So it's been weeks and weeks since I first saw below 205 and was what I considered withing spitting distance of onederland, in fact I just went and looked - it was October 22nd. So now on November 19th I finally see that one as the first number. Thank the heavenly Lord above. phew.
I'm really not good at goals. I always do things to sabotage myself as I get close to any goal - It's the biggest personal flaw I want to change - but that's a whole different issue. I had a very, very quiet - hush, hush sort of goal-lite of reaching this mark before we went to Disney (which is today). I was too afraid to actually state it as an actual goal (even in my own brain) - but those little boxes in the back of my brain sometimes talk to me and there was a very quiet discussion - one I could totally deny if need be - about wanting to hit that mark by this date.
When I very quietly thought about that being a relatively easily achievable mark - I had more than 2 1/2 months to lose less than 15 pounds and I'd very easily beaten that mark before and it was near the beginning of this journey - when I was most ready to do what I needed to do - to learn what I needed to learn. This was a no brainer. The closer I got, the slower it went. I had pretty much come to the realization that I wasn't going to make it (still in the very quiet, totally deniable kind of conversation I have within my brain).
The difference this time, though, was that I wasn't getting discouraged. I was still losing. I was still totally and completely confident that I was heading in the right direction. I knew totally and concretely that I'd get there and get to all the rest of the places I want to go - it just might take a while. This band thing - it's giving me confidence. This is a beautiful thing.
So in a few hours we're heading to Disney World to spend Thanksgiving with Mickey. And I'm going to see what happens when I just relax a little and just follow the band rules. I'll eat when I'm hungry, which I'm totally doing at home, but I won't have a house full of easy, protein rich, foods to grab. So we'll just see what we'll see. I think it's going to be all good.
I hope everyone has a beautiful and inspiring Thanksgiving!!