The one about the snake...

I’m minding my own business – seriously trying to lay about uselessly and read a book when Bandit the wonder dog (BTWD) Won’t. Stop. Barking.  Now as we’ve discussed many times before – this fucking cute little dog really likes to bark.  Usually, however, he will use his little dog door and go out on the back deck and bark for only a minute or two.  The branches blowing in the wind only hold his interest for so long.  Then he’ll often find a hunk of sun and lay down to bask.  Summer in MD is a beautiful thing for just this reason.  But… That fucking dog would not shut the fuck up.  And our neighbors already want to have our house burnt to the ground in hopes of trapping BTWD inside.  So, up I get so I can go get him to shut the fuck up.

He’s in prowl and hunt mode when I get out to him.  He’s crouched down creeping forward (while barking is ass off) on his way to attack… a harmless twig.  He lunges, nudges the offending stick with his nose, and quickly retreats.  Quietly (for 3 seconds) he moves on to another tiny little twig; this one complete with tiny little green leaves, and goes through the same process.  It would be comical if he’d just shut the fuck up for more than three seconds.  But alas, I know what he’s barking at… there has to be a snake near by and somehow he’s afraid these little twigs are also little snakes (cuz he’s really bright like that).

Where’s Brad you might ask?  Why of course, if there’s wildlife involved he’s not home, I answer.  He’s at a baseball game with Jackson.  I get Teddy.  I figure if he’s taller than me that has to count for something, right (okay so sometimes I suck as a mom.  Sue me.)  I tell him of my suspicions and we head down the stairs to find the snake – of course, Teddy’s gleeful at the prospect.  And there he is – right under where BTWD had been attacking the sticks is a snake hanging out in the beams under our deck.  (as an aside this explains the two dead birds and the trashed bird’s nest we found about a week ago).  He’s folded in half on himself and I just can’t get a clear view of him to verify it’s just a harmless black snake.  From our vantage point it looks like he has black and grey stripes. 

Teddy is immediately making plans for getting him down and then of course bringing him in the house as a pet.  Uh… maybe bringing the 12 year old on this expedition was an error in judgment.  We end up getting our neighbor, Jamie, to come over and get the snake down (extremely hilarious) and then kill the damn thing (totally gross).  It ended up just being a harmless little (about four feet long) black snake, but Jamie HATES snakes and is trying to eradicate them from the neighborhood – yeah… good luck with that… have you seen the woods behind our homes?

Anyway – as you all may know, when you cut off a snake’s head (as Jamie did) both parts continue to move around for about half an hour.  The little tongue still darts in and out from the little head part as the head moves back and forth and the body coils and uncoils as it sees fit. (ok not really sees as the eyes are on the other part).  So we threw the head part over the back fence into the woods and we put the rest on the driveway so Jackson could see it when he got home.  (sometimes I'm a champion mom)

For your viewing pleasure, here’s the snake sans head moving about on the driveway.

On another note - will someone please tell me what I need to do in order to comment again on people’s blogs??  - I know it has something to do with cookies and google accounts – but that’s all I’ve got at the moment. – thanks ever so much!!