Friday, December 31, 2010

Weigh in day

Today is 196.2 which is up 1.6lbs from last week and down 38.8 in total.

Eh.  I'm okay with this gain as it makes perfect sense.  I ate a lot, and I do mean a lot, of junk over the Christmas weekend.  I got it back under control when I went back to work on Tuesday afternoon and was actually at a lower weight yesterday, but then we went and ate a super yummy (if MIL filled) dinner at a hibachi restaurant last night - can you say amazing sauces and lots and lots of salt.

I did have one tiny moment that sort of freaked me out though.  Last night as I went to bed feeling all kinds of bloated, knowing I was going to have a gain this week, I had this moment where I thought - hey, I'll just skip this week's weigh in.  I know I'll have a loss next week and we'll pretend like this never happened.  Now a part of me truly doesn't want to get so hung up on any one thing that to skip a weigh in would be a big deal - but that kind of thinking is a little frightening for me.  It's the bury your head in the sand kind of thinking that's helped me stay overweight my whole life.  If I just ignore it, then it isn't really happening.  The thought was fleeting - but still - it really surprised me to even be there at all.  And it frightened me a little that it's there.  I guess I can't expect all my old thought processes to magically disappear, but still... I thought it was best to get it out there in black and white so I can look back and remember - and so I can tell those negative thoughts to go fuck themselves.  You know what, I gained this week and I might gain next as well.  I'm okay with that.  It's a journey.

5 comments:

tessierose said...

You go girl!

Jess said...

Preach it sista!!!!

Stephanie said...

Yep yep ... agreed! :) Hang in there, my friend! *Hugs*

Jacquie said...

Great attitude!

Bonnie said...

Good perspective.