Just another glimpse into my neurosis....

So… I have this problem about getting overwhelmed by how much shit there is to do so I will either do nothing or try to do it all which of course means I finish nothing.

I have all these things I want or need to do in my house and it’s just too much for me to wrap my head around – I can’t figure out what to do first.  And OMG people who start shit and then don’t finish it – they are the kind of people who get on my last damn nerve – and if you saw my son’s room, or any number of other things you’d know that I am on my own last damn nerve every damn day right now.

So I finally decided I would just pick a point in my house and slowly and systematically work around the house, room by room.  The idea was that I would go to a room and determine what needed to be done in order for it to be just like I want it to be – or a reasonable facsimile thereof.

Okay – wait – here’s the background.. sort of… When I decorate my house for Christmas.. I LOVE IT!  All the colors work together, the high ceilings are perfect and every little thing flows wonderfully into the next.  I just love it.  But the rest of the year… meh.  It’s fine.  The bones are the same and they’re wonderful bones.  The wall colors are great.  But… meh.  It doesn’t flow and it just isn’t an accurate reflection of who we are in the same way the house is during the holiday season.  Part of this was because we have children and they are small little spawn of satan who suck the life and time right out of you and who… oh wait, off track there.  They used to have their toys all over the damn place on the main floor and we have extremely open floor plan so from just about any spot you can see just about any other spot on the whole first floor – so that Nerf sword that was left near the piano – well it bugs the shit out of me no matter where I’m standing.  So I didn’t spend a lot of time trying to make it my own because I was incapable of competing with Nerf.  (I had to make choices when I had kids and Nerf won.)  So… we finished the basement and banished the kids and their toys downstairs and life is better.  This has created great relief but… well… now I need to make it my own.

So.. back to the story… we got some new grown up furniture, and sent the older beat up stuff downstairs with the kids.  That was step 1.  Now I need to sort of decorate the rest.  And this is something I’m good at – but it’s too much for my poor little brain and it stops me cold.  So.. really back now… I decided to start in the sunroom and work room by room around the house.  (I’m ignoring that my son’s room has yet to be put back together after  having painted it several weeks ago.)

So.. the sunroom needs the school supplies organized into the desk, and all the cool weather stuff that Brad got me for Christmas needs to be installed on the deck instead of sitting on the edge of the couch.  And there needs to be a new low bookcase under the bar.  I’ve looked for the bookcase and I can’t find one that’s the right size and shape and color.  No problem, I’ll build one.  I’ve built them before.  I’ll love doing that!  But… what if I start building it and then leave it half built there in the middle of my kitchen?  Holy shit, I’d have to kick my own ass.  And so it goes.  Nothing is getting done cuz I haven’t gotten around to going to the hardware store to buy the wood for the god damn bookcase.  Please just shoot me.