B.Y.O.C. - The XXX rated version...

Apparently I and a few of Drazil's other followers were feeling a little sassy, and maybe a little vulnerable at some of her more serious questions and so I they suggested some other less vulnerable but perhaps a bit more racey questions.

So these questions are not from Drazil, but are from me and a few of her other followers.  So today, we’re going to spice things up a bit in the BYOC world…courtesy of some suggested questions from me and Drazil's followers.

One of her followers (me) said her questions were too hard on her brain, too serious...and she needed more "distracting, fun" questions.  And it turns out she's not the only one with questions like these - so today...I'm obliging them both.
That’s her disclaimer – these questions are not hers. They came from multiple perverted followers and who is she to say no when asked so nicely to put them out there?

Obviously – very personal. Obviously – probably borderline offensive for many. For that, I apologize. And obviously, you don’t have to answer these….and I realize many of you with public blogs with family readers aren't going to be able to.  You can answer in comments below if you'd like.

Oh it’s gonna be a fun Friday here in blogland, don’t you think?

Anyone wanna guess how many followers I’ll lose today?Here we go.

BYOC – Bring Your Own Crazy - *usually* 5 harmless questions we answer to get to know each other better. (today we’re gonna get to know each other better than our own mothers do I’m afraid) Also used as a break for your blogging brain. Copy and paste if you dare.

Try to Enjoy!

Please someone answer these so I'm not the only one!

1. What is your favorite position for sex? (I just went back to my email to Draz and this is from me - sigh)

Okay, I didn't really think she'd ever in a million years actually use these - geesh.  LOLOL.  But okay, if she can do it, I absolutely can too - and as I mentioned in my previous post (nice timing Draz) - I'm all for open sex communication.

So, favorite position.... hmmm...  I have a particular affinity for doggie style.  I am very sort of take charge in my normal every day life - kind of right out there - and I like very much to not be in charge in the bedroom (unless I'm in the mood for that) and doggie style, in addition to feeling really good also feels a little more submissive to me.  But there are few things I don't like... Well I don't like 69 at all.  I absolutely want to be able to concentrate on one or the other and I just can't when we're doing that.

2. How many orgasms have you had in a 24 hour period? - yeah okay this was mine too.

(and yes I owe you one Drazil)

I'm not sure I have any idea.  (clearly I didn't think this through when I originally suggested it).  I don't think I've ever had more than two, maybe three in one single... 'encounter'.  And we've certainly had multiple encounters in a given 24  hour period.  hmmmm.  My best guess would be 8, but it's really a guess.  I'm not so much a counter as an enjoyer - maybe it's my inability to do basic math in my head - add in an orgasmic state and jesus, I'm a screaming, blathering idiot.


3. Do you like to be spanked? (yup, mine too)

And holy jesus this is a hard one for me to answer. (this definitely doesn't fit into the less serious more distracting kind of questions).  Okay..... here I go...  I very much like the idea of spanking.  I like the idea of submission, of being submissive.  Of someone else being in charge.  Of rules and of consequences.  I also can't handle if someone tells me what to do - so there's a little problem with the previous comments.  I know people who use spanking (as in discipline) as an intregal part of their marriage dynamic with extremely successful results (as in extreme connection and love and respect).  I know people who use spanking with or without role playing in the bedroom with lots of fun and orgasmic results.  We've dabbled with one type and not the other and I'm interesting in exploring it further.


4. Do you think it’s ever okay to fake an orgasm – and when/why? (for real – this is a serious ? a follower wants to know) (phew - finally not one of my questions)

• Drazil's follower is asking this in the situation where the woman is possibly suffering from depression and her husband really really really tries and she just isn’t feeling it and so she fakes it – but then feels guilty. She wondered if any other women did this or thought it was okay?

To answer the question - yes, I think it's absolutely okay to fake an O.  Of course it is.  If doing so will bring less stress, will make you or someone else happy, will bring an end to something you'd rather not do even though you were willing - eh... whatever.  However - if the cost to you of faking it is bad - as it sounds like it is for Draz's follower, then no way!  If someone is thinking they may be sliding into the the firey pits of Hell depression and they are doing soemthing that makes them guilty - please stop doing that - you don't need that too.  You need all  your energy to slow and stop your slide. 

In my wilder days I absolutely faked a few here or there, when I was having fun, but the guy was just a guy who was young and clueless and thought pump pump pump and I'd get there.  I didn't care enough to educate - that's a lie - I was way too self concious and didn't want to draw any more attention to me to ever suggest how to do it differently - then I'd be on the hook to perform.  Sex was never intamacy for me - it was fun and to have those kinds of conversations would be way way way too intimate for me.

I think I may have once faked it with Brad when I was just in a mood and had decided mid way through that I wanted to be done and in that instance it was easier to fake it so he'd then finish (always ladies first here) and move on.  But there wasn't even a little tiny bit of guilt with that.  Eh.. He can absolutely do it for me, I can do it myslef.  We've been having sex for 20 years and eh - I just figured that one time who cares.  To have not done it then would have been more of a pain in the ass and more energy then I wanted to expend - again this was about my mood.  But there have certainly been times when I just didn't feel like 'going for it' and I've absolutely told him and that's no big deal.  He'll double and triple check that I'm good - and I wouldn't say it if it wasn't true - and we both enjoy ourselves.  It's not like sex without orgasm is a bad thing, it still feels good. 

I would say to her follower that if faking it is causing her stress or guilt, she needs to tell her husband.  If you want to keep having sex - if the intimacy is a comforting thing - or just cuz it feels good - or whatever the reason - then tell him that too.  If you need a break because you feel like you're on stage and have to perform then tell him that.  He's your husband, not just some guy you picked up.  I urge you to talk to him.


5. Thank God those are done. Repeat question #5. Summarize your week in blogland and in real life.

Blog land has been good.  I feel like I've had a little more time to begin to catch up, though I'm not completely there yet - but it feels like I'm back in town if that makes any sense and that's really fun.  Real life has been a mixed bag - if you read earlier this week you saw that my baby had to get 14 stitches in his face and that was awful!  But Brad and I are connecting more and more in really good ways and that's a truly beautiful thing.