B.Y.O.C.

Now to BYOC:

1. For $50,000 – would you go without brushing your teeth, showering or wearing deodorant for 3 months?

I think I'd choose wearing deodorant.  What do I care how badly I offend the rest of the world... Just kidding.  But I figure, I could shower more and move less and there's no way I could give up brushing my teeth - I just hate an icky feeling mouth - like you wake up with and there's no way I could go without showering.  I'm not a long hot bath kind of girl, but give me a dark room, a hot shower, some solitude and some good music and I'm in flat out heaven!

2. Is it harder to tell someone you love them or harder to tell someone you don’t love them back?

Hmmmm.  This is a hard one, I have no idea what the answer is.  I've only ever told Brad I love you as in really love, and I've never had to tell someone I don't love them back.  My walls are masterpieces and I just don't let people in, so I can't imagine it would be hard to say because I can't imagine getting in a situation where there was some doubt as to my feelings.  So my thoughts on saying it center more around some crazy lunatic who thought he loved me and I wouldn't have any problem with that, so... As for the I love you part.  We were not a family that said it much or really said much of anything that was meaningful or truly important.  Emotions were frowned upon so I had shut my emotions down hard behind a steel curtain by the time I was in high school and then I met Joe.  Joe was my first intimate relationship and it wasn't sexual at all.  We were best friends and we were seriously connected in some very profound ways - We had every bit of a serious and important relationship except without the sex.  He came from a differently screwed up family and we clicked.  But the point is - Joey taught me to say I love you when I did.  And I loved him profoundly, I still do and he loved and loves me.  It was an extrordinarilly liberating experience.  I remember saying it over and over again and it just being so... amazing.  That it was okay to have this emotion and to tell someone about it.  So... I'm not exactly sure what that means in the context of this question.  I'm still a big fraidy pants and if I were faced with loving someone again (other than Brad) but neither of us had said it... I don't know if I could take the leap unless I was sure he was with me.  Brad said it first, but he knew with complete certainty that I would reciprocate the words.  We never actually said it, but we were both waiting for him to be ready to say those words - he's 3  years younger than I and was still in college at the time...  Okay, now I'm officially rambling and I'm not sure I answered the question... Oh well.

3. What is on your bedside table?

(Can I just say that as much as Drazil wants us to believe that she's not putting these totally loaded questions in here on purpose, I for one don't believe it for a second. (and I totally love them)).
But that said... There's nothing perverted "on" my bedside table as I have two kids running around who'd ask all kinds of questions.... "hey mom, what's this pink thing? and why is it buzzing?"  "What do you use lube for?"  "A plug for what?  There isn't even a cord for it, what could it possible turn on?"

So, on the bedside table are 2 alarm clocks (one is used for the alarm feature and is set for 15 minutes in the future and the other is used for its sound machine qualities as I like to go to sleep to the sound of rain and it's set for the correct time.)  Also there is a book or two and maybe my glasses or iphone (which doubles as a kindle in a pinch).

Now if the question had been what's "in" my bedside table, well that would have been a whole other story...

4. If you could be invisible, who would you kiss?
I'm stuck here.  Why would I have to be invisible?  And if I were invisible wouldn't that scare the shit out of whoever I was kissing and then they wouldn't kiss me back the way I'd want to be kissed.  I guess if I lived in some alternate universe (the kind my nerdy husband and oldest son are so fond of) where receiving kisses from random invisible people wouldn't incite mass hysteria then I guess..  Nope, I'm really stuck on the invisible part.  Isn't part of a really good kiss the eye contact just before?  The anticipation.  The knowledge.  How about I change the question to suit my own desires.... If I were given a free pass (isn't there a movie out right now about men getting a free pass to be single for a week?)  But if I were given a free pass to kiss whoever I wanted.... would they want to kiss me too?  Or is this just a hit and run kind of thing.  Clearly I'm having trouble with this one.

5. Repeat question: Summarize your life in blog land and real life.

Blog land... Both Drazil's and Sandy Lee's posts really touched me.  I've been pondering the meaning of love for a while now.  I haven't gotten anywhere yet, but they both added inciteful and thought provoking nuggets to what's already bouncing around in my brain - so thanks to both of them.  The reality of it is that I have been so busy with work that there just hasn't been that much time to read (or do much of anything really).

Real life - Again, I've been so busy (I worked 14 hours yesterday - my back was not ammused this morning that I had made it sit there for so damn long yesterday) that I have barely been doing anything else.  The upside is that I haven't laid eyes on my MIL in two days and she's leaving tomorrow (God willing).  The downside is that I'm tired as shit and I'm not getting any good blog fodder from her.  Though we are all going out to dinner tonight on her last night so hopefully she won't disappoint.