I am thankful for.....

• My beautiful Teddy - though he constantly challenges me with his teenage attitude he never ceases to amaze me with his thoughtful curiosity and beautifully gentle ways (when he forgets to hide those parts from us).  
• My amazing Jackson - his witty, dry, humor keeps us laughing even while he's creating the mischief only his warped brain can find.
• My husband Brad - I'm not sure what the future holds for us, but I know confidently I'm a better person for having his kindness and love and support in my life and my children are truly blessed for having such a big kid as such a loving protector.
• My life that allows me to be writing this from the Wilderness Lodge in the happiest place on earth while my husband and kids are wrapping up an early morning trip to the Magic Kingdom (letting mommy sleep in a bit) before we all head over to Blizzard Beach for an afternoon frolicking in the water before coming back to have a Thanksgiving Day bar-b-q with Mikey and friends before heading out on a pirate ship to watch the fireworks - who does this?  So much fun and we are so blessed to be able to do it!!!
• My friend Camille who knows every part of me; the good, the bad, the perverted and warped, the goofy and deranged, the kinky, the scared, the hopeful and the doubtful and loves me for (not despite) all of it.
• This blogging community that's been so delightfully supportive in so many fun and serious ways.

And so many, many other things I can't begin to single out - I am truly blessed and hope to take more time this year to appreciate every bit of it.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!

Hallelujah... I made it to onederland!

So it's been weeks and weeks since I first saw below 205 and was what I considered withing spitting distance of onederland, in fact I just went and looked - it was October 22nd.  So now on November 19th I finally see that one as the first number.  Thank the heavenly Lord above. phew. 

I'm really not good at goals.  I always do things to sabotage myself as I get close to any goal - It's the biggest personal flaw I want to change - but that's a whole different issue.  I had a very, very quiet - hush, hush sort of goal-lite of reaching this mark before we went to Disney (which is today).  I was too afraid to actually state it as an actual goal (even in my own brain) - but those little boxes in the back of my brain sometimes talk to me and there was a very quiet discussion - one I could totally deny if need be - about wanting to hit that mark by this date.

When I very quietly thought about that being a relatively easily achievable mark - I had more than 2 1/2 months to lose less than 15 pounds and I'd very easily beaten that mark before and it was near the beginning of this journey - when I was most ready to do what I needed to do - to learn what I needed to learn.  This was a no brainer.  The closer I got, the slower it went.  I had pretty much come to the realization that I wasn't going to make it (still in the very quiet, totally deniable kind of conversation I have within my brain). 

The difference this time, though, was that I wasn't getting discouraged.  I was still losing.  I was still totally and completely confident that I was heading in the right direction.  I knew totally and concretely that I'd get there and get to all the rest of the places I want to go - it just might take a while.  This band thing - it's giving me confidence.  This is a beautiful thing.

So in a few hours we're heading to Disney World to spend Thanksgiving with Mickey.  And I'm going to see what happens when I just relax a little and just follow the band rules.  I'll eat when I'm hungry, which I'm totally doing at home, but I won't have a house full of easy, protein rich, foods to grab.  So we'll just see what we'll see.  I think it's going to be all good. 

I hope everyone has a beautiful and inspiring Thanksgiving!!

What I eat....

Lap Band Gal suggested we all comment on what we eat and I thought it was a fantastic idea!!!  Hopefully we can all get some good new ideas.

M-F, I'm very consistent.

On the way to work at about 8am I have 20-32 oz of water with a mix of 1 scoop of strawberry-kiwi protein powder and a powdered vitamin and powdered calcium.  It's yummy and 24g of protein and 100 cal and my vitamins and minerals all accounted for before I walk into the office.  If I feel I'm not getting enough protein I'll just up how much protein powder I add, so occasionally I'll add a scoop and a half or so for 36 g.

I pack an insulated bag with 2 cheese sticks (8g protein, 70 cal), Chobani Greek yogurt (14g prot, 140 cal), a little carton of Breakstone cottage cheese (11g prot. 90 cal), and 4oz of chicken salad (which I estimate at 250ish cal and 21g protein - I don't really know how much protein and cal so if anyone wants to help me out with that it would be much appreciated I'll post the recipe such as it is below).  Assuming my estimates are correct that's 62g of protein and 620 cal in the bag.    Before my last fill I also included 1/2 C Kashi Go Lean crunch which I added to the yogurt and it was my breakfast every morning, but I can't eat the cereal in the morning right now, so I haven't been packing it.

The protein water (as I call it) keeps me happy and satisfied for a while in the mornings.  Somewhere between 9:30 and 10:30 I eat a little something; either a cheese stick, or cottage cheese.

At about 12 or so, I have a little something else, perhaps the thing I didn't have earlier.  So by noonish I've eaten two pretty small things, but I do my best to listen to my body and eat as soon as I'm hungry, or I'll eat a cheese stick or something before I'm hungry if I'm going to head into a long meeting. 

Then I try to eat something a bit more, like either the yogurt or the chicken salad the next time I'm hungry, maybe at 2:30 or so. 

Actually I've been trying to eat the yogurt as the first thing in the morning, thinking it's more substantial with it's increased protein and then have the chicken salad for a late lunch, with maybe a cheese stick or two to round out the work day.

I never eat everything in the bag, there is usually at least one cheese stick and maybe the cottage cheese or the yogurt left over at the end of the day, but I really like having the variety of things in there that I can choose from - even if the variety isn't all that crazy.

For dinner I might have more chicken salad, or a boca burger with a slice of american cheese, or soup, or salmon.  Or whatever the rest of the family is having as long as it's not pasta, just in a small portion; maybe half of a chicken thigh and some broccoli.

I also try to eat dessert every evening; SF pudding with whipped cream, a weight watchers dessert of some sort, that kind of thing.

On the weekends I try to experiment a bit - I'm still figuring out what and when I can eat things with my latest fill.  I go for eggs or a warm spinach salad (with Gorgonzola, bacon and almonds) or fish or chicken.  I'm also much more likely to eat a little junk here and there on the weekends; which is why my Holiday Challenge weigh ins will most likely always be higher than my Friday weigh ins.


My chicken salad
Once a week or so I take a whole rotisserie chicken and make chicken salad.  I remove all skin and roughly cube all the chicken; white and dark meat.  To that I add celery and every once in a while a couple of pieces of very crispy bacon, and lite or fat free mayo and pepper and that's it.  Well sometimes I throw a cut up cucumber in there too.  I tend to make it a little more mayonnaise-y than I would have pre-band as I find this helps with it going down pretty easily.

Mom-of-the-Year.... The fish died.

We suck as parents; fish and otherwise.  My poor Teddy has lost every pet that’s ever been only his.  First there was the gecko; supposedly the easiest animal to keep as a pet.  I don’t even remember his name, but you have to feed the gecko live crickets, which is fine.  But that means you have to keep a cage for the crickets you haven’t yet fed him and feed the crickets.  Yeah, ok.  So we bought this gross gel stuff and fed the crickets and fed the crickets to the gecko.  Great, right?  Yeah.. well, we are useless.  That’s all I can say.  We didn’t read the bottle of gel cricket food.  It has to be refrigerated after opening (come on, seriously we have to refrigerate cricket food?)  Anyway, we didn’t do that and the food became “bad” and we fed the crickets anyway and then we fed the now tainted crickets to the gecko and he died.  Oops.  Teddy was heart broken.

Then there were the hamsters.  Two dwarf robo (I think) hamsters who he named “Dwarf” and “Robo”.  He’s very creative, our boy.  Now, I’ve got to tell you, Teddy is a space cadet.  He’s one of these kids that’s book smart, but wouldn’t know common sense if it hit him upside the head.  He was just not gifted with an understanding of how life works – how things fit together.  Things like… you need to give your animals food and water in order for them to live.  On the one hand we were preaching to him to check their food and water, but on the other hand we were thinking… he’s 11, he should be able to handle the responsibility himself.  Well… we suck.

One night I go in there for bedtime and check the hamster’s water; which I would have said I did regularly (maybe he gets his space cadet-ness honestly) and it was empty.  So what did Mom-of-the-Year do?  She started in on the lecture about how if you don’t give your hamsters water they will die.  This is your responsibility, Ted.  You convinced us you were old enough and mature enough to handle this…. you get the idea.  One of the hamsters was sitting there at his nearly empty food bowl shaking.  Ut oh.  They need water and they need it now!!!  I went to fill a little tray with water to put right in front of their mouths telling Ted to find the other one and see if we can get them in the same place.  I’m on my way back when Ted comes barreling into my arms hysterical. 

Yup, Mom-of-the-Year here.  None of you can claim the title.  It’s mine.  I had just asked my kid to dig around in his hamster cage until he came across the dead hamster.  OMG.  I know I haven’t survived that trauma yet, Ted seems to have faired a bit better.  What the hell was I thinking?  Anyway, the 2^nd one died, a slow and I’m sure painful death about an hour later with Teddy and Brad looking on.  It was not a good night.  We did our best to back peddle and take all the blame so he wouldn’t be scarred for life, but, it was just another banner day in his life with pets.  Jackson’s are still alive and well.

And now it’s the fish. 

This time I do, in fact, think it’s totally Brad’s fault.  He desperately wants to care for a pet of his own.  We thought…. How hard could fish be?  Brad took him to the pet store and they came home with a tank too small for a heater and 2 balloon mollies; Tom and Joey. Of course the pet store people knew what they were doing and told them it was probably going to be ok.  But mollies apparently do much better in heated water.  And if you leave the light on all the time (in a non-heated tank it’s the only source of heat) then you encourage algae growth.  Yadda yadda yadda.  Whatever!  First Joey died and then Tom didn’t look so good, so Brad cleaned the tank and somehow Tom survived that and looked a bit better and then I went to the store for more supplies and this is when I learned that mollies are considered tropical and should be in a bigger and heated tank and yadda yadda yadda.  I bought the tank and Ted and I set it up last night.  I was told to let the filter and heater go for 24 hours before you add the fish, but we decided we’d just wait till morning because Tom didn’t look so good again.  Well he was dead this morning.  Teddy said he didn’t care at all in the way only a pre teen can manage.  We suck.

The Basement, Disney, and the Party

The basement

is nearly done!  The mountain of boxes that was our foyer is now gone!!!  Woo hoo!!!  I can’t tell you how lovely it is to see from one room across the foyer into the other room again.  The fact that this now highlights the disaster that is both rooms is something better left to denial.  There’s a little problem with the new carpet and Brad and I did our good cop (him) – bad cop (me) routine with their rep yesterday.  The rep totally saw the problem (a long seam that doesn’t meet flatly, it peaks up and I’m afraid the dog will snag it cuz it’s higher than the rest of the carpet) and immediately diagnosed the problem as….. a bad dye lot from the manufacturer.  LOLOLOLOL.  Can you say pass the buck?  No, it’s not our installer that didn’t stretch the carpet correctly; it’s the carpet manufacturer who sent out carpet that has some color variation (which we clearly don’t have enough experience to see).  Umm… okay, whatever you say as long as my issue is ultimately fixed, I don’t really care how you go about doing it.

Disney World

We’re leaving in three days, I’m so excited and… well… maybe.. just a little bit freaking out too.  My brain has been on other things; the basement, the mountain of boxes, the carpet issue, work, kids, sports, the old friend we had over to watch my poor Skins be annihilated last night, etc…   But now.. Seriously… I can’t put off thinking about it any longer.  It’s… Three.  Days.  Away.  Holy shit.  I’ve gone so far as to create a staging area and put a handful of things on it (sunscreen, goggles, and pool toys totally count as a handful).  But that’s it.  Oh wait - I had a fun little NSV last night while I rumaged through my closet to find shorts that don't fall off me and came up with a jackpot of things; cute shorts, cute little skirts, many with the tags still on - I must have bought a bunch of things at the end of a season at some point and totally forgot about them - so I'm good to go in that respect.  Tonight I’m going to Target to get some travel sized things for the kids and a few other odds and ends.  And then I guess I have to go home and pack for me and the boys because did I mention…

Brad is out of town.  Dork!  Okay, it’s not his fault, but come on.  Seriously, you have a good night sleep down there in NC!  Watch a little TV, go to the movies, hey, maybe go out and have a few good meals at a few of your favorite restaurants, you know you will anyway!  I’ll just be up here making sure our suitcases are packed.  You don’t worry about us up here at all.  By the time you get your pretty little head back up here the suitcases will be by the door, the house will be ready for the painters to come while we’re gone, the new fish tank will be installed and the fish WILL NOT DIE and the hamster cage will be cleaned and the boy who’ll be caring for both will have been trained…. Really, I’ve got this.  Don’t you worry at all.  It’s just a little laundry, summer clothes hunting, cleaning, moving, packing, shopping and whatnot.  Sure, I’ve still got to go to work every day and make sure the rug rats get fed and get their homework done – no problem.  Really, I’ve got this.

The Party

Happens 1 week (that’s 7 days) from when we get home from Disney.  I’m thrilled!!!  I love this time of year!  I love, love, love my house at this time of year.  Okay, that’s a lie – at this actual, specific, moment I sort of hate my house.  It’s completely dusty from the recent work of finishing our basement. (Brad changed the family room ceiling fan to turn in the opposite direction last night and we were all showered by huge hunks of dust falling from it – how lovely.)

The plan was to have the house just about decorated before we left for Disney which if you’ll remember is in 3 days.  Um… yeah, I don’t think so.  We are having our hallways painted while we’re gone – again – woo hoo, that’s freaking fantastic!!!  But, of course that means I can’t put up any garland on the railings or the tree above the front door, or certain pictures on certain walls, but oh well..  There are 2 trees up and in the correct rooms.  Just because they are standing square in the middle of the rooms is not reason to panic.  Just because we haven’t even identified the movers who will come to our house on the Monday after we’re home (5 days before the party) to move all the excess furniture down to the basement where it belongs is no reason to panic.  Just because our house was just registered as a national disaster with legos and stuffed animals and kinex and so many nerf weapons I can’t stand myself flung hap hazardly around every friggin’ flat surface and we’re leaving in 3 freaking days is not a reason to panic.  That there are 8 or so of our closest friends coming over the day after we get back (6 days before the party) to help us “finish” decorating (Please note the quotes around the word finish.  As if we’re close enough to be ready for that), that may be a reason to panic.  (hanging head in shame.)

It’s a good thing I’m going to see my patron saint Eeyore – I need me some good pity parties.

Save 40% on everything from Lee Jeans today only

I totally didn't post this last time I got an email like this and felt bad for it.  Lee Jeans and pants fit my curvy, hour-glass shaped figure very well.  I'm only 5'2" and their petite pants are perfect for me.  So if you have that body shape, you might want to check them out today.  I've found their website very easy to use!

http://www.lee.com/LEE_STORE_US/en_US/home.html?cm_mmc=Email-_-November2010-_-second-_-MainImageBodyCopy&EDID=7272N3J-CQRF-6J2NU-VTQ4W-RBSV-v1

That's the link in the email I got - I hope it works for all of  you!!

TOM, oh how I love thee...

I love surprises!  While, so often you let me know you're coming with a week's worth of salty-chocolate cravings and the overall desire to consume anything that's not nailed down, sometimes you can't resist throwing me a little curve ball by just showing up.  Yippee!! (clapping hands).  I can't tell you how thrilled I was to discover you'd arrived when I took a second between serving cake and entertaining boring parents to run to the bathroom at my son's swimming themed birthday party.  So delightful to see you there brightening up my pink undies, I guess you though a little more color was needed, you big lug.  You just knew I wouldn't be the least prepared for your arrival.  I've got to hand it to you, you timed it perfectly.

Was the flexibility test a bonus or just a happy coincidence?  I'm not sure I would have been as capable 30lbs ago, but I had the last laugh on you for that one.  I was able to manage to keep both my pants and bare feet out of the dirty water on the swim center's bathroom floor while I got my pants and then undies off so I could do a little unexpected laundry there in the family bathroom.  And I didn't mind one little bit that when all was said and done my undies were a little damp.  It felt nice, so there (sticking tongue out), in the warm humid room to have a little private (all puns intended) cooling going on.

I've got to say the utter and complete exhaustion was a nice touch this month.  I don't know if I was spoiling your plans or not, but I did manage to get inside my house at about 6pm before falling asleep for the night.  (who does that?).  And now that you've made yourself known, I'm guessing it was all you that made that lone hash brown nearly kill me yesterday and made me have to take seemingly 1/4 tsp sized sips of my milk based protein shake this morning.

The water weight is a nice touch as well.  I ate almost nothing yesterday and managed to gain nearly two pounds over night.

And the pain.  I'm a pain slut, sure, but jeez this is awesome.  But again, I've dashed your hopes.  I've got seriously good drugs.  Sure, I'm a little spacey, and I'm not making much sense as I talk to people, occasionally walking into walls, likely to fall asleep in mind sentence, ready to tell the world I'm a pain slut, but I'm not doubled over anymore!  I win - I think.

Note to self...

A hash brown, even a single one very well chewed, is just not a good idea before 10am.


Okay, got it.

Just some randomness...

An NSV
So... (why do I start so many sentences with so or okay?) I got this email coupon a couple of weeks ago from Lee.com for 50% off everything for one day plus free shpping.  First of all I now feel like a heel for not posting that information and promise I will next time I learn of something like that.  But anyway, Lee jeans and pants fit my curves particularly well.  I have an hourglass shape and their pants do a nice job of not gapping at the waist and they're flattering too.  Anyway... I thought it would be stupid not to take advantage of this deal as my size 18Ws are getting way too baggy even right out of the dryer.  So I spent just over $100 and got 5 pairs of pants in varying sizes.  I got 2 16Ws (one jean and one black pant I could wear on a casual day to work) thinking I could wear those right now, an 18 regular (a 2nd pair of jeans) thinking I could also probably wear those right now and 2 regular 16s (one jean and one pant I could wear to work) thinking I'd have some wardrobe basics available to me in (hopefully) the not too distant future.  Well... today I put on the 16W black pants thinking they'd probably still be a touch too tight and I'd still have to wait another week or two... but no.  They fit fine.  I happily got dressed and headed to work.  AND in just the couple of hours I've had them on, they've really stretched out (not in a bad way, just in the way pants do) and OMG, they're a tad baggy.  They're certainly fine to wear, but it's really not going to be for long.  I'm definitely going to have to go home and try on the regular 16s which I haven't done, I think if I'm too close to fitting into them, I may try to exchange them for 14s so I have a longer term goal to achieve.... hmmmm, but yay!

The 'crazy' legacy continues
I swear to God my younger son is me in cute little boy form.  Of course I'm my mom in chubby middle aged woman form so it shouldn't be that surprising.  But he is just the goofiest thing I've ever known.  He will randomly throw out totally nonsensical things for no particular reason.  Last night I was putting him to bed and he kept saying things like... "12 small cokes" or "hello gov'ner" (in a snappy little english accent).  Sometimes at bed time we'll just have these stupid conversations... him: small flies, me:orange mist, him: butterfly, me: cookies, him: target practice... we keep going until one of us has to pause and think about it before we answer.  We've never discussed the rules of this game - it just started one day and we both knew how to play, and when it's over we know who won and just move on.  Or he'll just walk up and randomly poke you while he says "poke" in a quiet flat voice (of course I do the same thing to my husband - it's his favorite, really it is).  Unfortuantely he's also the most stuborn human alive (though my husband swears on all that's Holy that he's only the second most stubborn human alive (can you all guess who he thinks is number 1?))  So sometimes he'll dig in his heels and keep doing what he shouldn't or refuse to do what he should for way, way longer than anyone else I know... poke poke poke poke poke.  Should I be proud or horrified that the crazy continues?

Teddy's thumb
It was his thumb that the dog bit the other day.  Bandit's top teeth were on his thumb nail and his bottom teeth were on the side of his thumb.  The side where the real cut is, is healing nicely, though he'll definitely have a scar.  He's on antibiotics and antibiotic cream since it's his right hand and it touches everything so he'll be fine.  BUT OMG his thumb nail has this crack right through it about a quarter of an inch from the bottom.  You know how if you have longish nails and you do something and your nail breaks really low and it's horrifying because it hurts and you just know if it comes off the rest of the way it's going to hurt WAY worse.  Well this isn't hurting him like that yet, but it hurts me to look at it.  The whole nail bed is slowly turning purple, I'm assuming on it's way to black, and I just don't want to even think about what could be coming for him.  He has no frame of reference for that pain so he's fine with it and I'm hoping that the body will create a protective undercoat before the nail falls off, but it's seriously hard for me to even look at it when I'm putting the cream on.

Weigh in day

Today it was 201.6

1.8 loss for the week

33.4 in total.

I'm so close to onederland!!  woo hoo!

And I'm 33% down!

What the hell was that???

Okay so you’ve all told me before about the frightening, thick, icky slime that our bodies produce.  In all honesty, I thought you were exaggerating.  Or maybe taking a little creative license to make a post more entertaining.  Yeah…. Not so much.

I had left over shrimp for lunch today.  I put it on a small plate.  I warmed it up.  I heard in my head Linda’s comments from the other night about being surprised I could eat shrimp as she knew lots of others had problems with it.  I prepared a perfect bandster sized portion and I ate it in a perfect banster kind of way.  And the second I started to feel… um… full?  No that’s not it, pressure?  Yes, pressure – like Velma (that’s the band) down there yelling… “Okay, I think we’re about done down here.” I stopped eating.  I cleaned up, put stuff away.  All was good…. Except… Velma was getting more increasingly more insistent that she’d had enough.  I was contorting my body in all kinds of ways;  I tried the downward facing dog as I read on someone’s blog yesterday, I stretched way back.  I was very thankful I was home alone.  I tried to convince her that I stopped eating just as soon as she asked me to.  I marveled at the amount of saliva one person can produce in such a short amount of time.

I kept wondering around my house doing things (I had an unexpected day off and was doing my best to make it productive).  I was completely sure the pain was going to go away any minute.  There was finally enough saliva that when I was near a sink I thought to spit some out.  The second I did that, I thought.. ut oh… what the hell?  I am not going to get sick damn it!  I kept wandering around, gyrating my body in ways any pole dancer would be proud of until I was back in the kitchen and decided to spit again.  (Can I just tell you, I despise spitting.  Of any kind, for any reason – it’s my flat out biggest pet peeve and I never, ever do it – it completely and utterly grosses me out – so I’m feeling really proud that I both did it and am now telling people about it – good God what the hell has happened to me.)  Anyway.. just to get more gross… on the way to the sink I PB – just a little and think – eh… okay that was gross, but I can live with that.

Then I get to the sink and I guess Velma realized she had a safe surface on which to dump her unwanted stuff and dump stuff she did.  Totally and completely unexpectedly.  Holy shit.. What the heck was that?  And where did it come from?  There’s no way my body actually produces that thick, clearly alive with a mind of its own slime.  Not my body.

I, Read, do solemnly swear to hereby listen more carefully to everything you guys are telling me... Thanks for all the information, I swear I mean it!

What a day! But the upside was I got to meet Linda and Bonnie!!

So... it all started with an appointment with m PCP at 9:15am.  I got up and did 40 min on the treadmill, showered, talked to the contractor, packed my lunch and was pulling out of the driveway at 9:00am on the dot.  I was feeling all kinds of proud of myself - that was exactly when I wanted to leave as my doctor is less than five minutes from my house... perfect.  I'm heading down the main street of my neighborhood when a little notification pops up on my phone.  I look down and what does it say?  Dr. appt - 9:00am.  FUCK!  Okay, well, as I said I'm only 5 min to her door so I floor it, thinking I'll be a couple of minutes late and oh well...  I get to the end of the road, check for cars and accelerate out of the turn out of my neighborhood... except... oops... perhaps I was a little over excited as I hit the curb at about 20 MPH and climbing.  "That's gonna leave a mark."

I keep going, waiting for the tire to flatten which doesn't happen.  I get there only to realize it was my alarm reminding me 15 min early for my 9:freaking:15 appointment.  Ok - well I'm there in plenty of time...  I didn't even look to see what I'd done to my car.  Great appointment - she gives me a name of a different lap band doctor she's heard nothing but really good things about - so say goodbye to insane phentermine man - and off I go.

Get to work, get stuff done.  Oh wait - idiot boy in the office - the one who thinks he's all that - he sends and email to the President of my company about our AR person who reports to me.  Let me first say that this woman was born to collect money.  She is flat out brilliant at it.  The CEO is more than half in love with her (which is actually true and a whole different story) the President, the CFO, me, and the presidents of all our divisions all think she walks on water.  The CEO just came to me and insisted she get a raise (see comment above).  Anyway - idiot boy likes to puff out his chest whenever possible and in this case, instead of asking the AR person to also give her reports to him, he created this long story about this shit and that shit and sent it directly to not her, not her supervisor, not her boss's boss, but the President of our company, cc-ing the President of his division.  Jesus God I hate stupid people.  Like if you want to make someone look bad, perhaps you should pick someone the CEO isn't in love with and someone who isn't brilliant at her job by every measure that counts!  Of course the President just forwarded it to me, as he's usually a sane sort, and said please respond to idiot boy (Okay he didn't really say that, but I'm sure that's what he meant).  It ended up all fine of course, but jeez it took some stupid time out of my day which I didn't have to give.  Did I mention I seriously hate stupid people!

Okay - then I head out in the late afternoon to take the deposit to the bank and guess what??

My tire is flat.  Look, you can even see where my rim is messed up there near the bottom on the left.  Oops... did I tell you I had a history of incidents with curbs that jump out and get right in my way while driving.  No?  Well, good, never mind then.

Okay, forget about the bank, someone else can go.  Am I fully capable of changing my tire.  Yes, absolutely.  Am I remotely willing to do so if there is another option.  Not so much.  This is what I pay AAA for, right?  I give them a call, and out they send a very cute, tow truck guy who comes out and puts a little donut on the front of my car and all is well....

Until I get back into my office and my husband calls.

Brad: Teddy is okay

this is never ever a good way to start a conversation.

Me: okay (I can hear they're in a car and I'm thinking they're on the way to the hospital - thank God I have the donut!!)

B: And he wants you to know that it isn't Bandit's fault at all, it's 100% his fault.  He was very insistent that I tell you that.

M: OMG, what the hell happened?

B: Bandit bit him.  We're on the way back from the doctor and they decided not to give him stitches... yadda, yadda, yadda.

M: what happened.

B: Ted had Bandit in his lap and and was tapping a pencil on the table getting Bandit to pounce on it so they could play tug of war.  And eventually Bandit got more than the pencil.  There were several chewed up pencils on the table so this "game" had been going on a while.

M: so our brain trust of a son was holding a pencil while teaching the dog to bite said pencil?

B: that about covers it.

M: is it wrong to comment on his stupidity?

B: I hope not.

But then to the best part of the day!!!  I got to have dinner with Linda and Bonnie!!!  Woo Hoo!!

It was so fun and they are so wonderful.  Though I do have to comment that they met early and had at least one drink before I got there... hmph.   They more than made up for it, though, by having a drink for me already ordered before I walked in the door.  You know you're going to have some common ground when they don't blink an eye at ordering you a drink when you beg for one by text even though they've never met you before!  As many of you already know, it's so nice to be out with people you don't have to... hide this band thing from... and that's not exactly the right way to put it - but it's just one of many parts of who you are and what you do in your life and it's as likely to come up in conversation as your stupid children or your crazy pets.

So thanks so much for a lovely evening and I certainly hope I didn't scare them off and we can do it again one of these days!

I saw Sheniqua on my anniversary

So.... I went to see the movie Red tonight.  It's my anniversary (okay well one of them, but that's a different story) and we went out to dinner and a movie.  Okay first I have to tell you that Brad and I think this is the very first time we've ever done anything celebratory on or for our anniversary and we've been married for 17 1/2 years. (and really this time was a fluke too - Brad decided we should go out and made the arrangements and it just so happened that our anniversary fell on a Saturday and.. yadda, yadda, yadda we went out)

The way we have celebrated each and every anniversary is with a race to see who remembers it first.  We both suck at it.  It's usually at 12:01am on the right day and one of us will say to the other HappyanniversaryIwin and the loser will say some version of "Aw man, shit!!!".  Though sometimes it's not till very late in the day and one year we both totally forgot until the following day when I called him from work to say "happyanniversaryIwin" and then we had to have this long debate about whether the win actually counted since it was no longer our anniversary.  Obviously I prevailed and it totally counted.  Brad had been on a winning streak for a while, but then the last 3 at least I had won but I'm totally bummed to report that this year I lost - damn it!!!  But, I only have to wait until April to try to take him again.

And okay apparently it isn't a different story since I'm continuing now.... We were planning our wedding which was scheduled to be November 6, 1993.  And for a variety of reasons, not the least was my deteriorating mental health, we decided (read: I begged) to elope on our way to Jazz Fest in New Orleans that spring.  So we went to the local court house and got married in April of 1993 which was witnessed by Fred the gray squirrel and hopped on a plane and enjoyed our first Fest.  We did have the November 6th wedding as planned and to this day no one in Brad's family knows we were already married when they watched us get married.  (This bubble will be burst soon enough as our kids know the truth and we would never ask them to keep it to themselves, so it's just a matter of time before the shit hits the fan, and hit it, it will)  We've celebrated both anniversaries ever since - well... our sort of celebrating.

Okay - back to Sheniqua - So we're watching Red (which was pretty good) and there's a scene where 2 of the characters go under cover and the woman (Mary Louise Parker) is Sheniqua Johnson (I think that's her last name and her body wasn't nearly as it's been described she'd look) and she was pretending to be some sort of scientist and I said out loud, much to the great delight of the people sitting next to me - "Hey! She's Sheniqua!!!, I know a Sheniqua!"  Of course then I worried that there was in deed someone really named Sheniqua in the audience who I had just offended by the shocked tone in my voice.

Anyway - that's my story for the night and since I've complained before, I'll add that Brad and I seem to be doing better right now.  I'm not sure we're out of the woods yet, but it's better and that's good for both of us.

Wow - you guys continue to be beyond amazing!!!

Thank you so much for all the wonderful comments to my last post, I can't possibly tell you how much I appreciated each and every one of them.  I actually feel a bit better about it now because it finally dawned on me to look into it a little bit.  I logged out of mytrekdownward and logged into gmail with a totally unrelated in any way different gmail addy and then tried again to follow her blog again and got the same message.  I think the odds of her having done some extensive research into my multiple personalities email addresses is extremely low; even my ego isn't that big.

But seriously I really, really can't thank you enough!!!  And... holy holy I have 61 followers now - how is that even possible?

um... I've been blocked. I'm not loved???... boo

So I'm happily reading blogs this evening and I read someone's comment and then decide to check out her blog and see that she's just recently gotten her surgery date and I think - hey a new person, I think I'll follow her and watch her progress too.  I know I love when people follow me and the support out there is amazing - let's pay it forward, shall we.  So I scroll to her followers and see several familiar faces and click on her 'follow' button... and.... boo hoo... whine whine whine.  moan moan moan.  I'm not wanted.

This is the message I got when I clicked the button.  

We're sorry, the site owner has blockedyou from joining this site.

Sign in as a different user

I've never seen such a thing on a blog.  Is it personal?  Do they not like me?  I mean, I can be a little out there, maybe have a bit of a potty mouth.  But I swear I'm a nice girl.  Why don't you like me, oh lovely blogger?  Deep breath in, deep breath out.  Okay.  I will try to not take this personally.  I think I'm going to decide that her follower thing was mysteriously broken and it's not me.  I'll sleep better if I think that.. okay, are you with me?

Oh no he di 'int!

I’m the controller for my company and as such have worked closely for many years with a particular lovely gentleman named Randal, who is our… broker is the only work I can come up with and that’s true, but it’s more that he’s our advisor for all things benefits and insurance. We have specific benefits people we work with directly, but this man is a financial advisor by trade and works on our behalf with various benefits plans; 401k, life insurance, health insurance.. that kind of thing. He also provides to any employee at no expense to them personal financial planning and advice; from the simple to the complex. He’s an older gentleman with a rye sense of humor and I’m as fond of him as he is of me.

Well Brad contacted him a while ago because we decided to switch from term to whole life insurance and he’s our go-to guy. So we both had new little medical evaluations for the new insurance and of course my recent lap band surgery came up during the routine medical questions. (can you see where this is going) Now, Randal and I had previously joked about how privacy laws are such that he’s not allowed to even know who or when the medical tests are happening for Brad and me, only that they are happening.

So cut to this morning when poor Randal had to call me because the insurance company wanted more information than the medical testing people had provided them with. I haven’t told anyone at work and here Randal is asking me the date of my lap band surgery – what? Holy shit. I dutifully answered.

Randal: And were there any complications?

Me: Uh no, none.

R: And since then… um… have you had… have you… um… have you seen any difference since the surgery.

M: Yes

R: uh.. well.. that’s good. And what was your weight prior to the surgery?

M: (oh no he di ‘int! – you’ve got to be fucking kidding me). (In my most professional, we’re talking about a benefits statement voice) 235.

R: Okay and so your boys both have two middle names, right?

M: um.. yes, they do – we were shooting for the latest in WASP-iness apparently.

I’m almost over it – I’m truly not sure who that conversation was worse for; him or me, and now I need to decide if I care that he knows – I mean privacy laws wise – I don’t think I actually care that he knows – information wise. But geesh – that was totally not how I thought my Friday morning would start.

Weigh in day

Today I weighed 203.4 which is totally shocking.  I've been up all week long, even before my food fest, until this morning.  I had mentally prepared for a gain of a couple of pounds.  I was ready for it, I even thought it would be good to have one now, when things are going pretty well - but huh?  not so much, I basically stayed flat this week and I will definitely take it happily!

A loss of .2 lbs this week for a total loss of 31.6.

Did my boobs just fart???

I’ve been reading all your funny and informative blogs for a while now and have gained lots of tidbits about this and that.  But, I must admit, some of what I’ve read about has been totally foreign to me.  I’ve had what I called “sort of stuck” episodes here and there.  Where I ate something and I could feel uncomfortable pressure in my chest, but in every case after a couple of minutes at most it would pass and I could resume eating.  Those times seemed to always be associated with eating fast – and by eating fast, I do mean shoveling in one bite after another – chewing like a mad man, sure, but still the speed was there – so I could make it to soccer/football/band practice on time.  It was always followed by a “note to self” moment.  Hey idiot, slow the hell down.

But then I had my last fill.  And… Oooooh, now I get it.  Well I’m sure I still don’t get lots of it, but I get a lot more than I did before.

-Eat small bites.  I’ve been doing this.  I’m a rule follower from way back.  But apparently this little thing inside me (oh and now I’m feeling like I should name it cuz it certainly has a mind of its own) just will not tolerate anything much bigger than a mere morsel.  If you don’t – well, she’s gonna throw a hissy fit.  And by hissy fit, I mean mouth filled with saliva, feels like you’ll never fully swallow again, lots of pain in the chest.  And it just hangs out there; sometimes for a few seconds and sometimes for several long minutes – I haven’t found any rhyme or reason yet, but I’m now fully prepared to give up and try again later.

- Eat slowly.  And that really means… Slowly.  Like, take a bite.  Put your fork down.  Chew until the chickens have laid another egg.  Walk away.  Clean the bathroom.  Help the kids with their homework and then come back and take another bite.  Rinse, repeat.

-And the sounds.  Seriously?!  What the hell was that?  I’ve heard others talk about the gurgling noises they make – And since I had been burping a little more than I had pre-band, I assumed that’s what they meant.  Uh no.  Not so much.  I’m assuming this is air that is being forced around by the food trying to get through that little hole that Velma is creating (Velma?  What do you think?  I think I’m going to try out some names and see what fits) – but mother Mary full of grace – are you kidding me?  It’s horrifying and hilarious all at once.  Did my boobs just fart?  And it’s not a one time thing either.  Noooo.  This noise, whatever the hell it is will just follow the food down – the whole mile and a half it must travel.  (certainly this can’t just be from my mouth to my stomach).  Maybe this is what my idiot doctor was talking about when he said the rumbling stomach isn’t a sign of hunger.  I can still tell the difference thank you very much, but there is a lot more rumbling going on.

So I’m now reviewing everything I’ve read from all you lovely people and now trying to seriously apply it to my life in a new and very specific kind of way.  Because this shit is different. 

I can't believe I ate the whole thing

OMG.  I feel awful!!!

I swear to God I have no idea what the Hell got into me yesterday. 

I.  Could.  Not.  Stop.  Eating. 

I had candy at work along with the world’s biggest salad.  I had candy at home.  I met my family at a restaurant and ordered an omelet and hash browns.  I didn't eat much of the eggs, but the hash browns…well that’s a different subject altogether.  Was I hungry?  NO.  Did I keep eating?  Uh, yeah.  Then we went to an election night event for my dad (the race is still too close to call this morning) and I ate some more; chicken fingers and potato salad.  I don’t even like chicken fingers and potato salad.  What the hell was wrong with me?  As far as the band is concerned, there was a moment or two where I felt I needed to wait for things to move along, but for the most part there wasn’t really any issues.  I chew things like a mad woman and it just wasn’t a problem.

OMG.  I feel totally sick and all kinds of bloated today.  And of course now I’m all worried that I hurt my band or some stupid thing like that.  Maybe I should do that five day pouch thing – just to be safe?  Man, whatever it is, I need to shock my little bitsy brain back into the world of the living today.

Ok – rant over.

I'm whining. I know already!

So I only lost 7.4 lbs this month and I’m disappointed by that.  On the one hand, I’m thrilled the number is going down, don’t get me wrong.  But on the other, here I am in this really good headspace.  I’ve finally gotten my ass in gear and am on the treadmill 5 days every week with increasing intensity.  I haven’t added the weights yet, but I am consciously trying not to overwhelm myself, you know?  One thing at a time.  I’m doing great on the eating front.  I’m feeling pretty good about the cardio part.  I’ll add the weights part – but in this really great headspace, I should be losing more than 1.85 lbs per week.  This is like the beginning for me, you know?  And I’m doing what I should be doing. 

In the future it will be harder, sure.  But right now.  This is the easy part (band or not), I’m cruising along, doing what I should.  When I did the Johns Hopkins program I was eating roughly the same amount of calories, working out the same (at this point.  I did increase it, just as I will this time), and I was consistently losing on average 2.5lbs per week.  What’s the difference this time.  Is it just the 4 years older that I am?  I think if I understood the why, it wouldn’t bug me so much, but alas.  It does.  But, I’m just going to keep doing what I know I should be doing – this is the easy part and my body will either figure it out or it won't.

They want you to do what?

Another little convo about meeting up with Linda, Bonnie and maybe Banded Mommy from This Banded Mommy's Journal...

Brad: So, why are you meeting up with these people?  Just to chat and get to know each other??


Me: Yeah.  (and to allay his fears I added)  We're meeting at PF Changs.


B: Okay, that sounds good.


M: Though... oddly they wanted me to first meet them around back behind the dumpsters...




My smart ass wonderful neighbors
As I mentioned before we're starting our Christmas decorating seriously early since we're going away for Thanksgiving week and have the party the week after that.  So on Saturday, first Brad put up our Halloween decorations that include the new addition of a 6 foot plus grim reaper, and then he started putting up icicle lights around the garage. 


I saw our neighbor Alicia later in the day who said:  So, Read, the Christmas lights with the green dude... It's a good look.  We were wondering, after tomorrow what are you going to do?  Add a little baby Jesus in front of Mr. Reaper?  Or maybe give him some wings??

I truly love our neighbors.