I've been de-followed

There were 106 and now there are 105.  Someone doesn't like me anymore.  It's very, very sad.  I thought we had a good thing going.  There was laughter and frivolity.  I thought I meant more than that.  I thought I was important.  I thought we had a future.

You know, it's hard.  It's hard when you love someone and they don't love you back.  It's hard when you try to be the best you can be and find out... sometimes it's just not good enough.  Sometimes what you are, who you are, what you have to offer - just aren't what the other person wanted or needed.

I know after some time has passed I'll be better able to put this in perspective, but right now.... it's just really hard.  I want what we had before.  When it was going well.  When we were stronger.  There was laughter.  There were smiles.  There was a real connection.... or maybe that was just me.  I thought we had a real connection.  Maybe that's what this all boils down to - I need to get a better handle on what 'connection' means.  I guess it means more to me than it did to them.

I know I'll survive this hit.  It's just going to take some time.  Sniff sniff.

Holy Cow! How did this happen?

I have 105 followers.  You have got to be kidding me.  I have no idea how I missed this number jumping up like this, but holy shit!  I can't tell you how thrilled and shocked and amazed I am that there are people out there who chose to follow me. 

Thank you so much for your continued support and entertainment!!!

Finding your G-spot and a Stylish blogger award

So... Thank you so much Sandy Lee for coining (at least for me) the term G-spot to refer to that magic place that people with the band are always searching for.   It's a combination of the Green Zone and the Sweet Spot... and of course she came up with G-Spot. 

Of course there are things that it has in common with the other G-Spot...

Women and smart men go searching for the G-Spot - Bandsters; both women and men, search for the G-Spot.
The G-Spot is hard to find for some and right there; front and center for others - The G-Spot can be found in a few weeks or it may take a year or so.
The G-Spot can make you scream at the top of your lungs - the G-Spot can make you scream with joy.
The G-Spot can lift your body straight off the bed - The G-Spot can make you feel as though you are lighter than air.
The G-Spot will leave you good and satisfied for a long time - The G-Spot will leave you satisfied for a good long while.
The G-Spot will bring you happiness, peace, and joy - The G-Spot will make you happy you can only eat a small piece of an Almond Joy
A good experience involving the G-Spot can leave you limp like a noodle - The G-Spot will let you eat a limp noodle.

So, while at first I thought Sandy Lee just had a dirty mind, (which is obviously completely the case) I totally think she's on to something here.  From now on, I'm totally calling it the G-Spot.  I can't tell you how much I love that.  (and it's good to know there are others out there - Sandy Lee - that have a dirty mind too)

And now onto the Stylish Blogger Award.  I've never gotten an award before and I was given the award by both Fit By 40 and Libby over at This One Time at Band Camp.  I can't thank them both enough - how completely fun for me, but I must dedicate this award to Ricky, my MIL, without whom this wouldn't have been possible.

For the Award I'm to:
Thank the person who gave you the award, reveal seven things about yourself, and nominate 15 bloggers who you have recently discovered or love. Then leave a comment on their blog letting them know they've been nominated.

Seven things - this could go in a lot of different ways....

1. I go out and buy all the things I need for a hobby before I ever get around to trying it out. I, therefore, am ready at a moments notice to make a basket, build a clock, make any kind of jewelry you could want, do some scrap-booking, decorate a multitude of mirrors, paint, decorate clothing, sew, make a mosaic… unfortunately I could go on and on.
2. When I entertain, I have a disease where I have to have enough of every single thing I serve to satisfy the crowd if every person only wanted that one thing – consequently leftovers are a constant in our home. Luckily my husband has grown to accept this of me.
3. I am a stricter parent than my mom was, but I think having given my boys room to "fly and be free" is one of my greatest accomplishments.
4. I have been misunderstood my entire life, people have assigned motive and meaning to my actions that couldn't be further from the truth - I've learned I can't do anything about what people think.  Along the same lines, lots of people are or have been afraid of me (their words not mine). It used to really bother me, now I mostly find it amusing.
5. I am constantly amazed that I survived my youth relatively in tact and scared witless when I look at my friend's teenagers and think back to what I was doing at their ages - because they are WAY too young for drinking, smoking, getting high and sex.  (this terror does not extend to my own kids (mostly) because I am in deep denial)
6. I am totally stumped as to why gay marriage is a big deal in this country.  Love just can't be bad.  I believe Jesus died for my sins, but I believe God created us all.  When we got married the first time it was by a Justice of the Peace and all we were doing was entering into a contract with the state and bada bing we were married.  I get the idea that certain churches might not want to perform the ceremony (well I really don't get that either but I'm closer there) but why so many people in our country spend time and money and energy that it's wrong for two people who love each other to marry is and forever will be beyond me.
7. Whenever anyone talks about the time space continuum or time travel (and it's usually my husband and/or older son) I get a little light headed and want to flee.

And now for the 15 bloggers to nominate....  Well that's going to be a tough one as I follow and love about a million, so I think I'll send it out to some of the ones I have just recently found.

1. Amber from Jewel in the Rough
2. Dawnya at Evolution of a Black Butterfly
3. Lisa at The rest of my Life
4. Bones at Long Lost Bones
5. I have to give it back to Fit by 40
6. And also Libby over at This one Time at Band Camp
7. Silverhaired Goddess from Lapband and Beyond
8. Susan from Diary of a Lapband Mom
9. Angie from This Banded Mommy's Journey (who I had the pleasure to meet recently)
10. Rachel Thin Within-Life with my Lapband
11. Stephanie and She's in there Somewhere
12. Kellie from Something about Kellie
13. Becky from Prudence Rising
14. Liz from Tales from the Band
15. Christina from Memoirs of a Daegu Fatty
16. S over at This One Time at 'Band' Camp

Wow, that was fun!  I hope everyone has a fantastic G-Spot and G-Spot finding day!!!

Wow - you guys continue to be beyond amazing!!!

Thank you so much for all the wonderful comments to my last post, I can't possibly tell you how much I appreciated each and every one of them.  I actually feel a bit better about it now because it finally dawned on me to look into it a little bit.  I logged out of mytrekdownward and logged into gmail with a totally unrelated in any way different gmail addy and then tried again to follow her blog again and got the same message.  I think the odds of her having done some extensive research into my multiple personalities email addresses is extremely low; even my ego isn't that big.

But seriously I really, really can't thank you enough!!!  And... holy holy I have 61 followers now - how is that even possible?

um... I've been blocked. I'm not loved???... boo

So I'm happily reading blogs this evening and I read someone's comment and then decide to check out her blog and see that she's just recently gotten her surgery date and I think - hey a new person, I think I'll follow her and watch her progress too.  I know I love when people follow me and the support out there is amazing - let's pay it forward, shall we.  So I scroll to her followers and see several familiar faces and click on her 'follow' button... and.... boo hoo... whine whine whine.  moan moan moan.  I'm not wanted.

This is the message I got when I clicked the button.  

We're sorry, the site owner has blockedyou from joining this site.

Sign in as a different user

I've never seen such a thing on a blog.  Is it personal?  Do they not like me?  I mean, I can be a little out there, maybe have a bit of a potty mouth.  But I swear I'm a nice girl.  Why don't you like me, oh lovely blogger?  Deep breath in, deep breath out.  Okay.  I will try to not take this personally.  I think I'm going to decide that her follower thing was mysteriously broken and it's not me.  I'll sleep better if I think that.. okay, are you with me?

Thank you so much!!!

OMG!  I have 45 Followers.  I can't believe it and I'm so thrilled I can't hardly stand myself.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!  I can't begin to thank you all enough for all the support not to mention entertainment you've given me. 

THANK YOU!!!

Thank you so much to Sarah and Christine for mentioning my blog and to all the wonderful comments you all have been so good to leave!!

I can't tell you how much I appreciate it!