Friday, April 29, 2011

The ipad as crack, funky servers, and starvation recovery

I've been totally absent and that's never good for me.  Here's a few things to catch up.

The ipad as crack
It's an amazing thing.  I'm sure that's true, though I don't know this from first hand experience.  I got Brad one for his birthday.  It was a great present because he wanted one so badly and he thought I was goign to put up a real fight about it.  The problem is its crack-like properties.  It's only been in the house for a week and already all three males are completely addicted.  As an example Jackson comes into my room at 6am this morning.  Brad and I were still sleeping.  He marches over to my side of the bed (cuz he's nobody's fool and knows not to poke the sleeping bear on the other side of the bed) and immediately starts whining.
Jack: Mo-om, Teddy got up at 4 and has been playing the ipad the whole time don't you think it should be my turn now?
Me: uh... what?
Jack: It's not fair.  He set his alarm for 4 and he's been playing this whole time.  (let me break in here and say it normally takes an act of congress to get Teddy out of bed)
Me: I'm sleeping here, is it fair that you just came in and woke me because you want to play a video game?
He left with his tail between his legs because as I said - he's no fool.

But... this isn't the first time.  Clearly I am the fool as it's taken me this long to think about doing something about this powerful drug in our home.  Earlier this week, they both together slammed into my room looking for the damn thing (again this means that Teddy was up before anyone bodily pulled him from the bed) waking me before they slammed out again.  There's been constant whining and fighting about the need to get their fix - even Brad has gotten in on it. 

Of course here's the best part.... Teddy gets up at 4am this morning and discovers his eye all gunked up and uncomfortable, what does my very bright boy (who's now taller than me by the way) do???  He wipes it off and desparately makes his way to get his fix on.  Phew, that was close.  He gets his soccer game up and he's finally able to get the shakes under control, even if he can't completely see the screen.  Does he mention his eye problems to his parents this morning? No.  No he does not.  Does he think about possibly spreading whatever he's got that caused said gunk?  No he does not.  So he happily heads off to school high on the soccer game and hands over the ipad to his brother (who's not doing his homework by the way!!) who happily gets his shakes under control with Angry Birds.  Teddy gets to school and realizes his eye is really still bothering him.  So... now our brain trust tells his teacher - I think I've got pink eye.  He was home within the hour.  After Jackson got his fix on and Brad got his as well.  My hypocondriac husband immediately complained of eye problems. 

Our CFO is gone
He's in Ireland for two weeks where his son is studying abroad.  I'm so thrilled for him I can't stand it.  While he's gone, of course, I take care of whatever he might have handled.  This wouldn't be a problem if he wasn't also our IT Manager.  He just happens to have a personal affinity for it and we are lucky to have someone so capable of wearing two such distinct hats.  I've been the number two IT person for years and for the most part have the company fooled about my abilities.  I can talk a good game and know who to call who can walk me through whatever needs to be handled - but the reality is - I'm mostly freakin clueless.

Normally things run very smoothly and and I'm just making sure the back ups work properly.  No biggie.  Yeah, well in these two weeks we've had 4 seperate servers go down, been attacked by man eating viruses, had to shut part of or the whole system down multiple times, had two computers have to be taken out of the building to be repaired or rebuilt and about a million other things that I can't remember at the moment.  Any thought of doing any part of my job was killed very early last week.  I've met every single employee of our outside IT consultant firm; I'm hosting a happy hour tonight.

Oh and now the President has gone away for two days.  Yippee... Seriously.  And today is monthend.  What am I doing?  Am I doing one of the million things that I need to get done before I leave tonight??  Uh that would be a no - I'm blogging.  Cuz, as I've previously pointed out - I'm a fool.

Emerging from starvation
Dramatic much?  So - I couldn't eat for a week or so when I was overfilled.  And then miraculously I could eat.  And let me tell you I have been taking full advantage of that fact.  I have been eating like there is no tomorrow, with seemingly no ability to rein myself in.  For the first several days I swear it was like my band was wide opened.  I know it's all on me - but there was not the slightest peep out of that little thing.  I went from not being able to drink anything thicker than water most days to being able to eat truly anything that I tried.  I swear I could hear Gilly's voice in my head warning me not to eat more than 1 cup of anything and that is probably the only thing that saved my band from literally being blow right out of my body.  I can't say I always managed to follow that advice - but there's no doubt I at least took some breaks in my gluttony.  It took until last night for my brain to really kick in.  I was shopping and was able to fit into cute clothes and I even tried on a size 1X shirt because it was clingy and cute so I thought it might be good on me.  Uh.. it looked completely ridiculous - way, way too big, like a cute green potato sack.  It was a lovely thing to look so stupid in that size.

I hope all is well with everyone and I look forward to being more connected!!


Theresa aka Tessie Rose said...

You crack me up!

Dawnya said...

I swear you should be a stand up comic. The stories you tell are hilarious!!!

Amanda Kiska said...

You really have a talent for storytelling! I love reading your posts, even if they are about addicted children, oozing orifices, complete technological meltdowns, and too-small shirts.

Liz said...

OMG, the iPad IS crack. My sister bought one and I always want to play with it when she has it out. I'll get one eventually!

Susan said...

My name is Susan and I am an iPad addict!

Drazil said...

Too funny on the ipad. Remember me? Just got texting. It'll be a decade before I look at an Ipad. You poor girl. Anyone who wakes me up at 4am and isn't puking gets punched. The end.

Oh and I love you. xoxo

Kiwigirl said...

I love reading the drama that is your life! You are hilarious!

Ronnie said...

Those poor boys. I'm surprised you all haven't gotten pink eye by now, if that is what it was. Eek - that stuff's NASTY!

Hope your CFO comes back soon, sounds like work is busy, busy, busy!

Clumsy said...

Did you say iPad?? I am glowing green with envy... I look forward to my enrollment into iPad lovers anonymous!