no recollection of – that’s always a fun surprise
  • Tina tipsy
  • The orgasm Gilly had while eating cheesecake at Cheesecake Factory – you can bet your sweet ass I’ll be ordering what she had when I next go there.  I have it on film and will show you all later – I had to receive special permission, but phew, all the paperwork was officially signed.
  • Hanging out with Jessica, Fluffy, and Angela at the karaoke bar that first night.  I want more time with them!
  • The meal we shared at Pizzeria Due – OMG that was fun.  And Kristin was there with us the whole time.  As was Tonya and Kung Fu Panda Bear – they were just all so great!!
  • Bonding with Gilly
  • Making Tessie Rose crazy – hopefully she got how all in fun it was – but man did I have fun trying to get her husband to send me inappropriate pictures.  I can’t tell you how much I love the two of them – but even more how much I love the two of them together.  His comments and hers were always so perfectly in sync and so damn funny!  It was too hard to pass up!
  • Getting to finally meet Deb, Stephanie, Jenny, and Drazil in person who are all just as wonderful and amazing as I knew they’d be.
  • My Color Purple hair done by Dawnya
  • The tears at the end.  It took every damn thing I had not to cry – but I knew if I started I’d have cried all the damn way home and I’ve cried too damn much this year alfuckingready.
  • Stephanie’s skirt tucked into her jeans.
  • The smell of the pie company
  • The smell of the popcorn place
  • How holy fucking funny Dawnya is
  • The whole pajama party
  • Barb’s boobs
  • 4,233 lbs

Some of my favorite quotes;
  • “Ken is huge, he fills a room”  (obviously I’m hoping to meet up with Ken one of these days.)
  • “Frequent Farter”… do you get points for that and what do you get when you redeem them??
  • “Peeing on your feet prevents or cures athlete’s foot” – I’m still debating whether or not I should tell my 13 year old jock this…
  • By Gilly about Dawyna: “I didn’t think I could be shocked, but that girl just keeps shocking me”

There’s no doubt way more that I’m not remembering right at this moment so I’ll add things as I think of them and I’ll work on pictures when I’m home, hopefully this weekend.

One last thing….
I want to say a special heart felt thank you to all the planners for all the hard work, blood, sweat, tears, heart, and soul they put into making such an awe inspiring and special weekend possible for the rest of us.  They do this all without pay and without any special compensation of any kind.  I for one think the rest of us should be paying for their dinners, at the very least, or something along those lines in the future.  And on a personal note – they welcomed me into their fold with open arms and I couldn’t be more humbled and grateful for that.

And now – a couple Ricky-isms

I believe since she’s been at our house I have spent approximately 3 minutes (and I think that’s high) in her presence so there’s not been a lot of opportunity yet..

But still…  So, while we were in Chicago she watched her first football game.  She lay on the couch in her favored position – legs hanging over the arm of the couch, hand in her pants (picture will follow when available) – and looked in the direction of the TV.  Dan (my husband) reports that at the end of the game she looked over to him and said;

Daa-aaan (it’s not a southern thing as she’s from NY, I just think she likes names with two syllables) Are they all black??

I got home from Chicago at about quarter till 9 on Sunday night and after a while I headed upstairs to put Jason (my 10 year old) to bed.  As I get to the top of the stairs for the first time in four days Ricky says to me.

Cam-la (see… the two syllable thing again) – where did Daa-aan put my black bra?  I’m not sure if he dried it or not.  I got all the other laundry he did, it was all folded nice and neat, he’s such a good son.  But can you get me my bra.  I’m not sure where it is.

Um, yes.  Of course I know where it is as I have magical powers and they definitely extend to “sight” as we call it in my coven.  Where I can see things that are happening in my own home when I’m in a whole other part of the country, drinking my ass off – in fact I think the alcohol enhances my special abilities.  And why in God’s name do you need a bra now at 9pm when you’ve already been asleep for a couple of hours??

I told her I’d get back to her.


Fluffy said...

You Ms. Read are the bees knees. Please come visit, have work send you, let me kidnap you (I will pose as sex trade person), or whatever to come to TX.

Justawallflower said...

um, yeah, I'm gonna need pics of Ricky in that exact position! So looking forward to all the posts to follow! And so happy to have gotten to see you. Next time we will have to spend more time together!

Beth Ann said...

My goodness, Read. You make me tear up then crack up...all in one post. Love it and love you!

Kristin50 said...

You my dear are the one who leaves us cracking up! You are funny, sweet and beautiful all wrapped up in the gorgeous red hair!

I miss you!

speck said...

This was such a fun read Read! lol

And I agree with what you said about knowing people you don't know. I can't wait to be a part of this next year.

Angela said...

I will post the pic as soon as I get home. :) And get your ass down to Texas soon so we can all love on you!

Amanda Kiska said...

I'm glad you were able to have such a great time! I've seen some pix of you on fb and you look FAB! I hope I can go next time!

I love reading the things you write. You are a talented lady!

Sandy Lee said...

Did I complain. Did I, did I, did I? Am I not memorable? Please say I wasn't a Debbie Downer.

I am absolutally kidding. It was like seeing a celebrity when I met you. The whole weekend was just fabulous. And I liked Barb's boobs too. What can I say.

♫ Drazil ♪ said...

Please just keep posting these recaps so I can pretend I'm still there mmkkaayy?

Island Bandit said...

As I told you when I met you in person - if you EVER stop with the rickiisms, i'm going to have to hunt you down and do something to you!.
Oh.... and i STILL giggle everytime I picture you doing the Ricky favourite position re-enactment. SO SO SO glad Angela caught that moment on camera!
You are SUCH a beautiful woman!!!!!!!

FitBy40 said...

I'm still in shock that she's from NY! I always pictured her with a very strong, deep southern accent!
You always crack me up.

Becky said...

Lol!! No, poo on you! Go get on your scale :) Btw, thanks for the Chobani! I took 7 home and they all survived to tell the tale, . . . until I ATE them! Ok, so I've got 4 left, but not for long :)

Dawnya said...

I love me some Rickyisms. LOL

Me shock Gilly...that is not effing possible. LOL

Gilly said...

I love your re-telling! Might I add that Dawnya shocking me was in the GOOD way! That chick is awesome sauce!

I loved bonding with you too! Toldja I'd be be velcroed to your side! :)