Monday, September 21, 2009

WI - first week on WW

I did it. A whole week on WW. It wasn't too hard, in fact it felt like I was cheating some of the time, I think it'll take me a couple of weeks to "get into" it as far as feeling more relaxed with it. I used 11 (I think) of my flex points. I was really shooting for hitting my points exactly and so for the most part I did that, going over a few here and there. I'm still feeling a little oddly nervous about not eating enough, though I'm sure that will relax as time goes on and I learn to trust in WW. I'd definitely like to get to the place where I'm certainly trying to eat all my points each day, but if it works out (especially on a work day where the kids have sports after school) that it's just easier to eat only prepackaged quick meals and I am fairly low on the point scale that I'm not going to worry about it - knowing that tomorrow is another day.

I lost 1.6lbs this week. On the one hand I'm really happy and proud that I've had a loss for four consecutive weeks - I can't tell you how long it's been since that happened. On the other hand I'm a little disapointed by the number. I feel a little gipped that I didn't get that 2nd weeks big-ish loss that you usually get when starting a new eating plan, though it has occurred to me that switching from fairly low carbs to normal regular food I probably gave back some of the water weight I'd lost, so the 1.6 might actually be better than I thought. In reality, when I decided to switch to WW I thought it was possible that I might gain the first week for just that reason so I should be happier than I am - probably.

The thing is, in the past when I've lost weight I usually average about 2.5 lbs per week over time and so to see only 1.6 so early, especially after the very odd start - well it just frightens me a little. It is no where near frightening me enough to want to stop or anything even remotely like that, but it does give me a little pause.

One thing that has always been true for me is that I find sticking to a plan easy. Seriously easy. But that only lasts for a while - maybe 4-6 months or so and then it suddenly moves from easy to impossible. There's almost no warning - it's just gone - like a switch flips in my brain. So this time around I'm looking for ways to .... mitigate that, prevent that, deal with that.... all of the above. One thing that is different is that I absolutely feel like I'm on the same path I started 3.5 years ago (January 2006) and to me that feels healthy, sure I might be nutso to say that, but I feel more like I've strayed from the path and now I'm finding my way back vs. having gotten off the path and gone in a different direction. I'm not sure if that makes sense to anyone but me. But somehow it feels different in a good way. Like it was still true that the plan became impossible for me, but I didn't give up, I've still struggled to get back there.

So as I'm thinking about the things I need to do to keep myself from veering so far off the path in another 6 months it seems I should be doing two things - 1) figuring out how to take advantage of my current state - my current ability to stick to a plan so effortlessly and do whatever I can to maximize my weight loss now - exercise more, learn more about nutrician more - that kind of thing and 2) really work, now, to come up with things that will help me when this suddenly becomes impossible.

On the number 1) front above I'm considering adding Alli to the mix. It's an FDA approved drug that keeps the body from absorbing some of the fat in your diet. It only works if you are eating a low calorie/ low fat diet and well WW certainly counts (well my version of WW does). It claims to boost your weight loss. I'm thinking of adding it, though I have heard that there may be side effects related to your liver, so I need to look into that as well. Again this isn't something I'd want to do forever, but it sort of feels like - if I can push myself now when I'm in this good place that it might help me in the long run - we'll see. I'm also trying to get back into the swing of serious exercise. I'm lucky in that I really like to exercise, but even liking it, it's hard to get back in the habit of it. I managed to stay in the routine of working out about 4-6 hours a week for more than a year, but it's probably been close to a year since I've been that regular about it but I've been slowly ramping back up and am hoping that too will help - both for the shorter run but of course also for the longer run.

On the number 2) front - One of the things I'm doing differently is this blog, and the blogtolose blog as well. I'm thinking more freely talking about this will help me in a couple of ways - one is that I've always been way too closed about myself and I think sharing the burdon is helpful for all involved and that certainly includes this. I know when I read others' blogs I get stuff out of it and I'm sure they do as well, both by getting their thoughts out and by whatever comments they might get in return. But I also think it will add a level of accountability - sort of like making a date with a friend to exercise. If I'm in the habit of talking about this stuff with someone then I'm hoping it will help me nip my future struggles in the bud before they become big huge impossible downward patterns.

I haven't yet decided if I'm going to keep up both of these blogs - I'm thinking not, but haven't decided which one makes sense for some reason. I feel a litte more free to say whatever I want here and more free to just rattle on at the mouth here, but I think there I'm more likely to connect with people and I think that's ultimately going to be the key. So I either need people to come here or I need to get over whatever it is that is keeping me from being more verbose over there and until then I'll probably keep doing both.... eh? we'll see.

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