Tuesday, May 31, 2011

be thankful for the opportunites dropped in your lap, Ricki, & Jackson

So I'm sitting here with Teddy (almost 13) and he's watching George Lopez while I'm reading blogs.  And the mom says to the 14 year old son on the show "Did that tramp steal your virginity?"  It was totally unexpected and both Teddy and I burst out laughing.  He looked up at me, still laughing, "Are you going to say that to me one day?"

Jackson: (age 10, doing homework yells in from the other room) Ted, record that for me so I can watch it later!  (he's the one I have to worry about)

Me: Ted, I need you to wait until you're 26 before you lose your virginity, okay?
(26 is my age for everything - you can get a tattoo when you're 26, you can ride a motorcycle when you're 26, you can drive a car when you're 26...)

Ted: I doubt that, I seriously doubt that.  (he's still kind of chuckling, not the least bit self conscious)

Me: Okay, maybe not 26.  (I paused and and thought - what the hell - take the gift dropped in your lap)  So you know you have to wear a condom every single time, no exceptions?

Ted: Yes mom.

Me: And you know you are WAAAAY too young right now, right?

Ted: (thankfully rolling his eyes) Yes mom.

Okay, so I stopped right there.  No harm, no foul.  No self consciousness, and a plug for condoms.  Not a bad deal for a Tuesday evening.

And, right now as I type this - Brad is at the airport picking up his mom.  I hope she'll be as blog rich as she was the last time she was here.

OH and one more thing...

Jackson just said... do you know what I've always wanted to do?

Me: nope

Jack: Fill a funnel with whipped cream and then figure out how to get it down the little pipe at the end and then shove the pipe inside a waffle and fill the waffle with whipped cream.

Me: (I just nodded my head - wondering if I should tell him about pastry bags)

Jack: Noooo, wait... syrup.  That would be even better.  Do we have a funnel?

Me: uh.. nope, not us.  No way.  No funnels here.

Jack: I know we do, where is it.

Me:  Hey look over there, it's a dead turtle, or a snake....

So, on the one hand - of course it's a genius idea my little guy has and no doubt it would be delish, but seriously - the boy is up before everyone else in the house every single day.  No way am I helping him destroy my kitchen before I'm even out of bed.  nuh uh,  no way, no how!

Okay speaking of Jackson - one more, more thing.

Remember his stitches?  You can see the before pictures here.  But look how well it's healing.  


Jacquie said...

Yay! Ricki is back!

Those stitches are healing great! I think its great that you can talk to your boys. I was always very open and honest with my girls. If they asked, I answered!

Annie said...

You are too funny, and I love the condom plug! I am hoping this comment posts, unlike the one I tried to make earlier re: snake!

What adventures you have in MD!!

PS- Your son is adorable, poor baby about the stitches, but, the scar will give him something to brag about as he jumps on his motorcycle to get his tattoo!

Stephanie M. said...

Too funny! You totally crack me up. :-)

FitBy40 said...

I CAN NOT wait for Ricky news! And, the scar is looking great.

Laura Belle said...

Hilarious! That was too perfect on the condom plug!

Ronnie said...

I've got a feeling I'm gonna have to shamelessly plug condoms as well. Lord, help the mothers of pre-teen boys!

Justawallflower said...

Wow, his head looks good! Awesome condom plug! So smart, you are! Can't wait for the Ricki posts! You should so bring her to Chicago!