So I need an unfill....

Just a little fyi for those who might experience similar things...  I am in no way having the issues that Amy W or Gen were having, but still...


I thought it might be okay.  I thought there might just be a very steep learning curve.  I thought the serious tightness might be a result of my good friend TOM who was visisting.  Not so much.  Or at least I'm not willing to climb that kind of learning curve - I'm just not that agile.

I was nervous about this fill as I was thinking maybe .2 or so at the most and no fill would have been fine, but he initially gave me 1.5cc for some assinine reason and then when I couldn't swallow water in his office he took out .5cc.  I'm a serious fatalist and thought perhaps a fill of 1cc was what I should get and it wasn't that he's just a freaking moron who gives huge fills if you want tiny ones and small fills if you want bigger ones.

I very dutifuly did liquids for 2 days and mushies for 2 days and that went okay.  I certainly couldn't eat much; definitely less than 1/2 C, but with time and a LOT of chewing I could get everything down.  And then I moved on to a little more substantial food.  I had some chicken salad and that went okay if extremely slowly.  I am seriously and profoundly not hungry at this fill level.  Like - I'm pretty sure I am never going to be hungry again in my life - ever.  I'm not full at all, it's just completely not on my radar.  It's very odd and very cool. 

But the day after I was able to eat several bites of chicken salad I threw up on cottage cheese.  And then that night I had a serious issue - like throwing up a little at a time for about 40 minutes after maybe 2 bites of scalloped potatoes.  I knew I'd be really tight the next day and I was so I only did liquids again.  This started a cycle.  One I can't explain.  Some days I was able to eat a little bit, chewed extremely well and very, very slowly - but I could get it down.  And on those days as this is my busy season I was thinking - eh... I can survive this little amount of food.  I'm not hungry.  I am wildly busy - so I don't really have time to eat bad stuff (as I'm chained to my desk at the moment).  So as long as I get in enough protein, liquid, and calories.  I'll just wait and see how it goes.  Hey, maybe I'll even lose a little weight as I've been hanging around the same number for about 6 weeks.

I was bummed as I had just started to get in a groove of working out in the morning before work - but I had to suspend that as I couldn't drink enough water to work out in the morning.  But again - eh, we'll see what happens.  But the pattern is way too pronounced and I just can't get a handle on it.  Some days I can eat well enough - if mostly soft stuff, but seemingly the next day or next minute - I can't get anything down.  And on those days where it's bad - a few times it's gotten really bad for no reason I can explain. 

Yesterday was bad.  I've already been gross enough so I'll spare you the details, but it wasn't pretty.  And so I again packed only liquids today.  I hadn't eaten much all weekend already, so I was very careful to have enough liquid, calories, and protein with me.  I almost threw up on water on my way to work, but managed to keep it down.  And by noon, I had to give up on my chai latte.  I was just never going to get it down.  It's now just about 8pm and I've gotten down probably close to 32oz of water; half of which had protein and vitamins in it.  I've got an unfill scheduled for 9am the day after tomorrow.  In theory I'll be a little looser tomorrow and will be able to drink freely again.  But this is just too much - even on an every other day schedule.

Of course I'm totally worried about my freakazoid of a doctor - will he take everything out?  I did ask him specifically what he'd do if I found this fill was too tight and he said he'd take half of what he just put in back out - but we'll see what he really does.  He's not made much sense yet.

Anyway - that's me and my band at the moment.