Wednesday, December 8, 2010

The party, a space cadet, insanity, and a bad case of the tights....

The Christmas Party
Was great fun!  Dare I say a big success?  Why yes, yes I do dare.  We added more groups of people this year like the parents of kids our kids play various sports with (well the ones we like anyway) and some old college friends I just discovered live in the area and there was an unexpected and totally lovely mix of people.  Several of the new people we invited knew people who come every year and so it was fun to see how people know each other – it really is a small world – okay – maybe not that small since the vast majority of the people who came all live in the same county… Still it was cool to see.  AND!!!  I got to have Bonnie come with her adorable husband Dave!!  I know you all are totally jealous as well you should be.  She’s so much more brave than I am to come to a party where she only knows one person (me) and we’ve only met in person one time before this - I'm just so impressed I can't stand it.  No way do I have balls that big.  I totally didn’t take any pictures but she looked totally fantastic and she brought some seriously yummy cookies and a killer rum punch.  (well I heard the punch was really good from a number of people as rum and I are no longer friends after a tragic college incident – enough said).

We had such a wonderful time!  We haven’t done a final head count, but we had 70 yes RSVPs on evite, so I expect it was somewhere in that neighborhood.  We’ll be doing the post mortem later this week where I go through everything I served plus everything people brought and make notes about what we needed more or less of.  I have found the list invaluable, but it’s truly something that needs to be done within a week or so of the party or our old brains start deteriorating.  My only real regret is that I didn’t have more time to sit and chat with Bonnie and Dave; they’re both so nice and fun.  We’ll definitely have to plan a time soon to have them over again and maybe watch our Ravens continue on though the playoffs!!

Space Cadet one to Air Head two
Last night was the 2nd of a two day middle school concert extravaganza – I know you’re all jealous again!  Day one (Monday) was for band; jazz, lower, and upper.  Teddy and Matt (our neighbor and his best friend) are both percussionists in the upper band. Then last night was for chorus and orchestra.  Brad’s going to take Ted separately to get there on time and I was going to follow with Jack a bit later.  Just as Teddy was putting on his coat there was furious pounding on our door.  I rushed to open it and it’s Matt in full concert wear and his mom Lisa.

Lisa: Space Cadet 1 needs to talk to Air Head 2.  Space Cadet 1 has no bell mallets or music for what they’re playing tonight?
Me: um… Playing?  I thought that was last night, they’re singing tonight.
L: They’re doing both.  I think Ted’s playing for two groups and Matt for one, but Matt needs to make sure Ted has the music for the thing they’re doing together and he’s managed to misplace his.
Me: (In my head I’m thinking…. No way in Hell does my air head have any music.  This was the very first time I had heard he was doing anything other than singing for the chorus concerts so I certainly have never once suggested he practice his drum parts for chorus – and there’s no way on earth he’d think to do it on his own…. We are talking about Teddy here.) but out loud I said – Come on in, he’s just putting on his coat.
Matt – (rushing in) Do you have the music?
Ted: (looking totally clueless) What music?
M: For the bell piece
T: What bell piece?
M: (big exasperated sigh) The one we’re playing with the 6th grade chorus.
T: (serious deer in headlight look…. Then) Oh. My. Gosh.  Dad!  We’ve got to stop at the school!! (the concert was at a different school).
Me: Um, honey, the school is long closed.
T: But we’ve got to!
Me: Not going to happen, you’ll just have to do your best.
T: (deep breath, then looking at Matt) Okay, we’ll be fine.

They sounded great and looked like they knew what they were doing up on stage, but later Teddy reported that they’d totally screwed it up…. oops!  Oh well, what’re you going to do?

Pure insanity
I can only comment on this because none of the people in my real life read this but… Holy Shit there are some intense people in the world!

So for a long time Lisa, Lida, and I have casually hung around together from time to time.  We live in the same neighborhood, we all have a son Teddy’s age and one other kid (though theirs are both older) and we’re all nice, sane, women.  Okay that last part is just no longer true anymore.  I still think they are both nice enough woman – but the sane part… ?  Not so much.  It would take way too long to go into the background story that got to what I’m about to tell you but…suffice it to say that Lida and Lisa are something like dysfunctional sisters who have finally gone too far.  Somehow Lida has give Lisa enough power to make her insane.  Both women have no doubt gotten caught up in stupid details and it made its way to a somewhat public she said/she said kind of stupid email trail – but really as insane and rude as I have no doubt Lisa was, the fact that Lida has given her such power over her emotions is on Lida at least as much as Lisa if not more (well, in my opinion anyway)…. Okay so now to the really insane part… I’m sitting with Lida at the concert last night and she starts to tell me the latest tale of woe between them which I try my hardest to stay out of, but she starts it with “I DESPISE LISA.  Seriously despise her.  I hate her.  I will never be in the same room with her again.  Ever!  She’s why I left your party early and I’m never coming back!! 

To my house?  Or just my Christmas party?  (I know it’s not funny, but it was all I could do not to laugh at Lida because I just so don’t understand that kind of passion or insanity or whatever it is... at least not past middle school).

The conversation continued on and for a while I was under the impression that Lisa had severely offended Lida at my house during my party and was not amused that no one had told me so that I could have dealt with it and gotten rid of the offender right then and there.  It turns out the supposed offending had happened earlier and all was well on that front, but I had reminded Lida about how - many years ago a seriously drunk neighbor had offended Lisa at this same Christmas party and how unhappy I had been that no one had told me then so I could have protected Lisa.  And here’s the new level of insanity my “friend” reached…. She said, and I'm doing my level best to quote her here;

“And I was the one who defended Lisa back then.  I should have let Mike go after her.  Let him go for her jugular.  Let him rip her to shreds so that she lay a limp and bloody, twitching pulp all over your floor.”

Alrighty then….

I swear to you I would have said Lida was a nice sane woman – a little intense sometimes, but OMG.  Who says that about another human being and with such intense passion?  I’m thinking I’m going to slowly back away from the scary women.

Is a case of the tightness worse than the runs?
So ever since I was introduced to restriction I’ve had the uber-restriction thing around my TOM.  And holy moly it’s coming again.  I’m due this weekend, but starting yesterday I was having trouble eating yogurt or other similar soft things.  Seriously, what's up with that?  I think I’m going to try to look at it as a blessing and really watch every bit of my intake (as if I have the remotest choice in the matter) – relying more heavily on protein shakes or things of that nature.  What’s a tough week each month?  Right?  Maybe?  We’ll see.


LDswims said...

What a funny post!

So glad the party was a success. Too funny about the music. Too scary about the insanity. And yeah, what's one week, in the scheme of things. Just drink a shake or something. :) Isn't it funny how fickle than band can be?

Sam said...

See how fickle this band is, I find I get quite loose at my TOM!! I can basicly eat anything. Glad to hear the party went well, and if you think the boys sounded okay, then I am sure everyone else did too :o)

Amanda said...

Oh your party sounds like so much fun!!
Too funny about the boys too! I remember those days of ME doing that! Long time ago now!

Women are strange! Not me of course! Or you! :)

Bonnie said...

I can't even imagine hosting a party of that magnitude so I think you are the brave one, my dear. Your house is beautiful and I loved all the Christmas decorations. Definitely put me in the holiday mood. Would definitely love to get together again. Was a huge heartbreaker to watch the Ravens lose to the Steelers last Sunday - especially since Dave and Amy were there.

Linda said...

So glad the party went well. Bonnie & Dave were brave for going, but I'm sure they had fun.
That's a lot of dramam going on in the neighborhood. Maybe you need to have them sign up for the Real Housewives of Ellicott City.

Heather said...

I have long contended that young boys must loose brain cells to become men. Just remember that when you want to pull your hair out!

~Lisa~ (Mrs C) said...

What a hysterical post! Loved it!! Every last word! And, being a Mom of two (grown in body, waiting for the head) boys, I began twitching while reading about the music!! Been there!!

I am thrilled your party was a success - sounded like LOTS of fun!

Thank you for the smile!! :)

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad the party was a success, but oh dear ... the drama! I'm with you on not having to deal with that since middle school. LOL! I hope they're able to work out their problems.

Band Groupie said...

Found you and following! Thanks for the lovely comments GF. Oh, I SO needed that laugh this morning.

We found ourselves at the HS band concert last the auditorium at 6pm...with 6 other had to be there at 6...concert 7:30...ughhh!

Sounds like a wonderful party...and my neighborhood drama...I swear some girls must miss their HS drama. And with 3 sisters I've often declared myself 'Switzerland'.

Drazil said...

Did you say runs? Haven't I told you NEVER to talk about poop? That being said - what the bloody hell? Are those girls Satan's sisters or his mother? EVIL. Do they say that stuff around their kids?
Oh and you rock!