And isn't that a great idea? There are only 30 days to Chicago - woo hoo. Anyone else out there as excited as I am? I was talking to some lovely friends of mine about how hard this whole losing weight thing is. I mean, sure, we all know what we have to do and yet we all struggle to varying degrees at varying times. My excuse has consisently been my marriage falling apart. I'll be doing just fine for a while and then we'll have some seriously emotionally draining interaction and all my good intentions fly right out of the window as I desperately look for something to cram into my mouth... yeah - I know - very, very healthy habits I've got there.
As I'm sure is true with many of you, when I'm in an overall stronger, less emotional, state, I am much more likely to run to the treadmill or outside to take a walk - but when I'm not - it's just so easy to say - well shit, life sucks, I might as well make it suck even worse by eating a small horse while on the way to pick up a small cow.
All that shit being said - I'm oddly feeling more in control these days. I feel like we hit a new low recently in our marriage - nothing so earth shattering as a big fight or anything - just a calm revelation from my husband that makes me more than anything want to drive to New York and inflict lots of pain on his idiot mother - but alas there would be no more blog fodder from her so I'll refrain. Why this makes me more calm and in control I'm not sure. Maybe I'm just more ready to move on with whatever's next. I'm still not leaving, but I'm definitely interested in making it more specifically official that we have an open marriage. Another oddity - we've been getting along much better in our day to day lives - which is a wonderful thing. Of course I think he probably interprets that as all is well in our world but that's not something I can control.
So - I've completely gotten off track here - my point is focus. I have a wedding I am going to in two weeks and a cute dress that might be cuter if I were 5 or so lbs lighter. I'm working to not put pressure on myself as I know I can always go find another dress! And then 2 weeks after that is CHICAGO woo hoo. Did I mention I'm excited about this? So I've committed to be more accountable; I believe I've said this before - and yes, I suck sometimes (very well so I've been told). So I'm going to be texting poor Gilly every single damn day with my weight and I'm hoping I'll call her when I might be freaking out and on the way to get the small cow (like say tomorrow evening right after our counseling session) so she can talk me down off the ledge!
Anyway - what's your plan??