Generally, I’m not one of those people that hate the dentist. It is what it is and I really like my dentist – in fact, hold on while I add him to next year’s Christmas party invite list… Okay done. – Anyway, I had to go the dentist this morning and I knew going in it wasn’t going to be pleasant but… It was worse than either of us thought it would be. He was doing his thing for more than an hour and now I’m sore, sore, sore. – I just had to whine for a minute. I hope you’ll all take pity on me.
Binding and non-binding fruit
My son ate eight bananas yesterday – seven of them between 3:00 and 5:00 and one after his baseball game at 10ish. He was very proud of himself – and I guess on some level so was I – as he is seriously in that “I’m a growing boy (he’s 12.5 and in the throws of puberty) and am trying to eat you out of house and home” mode – he tends to grab whatever he can put his hands on and often there’s nothing good about what he’s grabbing. So, that he’d choose a fruit is a good thing…. But… I’m thinking there are going to be some residual issues from eight frikkin’ bananas roughly all at once. As someone on Facebook said “He might not poo for a week”.
Ooooohhhhhh riiiiiiggghhhtt. I knew that about bananas. Can you blame a mom from just being happy he was eating fruit instead of chips or chocolate and completely forgetting the potential (non-explosive) side effects of so many bananas? Oops. So after the dentist this morning I stopped at the store and bought four big bags of grapes and will have a conversation with him as soon as he arrives home from school about cause and effect.
I’ve been in a shit mood for days and days – and eating like shit during the shit mood. Well guess what people? I got my period this morning. (palm slap upside my head). I mean it’s not like I have been doing everything I should be doing the rest of the month – but geesh, did I ever think to look at a calendar?? Uh, nope. In fact, I thought it was due this coming weekend and I’ve been thinking I should not have scheduled my appointment with my surgeon this week as this is when I’m usually the tightest (of course there is plenty of recent evidence to suggest that’s not necessarily true). I’ve had plans to get up extra early tomorrow morning; work out, do some laundry, so that when I see him at 9am I’ll have been up for several hours and hopefully a little looser than I might otherwise be at 9am. I checked my calendar where I record such things and I’m a few days late. Since I’ve had the little extra between my cycle visits I guess it’s no wonder I’m all screwed up. But… the point is – the shit mood is gone. Poof. Buh – Bye. And I went back to what was working before and went and got a rotisserie chicken and made a whole shit load of chicken salad and have been eating well for a couple of days too. I so hate when I’m whiney and needy and that’s how I’ve felt for the last week or so – I feel a little better for knowing there was a reason and a little dumber for not being able to have figured that out.
My doctor’s appointment
As I’ve mentioned, I have one tomorrow morning at 9am. My last appointment was on 1/6 where he added 1.5cc after I suggested .1 or .2 and then removed .5 in the office and then on 1/19 he took out another .5cc for a total fill of .5cc. So it’s been three months which it very typical for him – the timing is his choice though I could call the next day and make it in a month I suppose if I wanted to. But a month or two ago I was planning on just having a frank conversation with him about whether or not he could continue to be my doctor. As I believe with a band doctor (even more than most doctors) you have to be able to have frank two way conversations where he listens and believes and takes into account what I say and I do the same for him. And so far that just hasn’t been the case. I’ve identified a different doctor that a friend of mine I met through my current doctor switched to and m PCP recommends – but he’s less convenient so if I don’t have to switch I don’t want to. I don’t feel like I’m being pushed around – I just feel like I have to be fake and stroke his needs so ultimately I can get what I want – which is dead stupid. I’ll end up not telling him something important as I think he’s an idiot.
I really don’t think in the end we’ll have this easy back and forth thing no matter what I do – but I figured perhaps some blunt honesty where I just lay it all out there was worth a try. I’m already fully prepared to leave so it’s not like I feel like I’d be loosing anything.
Anyway – the point is – that I had this conversation all planned out when I was feeling well restricted. Like there’s no need to rush out to this new doctor – there’s no rush to get rid of him. We’ll have this little conversation when I don’t want a fill and it’ll end badly and I’ll never see him again and then I’ll call the other doctor and go from there. But now I feel as though I need a fill so I’m going to go in there and say the things I think he needs to hear (true or false) in hopes that I’ll get one. And as he’s told me in the past the single criteria he would use for getting a fill is lack of weight loss (which is a stupid thing to say, a stupid thing to do, and has proven not true by his actions) and I’ve lost a total of 2.4 lbs as of this morning since my appointment three fucking months ago – and in fact gained 4 lbs since the unfill appointment – I should meet his weight criteria just fine.
But that leaves me with.. should I do what I do and hopefully get the fill and then spring on him the whole … look dude, I say I need a fill and you yell at me, I tell you where I fit on the green, yellow, red, chart thing that you gave me and you tell me all those signs are irrelevant – that if I’m hungry between meals I should start taking phentermine, I suggest I need at most a teeny tiny fill of .2 or less ccs and you give me 1.5cc. I can’t work like this. What do we need to do to have a good back and forth respectful working relationship? OR do I just bag the whole conversation and maybe save it for next time. What do you think?