I did it. It’s small. But I did it. I set a goal and I met the goal. It frightens me in ways I don’t understand, but I’m happy I did it. I went for a walk to a particular street. That’s all I did, but man, you’ve got to start somewhere, right?
On my walk I learned... ok didn’t learn… was reminded in no uncertain terms about how out of shape I am. It’s pretty bad. But again… You’ve got to start somewhere. So while lying in bed I decided to set a goal – I have a long and unhappy relationship with goals – I was going to walk to a particular cross street. I don’t know how long it is, but it’s more than a half mile, so I knew I’d be walking more than a mile. And the last little bit to the cross street is a solid down hill – which is great, except I was going to turn around at the street and head back home which means a good solid up hill. In the past I’ve stopped at a mailbox just before that hill – afraid of it. But… I decided while lying in bed I was going to go to the street. It’s not like the hill will kill me, right?
It took roughly 5 minutes for me to start thinking about just going to the mailbox. Whenever I “start” walking again, the outside of my lower legs will sometimes… seize up… they hurt a lot and they get rock hard. I’m not sure what it is exactly, but from experience I know that after my body gets used to walking again, that’s the first thing that goes away. On some level I welcome the pain – because I know it will go away and I’ll have a measure of progress I can mark. So that was going on on my left leg. And on the right side, my foot hurt. I had a car accident on Monday. Just a little fender bender - that totally destroyed the front end of my car - and starting on Tuesday my right foot hurt a little. I've chalked it up to the accident as I was 'standing' on the brake pedal with that foot at the point of impact. It's hurt on and off for the rest of the week, but usually it's been one of those things where when I first stand up and start walking it hurts, but as I keep walking, down the hall, down the street, whatever - it loosens up and is fine.
During my walk it hurt the whole way, but not terribly. Enough to notice, but not so much that it was really hindering me. As I got closer to the mailbox I decided I could make it to the street. It was my goal and I want to learn to set and work towards and achieve goals - and this was just a little one. Both my legs hurt in different ways, but it wasn't terrible. I'm terribly out of shape so it makes perfect sense my body would be trying to convince me to go back and sit quietly on the couch, but you've got to start somewhere and it's just a couple blocks further down to the street past the mailbox. So I past the mailbox, kept my head down and made it to the street and back. Yay me.
But, by the end of the walk, the outside of my left leg had mostly loosened up, but my right foot continued to hurt and started to hurt a little more. I turned a corner and could see my shadow and noticed I even seemed to be limping a little which I absolutely didn't want to be doing. So I worked hard on walking steadily and evenly and not limping. I was nearly home by then and made it.
Unfortunately, my foot seems to have continued to get worse. I got inside and my poor foot seems to have given up. So here I sit with my foot on ice, having ingested several advil, hoping I'll walk again. (No, I'm not dramatic.... much).
So... you have to start somewhere - that's my new mantra. We'll see where it leads me.