I can only do what I can do. Isn’t that the truth? I read a post the other day from Dinnerland and it totally got me thinking. You know what? I gained a few pounds. I can hide from that, sure. I can refuse to ever get on the scale again. I can make excuses; I can bitch and moan about why and how. But… who cares. It just doesn’t matter how I got here… okay, I don’t actually believe that completely. Certainly it matters how we got here. How we got anywhere. But if I spend all my time and energy on trying to figure out what got me here, when (and if) I finally figure it out, I’ll still be here. I need to spend the lion’s share of my time and energy on moving from here.
I can only do what I can do – I can only get up today and decide to make good food choices, decide to exercise, decide to blog, decide to read things I know will inspire me to continue to make good choices. I’m here. Here is where I am, I can only move from here. The things I do today can bring me one step closer to where I want to be.
Do I think it’s important to try to figure out how I got here? Sure. I think understanding that, or trying to, can help me try to avoid the same pitfalls next week or next month. But, I can’t *only* try to figure it out, blame it away, cry and moan about it – I have to do something about it too. I have to move from here, because here is where I am.
This is true with marriage too, don’t you think? You can be mad and defensive and full of anger and blame about what has changed and what you did wrong or how you got here, but… who cares. Okay, there is probably very valuable information in there – knowing how we got here, where here is – this is all good, I’ve no doubt – but if there’s no connection today, then there’s no connection today. And I need to move from here, because here is where I am. The bridges won’t get built again because I know what broke them down. I may be able to support them better for the knowing, but just knowing won’t build them. I have to stand here, right where I am today and decide to build them. I can work, and work hard, to figure out how to build them stronger – but I have to decide to build them first. I have to decide to move from here, because here is where I am.