I’m the controller for my company and as such have worked closely for many years with a particular lovely gentleman named Randal, who is our… broker is the only work I can come up with and that’s true, but it’s more that he’s our advisor for all things benefits and insurance. We have specific benefits people we work with directly, but this man is a financial advisor by trade and works on our behalf with various benefits plans; 401k, life insurance, health insurance.. that kind of thing. He also provides to any employee at no expense to them personal financial planning and advice; from the simple to the complex. He’s an older gentleman with a rye sense of humor and I’m as fond of him as he is of me.
Well Brad contacted him a while ago because we decided to switch from term to whole life insurance and he’s our go-to guy. So we both had new little medical evaluations for the new insurance and of course my recent lap band surgery came up during the routine medical questions. (can you see where this is going) Now, Randal and I had previously joked about how privacy laws are such that he’s not allowed to even know who or when the medical tests are happening for Brad and me, only that they are happening.
So cut to this morning when poor Randal had to call me because the insurance company wanted more information than the medical testing people had provided them with. I haven’t told anyone at work and here Randal is asking me the date of my lap band surgery – what? Holy shit. I dutifully answered.
Randal: And were there any complications?
Me: Uh no, none.
R: And since then… um… have you had… have you… um… have you seen any difference since the surgery.
R: uh.. well.. that’s good. And what was your weight prior to the surgery?
M: (oh no he di ‘int! – you’ve got to be fucking kidding me). (In my most professional, we’re talking about a benefits statement voice) 235.
R: Okay and so your boys both have two middle names, right?
M: um.. yes, they do – we were shooting for the latest in WASP-iness apparently.
I’m almost over it – I’m truly not sure who that conversation was worse for; him or me, and now I need to decide if I care that he knows – I mean privacy laws wise – I don’t think I actually care that he knows – information wise. But geesh – that was totally not how I thought my Friday morning would start.