Man! I suck at this NaBloPoMo stuff... It's not for lack of desire, I swear it. I'm just an idiot sometimes.
I went out with my friend Jen last night and man was that a much needed evening! I've known her for... hmmm, a long time. Since before I got married. So, I guess, pushing 20 years ish - of course, we met, and I got married, when we were very small children. Anyway - she knows me so very well, and has known me for such a long time over the highs and lows of life. Our marriages, our kids, the insanity of our in laws; we've shared it all.
She knew me way back when, when all my emotions were all blocked off. She was there when I was suffering with depression. And she's watched me come into my own with respect to really owning who I am; including all the parts of my personality - and wanting to learn to express and own my emotions too.
And because we've watched each other grow and learn for all these years, there's just not much we can't or haven't talked about (if anything). So we spent 5 or 6 hours drinking and talking about what's going on in our lives and the emotions involved and what there is to learn from this and that. All the while, of course, laughing and having fun. It's always so nice to reconnect with her and I have no idea how or why we let life get in the way of keeping more closely connected. OH... And we're talking about going to Jazz Fest again in 2012 - Yippee!! I love NOLA!
But then today..... having nothing at all to do with Jen - I'm in a mood. Do you ever have those days where despite your best efforts the world is spinning out of your control? Where you think things are going isn't the case? That the plans you made for your day, just don't pan out? Today has been one of those days - top to bottom. I can't say I was hung over, because I wasn't really - but I'd had plenty to drink last night and I don't know about you, but I never sleep well when there's lots of alcohol churning around in my body. So... while I got some things accomplished it was a very slow day. And then of course when I went to feed the dog I discovered there was no dog food. Guess who fed the dog last? It wasn't even one of the kids - it was Dan. Did he bother to do anything about it - or even to mention it. Uh, that would be a nope. And can we guess where he is?? In California. So the downside was I had to go out when I was busy being a lump - but the up side was it was a beautiful day here in MD and I got to drive to the store with my top down - yay! So maybe I can say he gave me a little gift - the gift of a nice drive with fun music with the top down in November. There aren't that many left in 2011. (Dear husband - if you are reading this and think it's okay to offer me a "your welcome" for your little gift - think again :) )
And then - every person I spoke to today (except Farrah) has said or done things I wasn't expecting - at least not on my 'I just want to be a lump' day. When I'm here at home alone for a week - with no one to even bounce things off of. I think my brain is too muddled to handle things today and as you all know - I truly and profoundly hate drama. Of course my solution was to break out the wine. Wine makes everything more clear (that's true, right?).
And speaking of Farrah - that poor thing was stuck in Laramie, WY for a long time today. She and her family were trying to drive back home to Bum Fuck, WY from Denver but discovered the roads were closed. Then they were opened. Then they were closed again - all due to high winds blowing the snow across the roads. (man am I glad I don't live in WY). They got stuck there last night and were able to spend the night at a friend's house - but then headed out today only to have to turn back. I haven't heard from her in a few hours (which does not make me happy at all) but when last we texted they were heading home at 5 mph. I sure hope they make it soon!!!